LIES!! !

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it became necessary to flee Her Majesty's Merchant Navy after the disasterous results which unfolded very quickly after an unfortunate flick of a rubber band in a seedy portside tavern in Malaysia. after a few adventures (which i might relate at another time) i ended up in darkest Brazil, where i sought fame and fortune as a sorceror, after the indigenous traditions. a twenty foot high statue of me still stands in the center of Melquiades da Cruz, commemorating the time i saved the village from an invading army of fire ants armed only with a half-empty spray bottle of glass cleaner and a plastic spoon.

I am ret*d
I bang my head
I'm mute
I have no opinions of my own
I have a wet nurse come visit me, three times a day
I eat my own snot, and the greener, the better
I live in Broadmore
I eat my own s**t

Lies that my imagination told me topic

I am neurotypical

I can prove I am neurotypical

I can prove I do not live on the Autism Spectrum.

I'm still an innocent Mod who has a Beatle haircut and wears velvet.

I believe the urban legend that has arisen around
the song "In the Air Tonight."

I believe that Brittany Spears could possibly be insane for no reason, and that her sister is running for president next year.

I believe Taco Bell ended its ad campaign because the dog ran off and was never seen again.

I also believe The Subway Guy is HIV-positive and has resigned his post.

Three of the children at the Judge Rotenberg Center are teenagers captured in Iraq, one of them shot two classmates dead, one of them slit his parents' throats in their sleep and one microwaved a cat to death.

(In joke)

My mother and I lived in an abandoned hospital for about a month when I was 9.

I feel I diserved, and didn't ask for way too often, a surprise party full of strangers from church when I was 14. I think that my surprise expression wasn't Aspie and fake in the slightest, and that people enjoyed my company. ( )

I believe Bert and Ernie are gay and if this is true,
they will be the longest running joke on TV.

When I was 9 and living in the abandoned West Middlesex Hospital with my mother, we met a homeless guy who had been camping out there for 3 months and we walked the halls together, exploring. We saw the operating room, the morgue, bedrooms, treatment rooms, hallways, boilers, everything. We slept in the morgue because it was the cleanest and least falling-apart area... we cleaned the three autopsy tables with bottles of iodine we found and slept on them. My mother got a disposable camera and took pictures of ourselves and each other in the morgue. It was a cool keepsake. We were in the dollar store one day and I found a little album and pointed it out to my mother and we bought it and put the pitures in it! The three of us hung out for almost a month; we had met him on our second day there, in a hallway.

I hate CockneyRebel's avatar, think he's not very cute, and seldomly notice it.

Roger Bannister is only a passing fancy.

I can drive a car.

I am not overcome by nerves in crucial situations.

I am completely normal.

I have only a mild fascination with cats. (Ha, ha!)