Which is better - relatively speaking?

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grinningcat
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25 Jul 2008, 9:35 am

Being yelled at for a goof up, or dealing with "quiet disappointment"?

Today I may or may not have to deliver some bad news to a boss. He tends to be a "quiet disappointment" kind of guy and I find that somehow worse than the other boss who rants and raves if something goes wrong - maybe because I can tell when the latter is angry, but quiet disappointment I can't tell if he is more angry with me or with the situation (it compounds things because this individual always kindly lets me finish sentences and stories, and seems to understand what I am saying when others are interrupting and "helping" me finish up, sigh, so I feel like I am letting him down on a lot of levels). What ticks me off most is the mistake isn't even mine (although good luck getting the party who initiated the mistake to admit it), but since I am the last in the chain in this particular scenario, guess who gets to give the bad news, and also who is the least able to answer the inevitable "why did this happen" interrogations to follow.

Maybe that is the worst - having to explain :( Fingers crossed that there is a deus ex machina in place by the time I get to work...


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Trigger11
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25 Jul 2008, 9:50 am

I don't take to being yelled at, especially for other people's mistakes, so I'd prefer the quiet boss. Good luck today. I hope it all goes well.


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Aurore
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25 Jul 2008, 11:56 am

In terms of physical immediate discomfort, the yelling boss would be worse.
But in terms of it plaguing me over time, the quiet boss would be less pleasant.
Whenever someone I respect is 'disappointed' in me I find it far worse psychologically than when someone I don't respect is really angry at me.


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tomboy4good
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25 Jul 2008, 12:24 pm

People who yell are the worst! They take a bad situation & instead of working things out logically to correct it, they just exacerbate it.

Good luck to you!



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25 Jul 2008, 1:22 pm

Haha, this is a tough one. My first boss was so dang understanding, and I really hated it when I screwed up. The boss I have now "tries" to keep things quiet, but prefers to make "indirect" comments which makes me feel a bit angry, as it shows lack of respect. I'd rather have the yelling boss, as he's got to get things off his chest, and I'd rather know what he's on about. At the "moment" of yelling, I'd rather not go through it, but afterward it's a lot better when things are taken care of. I just got yelled at today as a matter of fact, pissed me off so much, but in the end things are better as there's nothing left in the air to linger.


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