Do you WANT to be (physically) attractive?

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Yes 72%  72%  [ 79 ]
No 28%  28%  [ 31 ]
Total votes : 110

Erisad
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10 Sep 2010, 5:30 pm

Lol. I think we might be sharing a wavelength here. ^_^



katzefrau
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10 Sep 2010, 10:25 pm

menintights wrote:
Image

The joke here is supposed to be straightforward: the Hooters girls are hot, the feminist is not--and so no wonder she's a feminist. What struck me as odd was how the faces of the two Hooters girls and the feminist rate about the same on the attractiveness scale (I'd say 7/10--which is above average but which still isn't good enough for many people), and how the thinner-than-average feminist probably could've been considered "hotter" than the Hooters girls if she'd slapped on some makeup and wore the right clothes and the right hairstyle. So apparently, what makes a woman attractive in the eye of most people has less to do with how she naturally looks like than with how much effort she's put into looking like how everyone wants her to. :?


well said.

i love her!!
i know the joke is supposed to be on her but she is the only intelligent thing in the photo.


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ebec11
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10 Sep 2010, 11:59 pm

I feel that I am physically attractive, so I don't want to be so.
I want to be attractive to others, and that requires a sexuality that I do not have a grasp on yet (I always seem clueless, innocent, or funny to others, ugh!) as well as a bit more confidence in public (My anxieties towards noise/touch make it hard to show my confidence to others)



Bethie
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14 Sep 2010, 2:32 pm

ScratchMonkey wrote:
Like it or not, guys are wired to look at physical characteristics first.


I guess I know a lot of liars, huh?

:roll:


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mechanicalgirl39
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14 Sep 2010, 2:35 pm

Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.


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bee33
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14 Sep 2010, 3:32 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.

If that were true then no ugly people would be married, and that's clearly not the case. To be honest, I don't think anyone is actually ugly. Different people have different characteristics, and everyone has some appeal to someone. Personally, I don't require a handsome boyfriend, just someone that I like as a person and whom I find attractive in his own way.



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14 Sep 2010, 4:05 pm

bee33 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.

If that were true then no ugly people would be married, and that's clearly not the case. To be honest, I don't think anyone is actually ugly. Different people have different characteristics, and everyone has some appeal to someone. Personally, I don't require a handsome boyfriend, just someone that I like as a person and whom I find attractive in his own way.
yes, i completely agree. i don't put people into categories like that. i don't ever consider people incredibly handsome or beautiful either... it's all so arbitrary and such a useless way to sort people.

i think of many, many other qualities to be attractive, regardless of appearance. if i made a list describing the people i dated and/or slept with in the past, it would be tough to find any defining physical patterns, much less a certain level of stereotypical physical 'attractiveness' amongst the group.

outward beauty/handsomeness doesn't stick around for any of us, but decency/thoughtfulness/intelligence/humour/et al. just might....


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Erisad
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14 Sep 2010, 4:14 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
bee33 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.

If that were true then no ugly people would be married, and that's clearly not the case. To be honest, I don't think anyone is actually ugly. Different people have different characteristics, and everyone has some appeal to someone. Personally, I don't require a handsome boyfriend, just someone that I like as a person and whom I find attractive in his own way.
yes, i completely agree. i don't put people into categories like that. i don't ever consider people incredibly handsome or beautiful either... it's all so arbitrary and such a useless way to sort people.

i think of many, many other qualities to be attractive, regardless of appearance. if i made a list describing the people i dated and/or slept with in the past, it would be tough to find any defining physical patterns, much less a certain level of stereotypical physical 'attractiveness' amongst the group.

outward beauty/handsomeness doesn't stick around for any of us, but decency/thoughtfulness/intelligence/humour/et al. just might....


