Being a little bit naughty

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I thought it was absolutely hilarious when me and my boyfriend put suntan lotion in condoms and threw them over next doors garden fence. They landed in the middle of the patio table.

I'm laughing to remember it

when i was in the army i was in the barracks shower one day cleaning up with another GI walked in and peed on my feet basically daring me to make an issue of it. i got back at him by convincing him his GF would like the way he smelled if he put corn starch on his manparts, that it would give him sweet-smelling stuff when it got hot and sweaty. needless to say that is opposite of what actually would have happened. subtle but effective.

When I was 12, I once threw snowballs at a moving car. Because of this, the people in the car almost got into an accident. I'm lucky they didn't!

I love throwing snowballs at workmen when they're on a building site. They never know where it's come from.

Holiday Spas (no longer extant AFAIK) almost roped me into a lifetime membership contract. So I had a bit of a vendetta against them.

At the store I worked at I discovered that on our phone system you could call two outside numbers at the same time and put them both into conference mode with you and each other. So ... if you call two outside people without warning, and did that, and just kept silent, both of the two outside parties would end up talking to each other and both would think that the OTHER person called them. So on slow days I would just do that. But I would often call the local Holiday Spa as one of my victims.

Two people would answer their phones. Both would think the other was calling them. Both would be baffled. One party would realize that "you must have the wrong number", and force the other person to say "I thought that you called ME, I was the one who answered the phone". Entertaining. And I got a little revenge.

Ha that usd to happen in our call center every now and then. It was on an automatic dial system and sometimes used to call two people at the same time. It was so funny. They used to argue with each other.

As an intern, I once worked for a real jerk (even jerkier than I) who always took full credit for my work (copying, printing and collating folders for his presentations) during meetings.  He loved to use every possible color on the whiteboard, making it look like a Jackson Pollock painting by meeting's end.  Of course, he also "voluntold" me to clean the whiteboard when the meeting was over.  This happened many times.

One day, he not only took credit for my work, but implied that I had not contributed to his project at all.

Just before my internship was scheduled to end, he had another important meeting, and volunteered me to fetch donuts and coffee for the attendees.  While I was out, I stopped at a business supply store and purchased a box of permanent markers in six different colors.  Then I went into the meeting room before everyone else arrived, arranged the donuts and coffee on a side table next to the whiteboard, and set the box of permanent markers nearby.  Then I picked up all the whiteboard markers and set them on a shelf across the room.

Just before the meeting started, I handed the receipt for the donuts to the jerk, who told me that I would not be reimbursed, an that I should return to my cubicle and "look busy".  I pinned the marker receipt to his corkboard inside his office.

I was told that the meeting went well, and the jerk again "voluntold" me to clean the whiteboard afterwards.  All I could do was smear the ink around.  The jerk wanted to know why I was incompetent when his boss noticed the permanent markers he had been using.  Then the jerk had to explain his own incompetence . . . in his office . . . in front of his corkboard . . . with the receipt in plain view.

The new whiteboard -- which the jerk had to purchase, deliver, and install himself -- cost much more than what the donuts and coffee cost.  Not a bank-breaking amount, but still significant.  His embarrassment was evident, however, and he sought every means to place the blame on someone else.  No one could be found, and the people at the business supply store did not remember me.

I walked away from that internship with a glowing recommendation from the jerk's boss, a half-dozen donuts, and the knowledge that the jerk had been reprimanded and warned to treat future interns much better.

I once taped a colleague to his chair because he was annoying me. Not sure if that's naughty or twisted, but it was definitely my most professional moment.

I used to hide one of my colleagues box of cereals. I'd put it in a different place each day and when she found it I'd act as surprised as she was. She thought it was the cleaners.

A former supervisor had the only speakerphone at work, and he liked to use at full volume so he could be anywhere in the shared office area and still talk on the phone.  Of course, he demanded that everyone else remain silent while he took his "important calls".  Anyone who objected was told to take it up with HR, but because his wife worked in HR, there was never any resolution.

On night, I had was just finishing up when an idea popped into my head.  All I needed was a screwdriver and pair of wire-cutters . . .

The next morning, the supervisor's phone rang.  It was his wife.  We all knew it because he took the call on speakerphone.  But she could not hear him.  She hung up and called back.  Same story.  Then a customer called.  Same results.  Finally, the Big Boss marched in and demanded to know what was going on.  After a short demonstration, the Big Boss told the supervisor he did not need an "effing" speakerphone anyway and told him to pick up his calls from then on.

Problem solved.

The Set-Up

I lived in a one-bedroom walkup apartment, next door to a meth addict.  Any time of the day or night, she would pound on my door and demand that I stop spying on her (i.e., tapping her phone, opening her mail, x-raying her walls, reading her mind, et cetera).  One of her regular boyfriends threatened me once, too.

This was soon after I got my first ham radio license.  It was also soon after remote car alarms became affordable, and my neighbor had one installed in her pickup truck. 

The Naughty Bit

It took some trial-and-error, but I found the frequency and code to her key fob (this was before rolling code sequences) using some radio test equipment.  I obtained a "replacement" fob and triggered the truck's alarm that night.

The Result

She ran outside au naturale brandishing a loaded starter's pistol.  The cops showed up, arrested her, gave her a raincoat to wear, and put her in the back of the squad car.  Then her boyfriend for that night went outside and started arguing with the cops, so they stuck him in another squad car.  By this time, there were five police cars and maybe a dozen (?) cops wandering around and asking questions.  One asked me where she lived, and I pointed to the open door next to my apartment.  The smell of marijuana was very strong (this was when possession of marijuana still carried severe penalties).

Long Story, Made Short

The cops found her drug stash, a few stolen weapons, and evidence suggesting she was running a one-woman cat-house.  I never did see her or her boyfriends ever again.  The landlord had to hire one of those crime-scene cleaning crews to refurbish the apartment.  I moved out a few months later.