Men are so lucky (pregnancy)

Post Reply New Topic

I think my ability to have babies and feed them is a kind of superpower! Granted, all female mammals have this superpower -- it's not an exclusive superpower.

That being said, in my experience parenting is MUCH harder than pregnancy. And I didn't have easy pregnancies. Parenting is so difficult. Kids always need something. I didn't know how many "sensory breaks" I took every day until I couldn't do them anymore. And having two kids talk to you for hours simultaneously is sensory overload. I love my kids so much, but I'm not wired to handle this!

It would be easier to take if society said, "wow, she's really trying her best being a mom given her autism" but nobody cares about me or my autism. My ex certainly doesn't care. I'm supposed to mask (hide my autism), shut up, and somehow convince these two other sentient beings to behave appropriately and do academic work. And if they don't, it's because I suck as a mom.

Ladies, pregnancy is always a risk. Always. Even if you're perfectly healthy, have had a problem free pregnancy so far and have access to good medical care for the delivery, something can still go wrong. Of course, the risks are significantly lower for those who are healthy than those who are not, but they are there.

I think that men who are in relationships with women and want children have a huge advantage over the said women when it comes to having children since, thanks to biology, the woman has to do all the work when it comes to making the child and the man couldn't do a thing even if he would want to. On the other hand, single women have an advantage over single men if they want children, for men can only adopt, but women also have, in theory at the very least, the option of assisted reproduction on their own since it's their bodies that will do the work. Men can't do it 'cause, well, they're men. It's biology. This is why I'm glad to be woman since I'm seriously considering this option in case I don't find anyone by the time I'm thirty.

So many women I know have had long-term changes to the body because of being pregnant. My mum was lucky, as she had no birth complications during both her pregnancies, although she did feel very sick when she was pregnant with me. She had an easier labour when giving birth to me than she did my brother, and when she was giving birth to him she kept puking.

The reason I'm on the contraceptive pill is because I couldn't handle the cramps I had with my periods every month. It was severe, to the point where I was laid up in bed, trying my hardest not to spew up from the pain. I became immune to pain-killers because I was taking them for like 7 days each month (my periods were usually long, like 9-10 days, and the pains were actually worse towards the end of the period). My periods weren't as heavy as other girls' though.
And I heard labour pains is like one big mega period pain, also I heard your pelvis breaks or something when giving birth, or can break, I don't know.

I do know that giving birth is extremely painful, and I have low pain tolerance. PAP tests are a nightmare for me. It's like even if they use jelly or something to insert the thing, it still feels like my vagina immediately dries all up and closes.
Just imagine if someone shoved their fist into your mouth and down your throat, how painful it would be - that's how a PAP (smear) test feels for me. It feels like my bladder is being pierced open by rusty blades, and spreading my legs apart during a PAP test is just terrifying.

Please, when I first had sex it was so PAINFUL that I don't think I want anything to be inserted up there again (my boyfriend has a low sex drive so isn't bothered about vaginal sex), but with my first boyfriend the sex was mega excruciating.
This next bit is TMI and you don't need to read if you don't want to, but I really need to tell people here how it felt.

I know that, but then I get jealous of my cousins for getting pregnant and having babies. One cousin in particular, the one I compare myself to the most, is going to announce that she's pregnant at any time now, and I keep really secretly hoping that she'll change her mind and decide not to have one (she's 32). I can't explain why, I just can't imagine her having a kid is all, but like I said I can't describe why exactly.

Comparing ourselves to others is practically never healthy and it's particularily strong source of problems for neurodiverse people.

Each of us is unique. It's not bad, it's beautiful and healthy for the humanity as a whole.

I know, I do have a habit of comparing myself to my peers, I have done ever since I was a child and I don't know how to stop. I get jealous and feel like a hopeless loser compared to them.

I know, I do have a habit of comparing myself to my peers, I have done ever since I was a child and I don't know how to stop. I get jealous and feel like a hopeless loser compared to them.

Having children doesn’t make someone less of a hopeless loser. Some people’s kids are a nightmare.

Having children doesn’t make someone less of a hopeless loser. Some people’s kids are a nightmare.

Having children doesn’t make someone less of a hopeless loser. Some people’s kids are a nightmare.

That’s not very nice to hope that she wouldn’t have kids just cause you’re jealous. Should be happy for her. Why shouldn’t she have kids if she’s able and willing to ?

Yes well why do I need to be nice all the time? Anyway she doesn't know how I feel about her anyway. I'm not stopping her. I just know that I'll probably have a mini breakdown if and when she announces she's pregnant, then when I'm over it I'll just have to be all happy for her. Her plan is only to have a brat so that she can claim child benefits and not have to go to work, but have her mother there to look after it so that she and her boyfriend can go out to their gigs and clubs and drinking that they love doing. I can definitely see that happening, because I know my cousin more than anyone here does.

Yes well why do I need to be nice all the time? Anyway she doesn't know how I feel about her anyway. I'm not stopping her. I just know that I'll probably have a mini breakdown if and when she announces she's pregnant, then when I'm over it I'll just have to be all happy for her. Her plan is only to have a brat so that she can claim child benefits and not have to go to work, but have her mother there to look after it so that she and her boyfriend can go out to their gigs and clubs and drinking that they love doing. I can definitely see that happening, because I know my cousin more than anyone here does.

Yes well why do I need to be nice all the time? Anyway she doesn't know how I feel about her anyway. I'm not stopping her. I just know that I'll probably have a mini breakdown if and when she announces she's pregnant, then when I'm over it I'll just have to be all happy for her. Her plan is only to have a brat so that she can claim child benefits and not have to go to work, but have her mother there to look after it so that she and her boyfriend can go out to their gigs and clubs and drinking that they love doing. I can definitely see that happening, because I know my cousin more than anyone here does.

The problem with laying an egg is who would sit on it until it hatched?

Eh it’s not about being nice. It’s about hating people for invalid reasons. Jealousy is so ugly.