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Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:13 am

I come to you all on a time need.

I'm half drunk and two days in. I was asked to join my mother and grandmother on this adventure and only now realised they love charity shops and walking extremely slowly. They double down on their slow walking and charity shops in heavily trafficked, confined areas and at times I urgently need a piss.

This is a desperate time for me. I escaped worst of the artillery fire today in a Wetherspoons but still have another two days to go. This is like another repeat of France a few months ago but with less French people and elderly women instead.

How do I survive? I'm on my third pint and considering a fourth. Time is running out and I need advice quickly.



MaxE
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24 Aug 2022, 7:16 am

Nades wrote:
How do I survive? I'm on my third pint and considering a fourth. Time is running out and I need advice quickly.

Thank God Almighty you aren't in France, at least you can manage getting properly pissed in England. Perhaps you should double down.


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Radish
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24 Aug 2022, 7:17 am

Look for some bargains in the charity shops. :P But go for a pee first!


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Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:22 am

Radish wrote:
Look for some bargains in the charity shops. :P But go for a pee first!


I did and a couple took my table. Time is running out.



Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:27 am

MaxE wrote:
Nades wrote:
How do I survive? I'm on my third pint and considering a fourth. Time is running out and I need advice quickly.

Thank God Almighty you aren't in France, at least you can manage getting properly pissed in England. Perhaps you should double down.


Getting properly pissed for me in England is getting lightly tipsy for average English people. I'm a Welsh valleys guy but still can't handle the tidal wave of drunks coming in. They're coming out the cracks in the cobbles now and it's only 1:27pm. They're already looking at me like I'm a lightweight.



Raleigh
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24 Aug 2022, 7:30 am

Set up camp in 'spoons and wait out the charity shopping in there.


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CockneyRebel
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24 Aug 2022, 7:34 am

Britain is a great place for charity shops.


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Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:37 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Britain is a great place for charity shops.


Only now I finally twigged. It's terrible. A true holiday destroyer.



MaxE
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24 Aug 2022, 7:43 am

Are you up for a good row?


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Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:44 am

Raleigh wrote:
Set up camp in 'spoons and wait out the charity shopping in there.


Luckily they close at about 5. Only a few more hours but I fear my mother and grandmother will discover my position.

If I make it until 5 I have to contend with the crap singers in my hotel who plays nothing but 80s karaoke. My room is directly above the speakers and the ramble on until 11pm.



Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 7:47 am

MaxE wrote:
Are you up for a good row?


Yes, I am indeed.



Nades
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24 Aug 2022, 9:02 am

I'm a 5% minimum guy and I'm already on my 5th pint. I'm almost at 3 pm so all hope is not yet lost.

The difficulty of typing this on a phone while barely able to control body functions......



Misslizard
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24 Aug 2022, 10:25 am

You do have some fun adventures.
I got totally trashed once when my daughter forced me to go to the River Market downtown area in Little Rock and drink.I wanted to go see the Toltec mounds instead.She won and I got wasted.I made it back to hotel room alone after she went off with a friend.
I needed to hurl but stepped on my skirt and wound up head butting the toilet tank and breaking it.I had to pay the hotel for it.Had a two day hangover.


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CockneyRebel
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24 Aug 2022, 12:43 pm

What does Torquay mean?


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DanielW
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24 Aug 2022, 12:47 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
What does Torquay mean?


Torquay is the same of a seaside town in Devon, England popular with tourists.



CockneyRebel
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24 Aug 2022, 12:57 pm

DanielW wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
What does Torquay mean?


Torquay is the same of a seaside town in Devon, England popular with tourists.


Thanks for telling me. I've embarrassed myself enough in this thread. I'll just go back to my stalag and listen to my German music.


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