Things I Don't Get
Congratulations on those very big milestones you did make !
That sounds very progressive for a Aspie person. … think I was imitating sounds for almost a year that formed compound sentences . Then I shut up for many years . Just did not speak Even at 5 yrs was not verbal . Then all at once . I would talk in the same compound sentences as I did earlier , but very softly . Between 5-6 had picked up reading very quickly learning Phonetics . And not being given any child’s book that made sense to me. Father introduced me to a set of encyclopedias. About 3-6 months later , asked Father for the rest of the Set,thinking there was something past “Z” … ..He said that was all there was .
That frustrated me .
I self taught myself to read between 36 and 43 months old. I used to say 'Disney Walt' because that was how it was put in the index of the 12 volume Children's encyclopaedia Britannica my parents had bought. I was into reading things in the encyclopaedias from a very young age. I was also quite politically minded from a young age. I have no memory of it, but my father remembers me rushing into the kitchen to tell them news about the Kennedy-Nixon election.
By milestones I mean things like learning to drive, graduating high school, getting a job, going to college, dating and having sex for the first time, getting married and having kids, etc. There's some hyper-functional autistic people that seem to hate other autists who can't easily achieve, or never achieve, all of those things like they are "supposed" to. They have some sort of obsession with being as "normal" as possible, and everyone else who can't pretend to be "normal" like they do just isn't trying hard enough.
I've achieved only a few of those milestones, and was judged for it by the one autistic friend I had.
I've only graduated high school and gotten a job. I almost didn't graduate and it took 2 extra years to do so. I only got and held a job because my aunt vouched for me and they're understaffed. I've driven a bit, but I'm not anywhere near proficient and don't have a license.
I don’t get why people think I'm intimidating.
I start going to a new place like a job or hobby group or whatever. At first I get on fine with people. Then somehow I cross some invisible line and everyone gangs up, starts being nasty to me and tried to undermine and upset me. I don’t understand why this is, so I just stare at them in confusion and continue my daily life. So they eventually give up, looking just as confused as me. It’s like they expected me to retaliate, gather allies and challenge them in some way. But I'm not interested in that sort of thing and wouldn’t know how to do it anyway.
Unfortunately this is usually done by women. It’s happened so, so many times at jobs, and even in the school playground with other mums. I just don’t understand it.
I am very glad I work for myself now and don't have to go into office politics. And glad my daughter is nearly grown up so I don't have to deal with the playground mummy mafia!
_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,790
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
I believe in assisted suicide for elderlies. I don't want to become weak and vulnerable. The thought if becoming old scares me because it's easy to break a bone.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Yes, I think in the future, people will look back in horror and say 'they really made people stay alive even though they were ill, weak, unhappy? That's barbaric.'
At present humans are kept alive in conditions that we wouldn't keep an animal. Animals are humanely put down if they are suffering and won't recover, but humans have to struggle on.
If...IF...the human race survives to the 22nd century, assisted suicide will be normal and accepted by then.
_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.
At present humans are kept alive in conditions that we wouldn't keep an animal. Animals are humanely put down if they are suffering and won't recover, but humans have to struggle on.
If...IF...the human race survives to the 22nd century, assisted suicide will be normal and accepted by then.
I hope this is true, but I do wonder. What I mean is, acceptance of death requires quite a mature state of mind. You have to think about your own death for quite a while before you get there. I think Buddhists meditate on their deaths for this reason. The other time we do it is when we're seriously ill, physically or mentally - these are exceptional times, not the norm at all for most.
One of the functions of religion is to give us a framework for understanding death but in UK culture at least, and other places too I understand, we've pretty much abandoned religion.
So we have a culture where we don't look death in the eye, indeed we avoid thinking about it as much as possible. And that makes it unknown and something to be feared. I don't see that changing in the world we're building at the moment.
So I can't see how we get to a place where assisted suicide is an acceptable policy for any political party to propose. There might never be enough people with a mature enough mindset to support it, unless our attitudes to death change in some significant way.
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Was that really necessary?
I'm not sure. It might take something huge to happen like a serious pandemic, radiation poisoning or whatever, which kills millions of people, to make people come to terms with death and realise assisted dying is necessary.
In the past they had high mortality rates so they were used to death. As you say, we've lost that awareness now.
_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.
We also put our sick away, in homes and hospitals, where we can't see them.
I believe it takes practice. When I got ill once, there was a few weeks where it wasn't clear how ill I was and I had to contemplate the possibility that I wouldn't be around much longer. At first that was terrifying, but after a while I got to a place where I could see my death as quite an unimportant thing. It really didn't matter. It's hard to explain to people, particularly since I had a two year old child at the time and she'd have lost her dad if I'd died and that would be terrible for her and I would miss seeing her growing up but it still would have been okay. It's just something that happens. I got very calm about it, my thoughts were, "Okay, if that's all I get, then that's plenty. I had fun. Thankyou." I can't explain it any better than that. I was in my late 30s so I can imagine that people in their 80s, 90s or higher probably feel that even more than I did.
But here's the thing. I don't feel that way any more. I got better and the calmness slowly went away. I can remember feeling it, the being okay with dying soon, but I can't get back to that place where I felt it. I think you have to visit that place frequently to keep death in perspective and the vast majority of us don't until we get older and our bodies start to fail and our friends and family start to die around us.
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Was that really necessary?
Oddly enough, I do not get why the death concept of death isn’t a more logically understood phenomenon .
Seems lots of Aspies I have met over my life seem to grasp this without having to get old and frail.
If our society valued our aged community better , Am thinking it might be alittle more okay to get that way and
People might see enduring the difficulties of aging and disability as being more tolerable , if a human felt as if they were more worthwhile for their knowledge and experiences. And society could use that knowledge base to create a better future for all of us. Imagine a useful storage place for accumulated wisdom. That was of a more personal nature .
It does seem that we as a species are doomed to repeat our mistakes as a race over and over again.
“ Those whom do not recall their past are doomed to repeat it”
What the hec!… why do we still abuse peoples, engage in Warfare. Spend billions on it . Rip other people off.
As a species ,that does not bode well for anyone .
Guess the ultimate equalizer is death .
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
By milestones I mean things like learning to drive, graduating high school, getting a job, going to college, dating and having sex for the first time, getting married and having kids, etc. There's some hyper-functional autistic people that seem to hate other autists who can't easily achieve, or never achieve, all of those things like they are "supposed" to. They have some sort of obsession with being as "normal" as possible, and everyone else who can't pretend to be "normal" like they do just isn't trying hard enough.
I've achieved only a few of those milestones, and was judged for it by the one autistic friend I had.
I've only graduated high school and gotten a job. I almost didn't graduate and it took 2 extra years to do so. I only got and held a job because my aunt vouched for me and they're understaffed. I've driven a bit, but I'm not anywhere near proficient and don't have a license.
I was at university for four years and still didn't manage to complete my degree.
Yeah, I'm the same with driving - no license. All that multitasking is difficult. I didn't bother pursuing it after failing my test once. Safer for everyone that way.
You go through a lot of hell with your job.
_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis
At present humans are kept alive in conditions that we wouldn't keep an animal. Animals are humanely put down if they are suffering and won't recover, but humans have to struggle on.
If...IF...the human race survives to the 22nd century, assisted suicide will be normal and accepted by then.
I believe in assisted suicide for those with terminal illnesses and those who live in constant pain they can't live a life. I remember being in labor and if I had to live that way for the rest of my life, rest me in peace please.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
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