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Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,979
Location: California,USA

12 Nov 2023, 10:31 pm

I been paying someone to clean my apartment, I’m wondering if someone that cleans for you & she did something wrong & I got freaked out about it or feel like I can’t handle it, is that because of Aspergers? She didn’t know, it wasn’t her fault, I can have a very hard time with NT cleaning people, not just cleaning people, other people too, my landlord (the owner of the apartment building too) my sister, my cousin, people I deal with in the past.


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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

14 Nov 2023, 3:52 pm

It could be because of Asperger’s. Or something else, like anxiety, or perfectionism. But it could be because of Asperger’s.. especially considering it’s not exactly a socially acceptable way to communicate that a mistake was made or something overlooked and you’d like it to be completed.

No matter what the root neurological cause, IMO, the best thing to do is to own your mistake, apologize for it, and move forward trying to be calmer and kinder. Keep it super simple. “Sorry about my outburst. Sometimes I get stressed. I’ll try better not to snap. Thank you for your patience.” And then you can address the cleaning work. “It wasn’t your fault. I forgot to mention that ____ needs to be cleaned. Can we put it on your task list moving forward?”

No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.