To be honest, I don't notice how good-looking someone is until I get to know them first. So when a friend's like "OMG! Look at that hot guy!" I have no reaction to it apart from, "Yup. Looks like a man all right." XD

So if the hottest man ever would to approach me, I wouldn't be affected by that. He could be a complete prick for all I know, which would render all those lovely aesthetic features useless. :D



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14 Sep 2010, 4:25 pm

I want to be, strive to be, and am attractive (generally speaking) because after a life of being pretty-faced only but ill dressed and not at all possessing any concept of sexual or physical attractiveness, I sort of combatted that with studying WHY I should be physically attractive.

As said above, males are hard-wired to look at appearances first to determine the best mate that will give them good offspring. Women do too! Men with an upside-down triangle torso-shape (the kind associated with muscle) is objectively, through studies, the most attractive to females in general while the circular shape is the least attractive. For men, the hour-glass shape is the most attractive, followed by the. . . pear shape? Either way, the point is that there are objective aspects of attraction that can be measured by public polls. In one "double-blind" study (I make a joke because:), they took babies and pictures of faces, and exaggerated the asymmetry of a face in one shot on one side, and kept it regular in another (or fixed any existing asymmetry existing already), and allowed the babies to choose which face they were more attracted to (presumably by reaching in that direction or grabbing for it), and every baby went for the symmetrical face (joke: babies can't know they're in a study).

That being said, they did public sorts of polls by taking those same pictures and posting them on public walls, allowing crowds to gather around and make comments on video about who they thought was more attractive between a set of "twins" (they told them; another double-blind study), and adults also always picked the symmetrical face (the asymmetrical adjustments were never unrealistic or jarring, it was just 'something' they couldn't put a finger on).

After watching a TON of What not to Wear on TLC, I also realized that there are objective rules to dressing that will compliment a body style by color and shape and fit and style. When it became a process I could break down piece by piece and understand with a sort of more scientific approach, it was easier for me to achieve that attractiveness (I keep my nails in good shape, get my hair styled and colored, wear light amounts of makeup, and try to dress well when I go out [t-shirt and jeans right now, though!]. It doesn't come naturally to me to do these rituals unless I'm prompted to go out, where I have to think about it. So no, certainly not a natural thing for me. I can do superficial flirting that I've practiced through reading articles. I try my best, in that sense, to blend in. But when it comes to the actual conversation part of flirting--- oh yes, I faaaaail. I can do it in appearances, not speaking or interacting.



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14 Sep 2010, 5:36 pm

Erisad wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
bee33 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.

If that were true then no ugly people would be married, and that's clearly not the case. To be honest, I don't think anyone is actually ugly. Different people have different characteristics, and everyone has some appeal to someone. Personally, I don't require a handsome boyfriend, just someone that I like as a person and whom I find attractive in his own way.
yes, i completely agree. i don't put people into categories like that. i don't ever consider people incredibly handsome or beautiful either... it's all so arbitrary and such a useless way to sort people.

i think of many, many other qualities to be attractive, regardless of appearance. if i made a list describing the people i dated and/or slept with in the past, it would be tough to find any defining physical patterns, much less a certain level of stereotypical physical 'attractiveness' amongst the group.

outward beauty/handsomeness doesn't stick around for any of us, but decency/thoughtfulness/intelligence/humour/et al. just might....


To be honest, I don't notice how good-looking someone is until I get to know them first. So when a friend's like "OMG! Look at that hot guy!" I have no reaction to it apart from, "Yup. Looks like a man all right." XD

So if the hottest man ever would to approach me, I wouldn't be affected by that. He could be a complete prick for all I know, which would render all those lovely aesthetic features useless. :D


I completely agree, as usual. I can honestly say aesthetics play NO part in my attraction. This is of course a hypothetical, but if I found someone who shared my passions, was understanding of my Aspergers, and loved me, I wouldn't care if they had a hair lip, psoriasis and a club foot.


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Erisad
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14 Sep 2010, 7:40 pm

Bethie wrote:
Erisad wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
bee33 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Isn't everyone required to look for physical attractiveness first? Let's be honest, women don't want a boyfriend who's ugly no matter how nice he is.

