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Kitty4670
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05 Apr 2024, 1:26 am

I’m going to a group home, I’m not happy about it, I get to keep my cat. I’m not a social person. I’m having a hard time with this. I will stay until my social worker finds an apartment for me.



kokopelli
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05 Apr 2024, 2:26 am

I figure that some day I will likely have to move into assisted living.

I ate a special lunch at one with my oldest brother's widow on Valentine's Day this year. All in all, it wasn't too bad a lunch, but I wasn't real impressed with their cooking. They served ribeye steak that was greatly overcooked. Is all they know how to do is to cook extra well done?

Overall, though, it didn't look like a bad place to live.

I also visited there about a week ago. I don't know where they got the jigsaw puzzle that they were working on, but it appeared that about 3/4 of the pieces were pretty much the same. It doesn't help that I'm colorblind.

But it is quiet there and that's what I like most. Peace and quiet so that I can read without being interrupted by lots of noise.


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goldfish21
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05 Apr 2024, 11:15 am

Better than living in a homeless shelter or on the street. You'd think you'd be happy about that! You'd also think you'd be happy that you have a social worker looking for an apartment for you. All of that is good news. Much better than what was (or wasn't at all!) arranged before.

Gotta look on the bright side.. living in a group home and getting to keep your cat is WAY better than living in a shelter or on the street and having to give up your cat.


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lostonearth35
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05 Apr 2024, 1:17 pm

I had an awful time living in a group home for people with chronic mental illness in the 90s and I wasn't even diagnosed with Asperger's yet. Virtually no privacy, being surrounded by people who sometimes acted loud and disruptive while having to pretend everything is normal because they can't help because it's their illness, but if I acted the same way they called it an "outburst" and make fill out a report.

Having to get up at the crack of dawn every morning or they'd threaten you with extra chores that the staff normally did themselves because they were the more gross or unpleasant chores, like picking up all the cigarette butts of the ground.
Other people at the home smoked constantly and were used a smoking room but that doesn't matter second hand smoke gets into every part of a house and poisons everyone and everything in it. But the smokers were practically encouraged to do it since nicotine apparently reduces symptoms of schizophrenia. Never mind that the smokers often had terrible lung problems and would be hacking and coughing like they were dying.

While living in the group home I would get a lot of colds and ear infections and I absolutely could not stand having to live with ten other people, because that's how diseases get spread. I don't want to think how things were like over there during covid. Also they'd make you do daily chores even if you were sick or not feeling well. Although we did get a break from chores on Sundays and holidays.

I also feared for my safety at least once because of the violent tendencies of a man who was temporarily staying at the home.

I have never had to stay in a homeless shelter, but sometimes I think I'd rather do that than ever go back to live in a group home. Or just be plain dead. Maybe not all group homes are that bad, but making so many people live together in one place, having your space and need for privacy constantly invaded and your sensory issues overloaded just from being in there is a nightmare. :(



bee33
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05 Apr 2024, 1:23 pm

I'm sorry that it's not ideal, but I hope you can make the best of it and find some comfort and routine there. Best of luck to you.



blitzkrieg
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05 Apr 2024, 1:24 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I had an awful time living in a group home for people with chronic mental illness in the 90s and I wasn't even diagnosed with Asperger's yet. Virtually no privacy, being surrounded by people who sometimes acted loud and disruptive while having to pretend everything is normal because they can't help because it's their illness, but if I acted the same way they called it an "outburst" and make fill out a report.

Having to get up at the crack of dawn every morning or they'd threaten you with extra chores that the staff normally did themselves because they were the more gross or unpleasant chores, like picking up all the cigarette butts of the ground.
Other people at the home smoked constantly and were used a smoking room but that doesn't matter second hand smoke gets into every part of a house and poisons everyone and everything in it. But the smokers were practically encouraged to do it since nicotine apparently reduces symptoms of schizophrenia. Never mind that the smokers often had terrible lung problems and would be hacking and coughing like they were dying.

While living in the group home I would get a lot of colds and ear infections and I absolutely could not stand having to live with ten other people, because that's how diseases get spread. I don't want to think how things were like over there during covid. Also they'd make you do daily chores even if you were sick or not feeling well. Although we did get a break from chores on Sundays and holidays.

I also feared for my safety at least once because of the violent tendencies of a man who was temporarily staying at the home.

I have never had to stay in a homeless shelter, but sometimes I think I'd rather do that than ever go back to live in a group home. Or just be plain dead. Maybe not all group homes are that bad, but making so many people live together in one place, having your space and need for privacy constantly invaded and your sensory issues overloaded just from being in there is a nightmare. :(


Your account of living in a group home sounds awful.

I am sorry you had to endure all of that.



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05 Apr 2024, 2:54 pm

It might not be too bad if you can stay in your room when you want to.

In some ways I'd prefer it to living alone, because I get nasty pangs of loneliness and there's often nothing I can do about it, so if I could go into a common room and talk to people a bit, that would be a relief. But it depends who you get. And noise pollution could be a problem if the sound insulation isn't very good.



goldfish21
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05 Apr 2024, 10:20 pm

^deeeefinitely depends who the roommates are. Could be rather nice, could be a nightmare.. hopefully it’s okay!


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JamesW
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08 Apr 2024, 4:46 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Better than living in a homeless shelter or on the street.


I'm going to disagree. There are plenty of people who have chosen to live on the street because their mental health issues make it impossible for them to live in the group situation which has been offered by social services as the only alternative. The right-wing press in England appallingly talks about them as 'intentionally homeless' people who 'don't want help'.



ocean
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08 Apr 2024, 4:54 am

damn im really sorry about that, Kitty! *hugs*


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JamesW
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08 Apr 2024, 4:56 am

A small part of the reason I chose to pursue a formal diagnosis was with old age in mind.

God willing, if I'm still around in 20 (or fewer) years time, chances are I will need some kind of assisted living arrangement. The typical situation in England is a communal home with communal living, communal eating, and plenty of socialising and group activities to 'keep one stimulated'. I've now got an official medical piece of paper that says I'm autistic, and therefore implies 'In James' case, this is not likely to work out particularly well.'



Kitty4670
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08 Apr 2024, 5:13 pm

I moved to a group home yesterday, I hated it. Yesterday after I moved in, they forced me take a shower, I needed to be with my cat, they wouldn’t let me, my cat been in her carrier for alot of hours, after that, I got toooo overwhelmed, my brain shut off for awhile, I was starting at floor, I couldn’t move. After I took my cat out of her carrier, she got very upset, scratching & hissing, she was hissing at me. Today she still upset. One of the staff wants me to socialize then more staff people came, I got little overwhelmed, I went to my room, I had anxiety, I was crying, I had little meltdown.



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08 Apr 2024, 6:16 pm

^
Dammit, an authoritarian management. :( Hope there's no permanent damage and that you find coping strategies to ease the problem.