Putting myself in serious danger.

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Jamesy
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25 Feb 2024, 2:04 pm

I go out drinking once a week (sometimes twice a week) and the thing is at the end of the night when pubs close I loiter around my town untill the early hours because I want to party and talk to people.

Last night I did the same thing and I am getting really concerned about putting myself in dangerous situations. Generally speaking most people are nice and not violent but one day I might just talk to the wrong person or get assaulted by a gang.

It seems that I am incapable of just leaving and walking home after closing time. You got any advice for me on this?



Mountain Goat
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25 Feb 2024, 2:10 pm

Dont drink?


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Jamesy
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25 Feb 2024, 2:24 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Dont drink?



But I enjoy drinking at the pub with friends.

I am quite a fast drinker and maybe the issue is I have drink to many expresso martinis later on in the evening



blitzkrieg
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25 Feb 2024, 2:26 pm

Instead of walking home, could you not ring a taxi to take you home?



Jamesy
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25 Feb 2024, 2:29 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Instead of walking home, could you not ring a taxi to take you home?



Have not got the money for a taxi and it’s not much an issue of ringing for a job it’s more like alcohol impairs me so I misjudge dangerous situations.

I will tell you something when my parents are not away for the weekend my dad who is 65 constantly rings me up later in the evening offering me a lift home.

Do you think my dad is treating me as if I am a child?



Last edited by Jamesy on 25 Feb 2024, 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
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25 Feb 2024, 2:32 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Instead of walking home, could you not ring a taxi to take you home?



Have not got the money for a taxi

I will tell you something when my parents are not away for the weekend my dad who is 65 constantly rings me up later in the evening offering me a lift home.

Do you think my dad is treating me as if I am a child?


Personally, I would be glad of a lift home, if it wasn't too early to end the night. I suppose that would be the main limitation.



Jamesy
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25 Feb 2024, 2:36 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Instead of walking home, could you not ring a taxi to take you home?



Have not got the money for a taxi

I will tell you something when my parents are not away for the weekend my dad who is 65 constantly rings me up later in the evening offering me a lift home.

Do you think my dad is treating me as if I am a child?


Personally, I would be glad of a lift home, if it wasn't too early to end the night. I suppose that would be the main limitation.



I live in a fairly safe and wealthy town but what do you think the odds are I might get assaulted on the streets if I carry on loitering at night and talking to random club goers? I am the opposite of an angry drunk


Sometimes I feel my dad offers me a lift when it’s to early to end the night as you said.



Mountain Goat
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25 Feb 2024, 2:38 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Dont drink?



But I enjoy drinking at the pub with friends.

I am quite a fast drinker and maybe the issue is I have drink to many expresso martinis later on in the evening


I know... Shame you and your friends can't have get togethers without the drink. That way you will enjoy the friendship without the risk of putting yourself in a potentially vunerable position.


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Jamesy
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25 Feb 2024, 2:41 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Dont drink?



But I enjoy drinking at the pub with friends.

I am quite a fast drinker and maybe the issue is I have drink to many expresso martinis later on in the evening


I know... Shame you and your friends can't have get togethers without the drink. That way you will enjoy the friendship without the risk of putting yourself in a potentially vunerable position.



What are the odds I will get assaulted eventually? I am about 5ft8 and 166 pounds so not a big guy by any means even though I do lift weights.



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25 Feb 2024, 4:14 pm

Even the largest strongest men when drunk can be overpowered by a 5 stone weakling, as alcohol means ones reactions can get severly impared.


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uncommondenominator
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25 Feb 2024, 4:30 pm

Jamesy, according to you, you've already been assaulted once, by those kids that made you take your pants down and took pictures of you. IIRC, it even happened while you were lurking around after-hours, in the exact situation you're worried about here. If a gang of kids with phones aren't afraid of you, a gang of muggers are definitely not going to be afraid of you.

A more accurate question would be, when might you get assaulted AGAIN, or WORSE. If you keep drunkenly wandering around in the dead of night, I suspect you'll find out.

You apparently seem to realize that lurking around late and drunk might put you in trouble or danger (again), but you won't do anything about it, cos you want to keep having "fun". Your dad offers you rides home, but you won't take them, despite the danger, cos you want to keep having "fun".

If your dad is treating you like a child, it's likely cos you're acting like one. Your desire to "party" at the expense of your safety and well-being, or even an "inability" to go home at an appropriate time, rather than exposing yourself to danger, is the act of a child, not a responsible adult.

The advice I'd give is, "make better decisions".



blitzkrieg
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25 Feb 2024, 4:39 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Instead of walking home, could you not ring a taxi to take you home?



Have not got the money for a taxi

I will tell you something when my parents are not away for the weekend my dad who is 65 constantly rings me up later in the evening offering me a lift home.

Do you think my dad is treating me as if I am a child?


Personally, I would be glad of a lift home, if it wasn't too early to end the night. I suppose that would be the main limitation.



I live in a fairly safe and wealthy town but what do you think the odds are I might get assaulted on the streets if I carry on loitering at night and talking to random club goers? I am the opposite of an angry drunk


Sometimes I feel my dad offers me a lift when it’s to early to end the night as you said.


I think the odds are probably unlikely, but still a possibility and even an unlikely possibility is something worth avoiding when possibly your life is at stake.

People die in the situations you describe. You could be another news story in the future.



CockneyRebel
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25 Feb 2024, 10:31 pm

Could you take the bus home?


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goldfish21
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26 Feb 2024, 2:10 am

Very unlikely you’ll get assaulted unless it’s completely random OR you say or do something to provoke it.

If you Like just hanging around and chatting with whoever after the pub closes And you’re not being a jerk to anyone, then I don’t see much harm in it.

I’ve spent time in The Roughest Neighbourhood here around the clock and have been fortunate enough to never have any personal problems nor witness any violence. One time a drug dealer gave me a courteous heads up that the dealers taking over the block for late night could be violent with me for simply being there, so I called it a night and left.

It is Possible to run into trouble.. but in general, even in rough areas it’s still unlikely you’ll be a victim. Just don’t do anything to anger anyone and if warned that trouble is coming; leave.

Alternatively you could set a time that you leave by.. like if it’s pretty chill to hang outside for an hour or so after the pub closes, so that and then leave if things get sketchier the later it gets. Or if you really want to be safer, only stick around if you’re hanging with a friend and then leave together/at the same time so you’re never solo late night. Just depends on the level of potential danger as well as your own ability to assess it and respond to it.

Personally, as long as my symptoms are well under control I’m very high functioning and aware of what’s going on all around me. I’m also 6’2” tall ~225lbs at the moment and have a bit of a long beard - I might look like the type of guy others avoid or wouldn’t want to get rough with. It’s been my experience that almost all of the sketchy people in the roughest neighbourhood are all pretty chill, very few people give off violent vibes. So just depends if you can get along with people pretty good or if you have a tendency to piss people off unintentionally really easily.. then maybe it’s not as safe for you to hang around solo as it is for me to do.


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