If that were true then no ugly people would be married, and that's clearly not the case. To be honest, I don't think anyone is actually ugly. Different people have different characteristics, and everyone has some appeal to someone. Personally, I don't require a handsome boyfriend, just someone that I like as a person and whom I find attractive in his own way.
yes, i completely agree. i don't put people into categories like that. i don't ever consider people incredibly handsome or beautiful either... it's all so arbitrary and such a useless way to sort people.

i think of many, many other qualities to be attractive, regardless of appearance. if i made a list describing the people i dated and/or slept with in the past, it would be tough to find any defining physical patterns, much less a certain level of stereotypical physical 'attractiveness' amongst the group.

outward beauty/handsomeness doesn't stick around for any of us, but decency/thoughtfulness/intelligence/humour/et al. just might....


To be honest, I don't notice how good-looking someone is until I get to know them first. So when a friend's like "OMG! Look at that hot guy!" I have no reaction to it apart from, "Yup. Looks like a man all right." XD

So if the hottest man ever would to approach me, I wouldn't be affected by that. He could be a complete prick for all I know, which would render all those lovely aesthetic features useless. :D


I completely agree, as usual. I can honestly say aesthetics play NO part in my attraction. This is of course a hypothetical, but if I found someone who shared my passions, was understanding of my Aspergers, and loved me, I wouldn't care if they had a hair lip, psoriasis and a club foot.


Pretty much. XD



OneStepBeyond
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14 Sep 2010, 7:51 pm

menintights wrote:
I also found a picture yesterday that I thought was interesting:
Image

The joke here is supposed to be straightforward: the Hooters girls are hot, the feminist is not--and so no wonder she's a feminist. What struck me as odd was how the faces of the two Hooters girls and the feminist rate about the same on the attractiveness scale (I'd say 7/10--which is above average but which still isn't good enough for many people), and how the thinner-than-average feminist probably could've been considered "hotter" than the Hooters girls if she'd slapped on some makeup and wore the right clothes and the right hairstyle. So apparently, what makes a woman attractive in the eye of most people has less to do with how she naturally looks like than with how much effort she's put into looking like how everyone wants her to. :?


eh :? I don't think thats supposed to be the joke at all



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19 Sep 2010, 5:53 pm

katzefrau wrote:
and if you're single and decent looking (especially if you're independent - or if you're asocial) other women are threatened by you - you are like a vulture, eyeing their boyfriends (and if the boyfriends like you, it is your fault, not his fault). have a sexy body too? then you must be available for easy sex.

My God, yes! I have never considered myself outstanding in the looks department, but my boyfriend says that on a scale of 1 to 10, (1 being ugly and 10 being gorgeous) I am a 7. That being said, I have been harassed since I was 12. I found beauty to be a burden, where I was constantly hit on by older men, married men, or pedophiles even. And whenever I tried to join a church or something, the married women perceived me as a threat. I wanted to scream at them, "Yes, I want a man, but not YOURS! Also, I when I went through an asexual period, my counselor found it hard to believe that I wasn't interested in sex. She seemed to equate attractiveness with sexual drive. :roll:
katzefrau wrote:
so i can only see this through the filter of my own experience but i don't know why someone would want to look like a model or have a perfect body. all it would do is draw the focus away from who you are.

I have been burned so many times by thinking that I was making friends, only to discover that the person in question was just hoping that I was warming up to sleep with them. :?
katzefrau wrote:
one more thing. if you're single you always have to have an explanation for it. the assumption is it's your choice. you must be able to get anyone you want. (even if in reality they only want you out of curiosity, but don't really want you after that - a situation i have been suckered into so many times, i just can't read the signs)

Same here. Worse, when I was a single parent, working full time, I didn't date. For some reason, people thought I was gay. 8O


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silvercat
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20 Sep 2010, 1:58 pm

I always try to be as physically attractive as possible, it is one of my special interests.



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20 Sep 2010, 2:02 pm

silvercat wrote:
I always try to be as physically attractive as possible, it is one of my special interests.


You and me both :D



Davideus85
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23 Sep 2020, 12:10 am

This question confuses me. Why on earth would anyone NOT want to be physically attractive?