Is there even a point to living if you're ugly?

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Lets form a Fuglies Unite society

I don't want to insult your intelligence. When people tiptoe around the truth, nobody gets a solution. So, let's be brutally honest instead. I don't care if I'm labeled mysogynist or other kneejerk PC crap.

If you have a face generally considered unattractive, fixing it requires plastic surgery, which is expensive, scary, and results of which may not last(?).

But, the body doesn't require plastic surgery. It requires proper diet and exercise. If you have an unattractive face, the body can offset the overall image and make you "quirky/exotic looking" instead of "ugly". Let's not forget that getting the body in proper shape affects how the face itself looks, as well.

Cared-for body+positive attitude can dramatically improve how you appear to others.

Well people may think personality is pointless, but it isn't. Yeah, maybe it is in a world of people who are very spiritually un-advanced. Which sadly, is the case a lot of the time, but these souls will learn in due time. We all are a bit like that.. really.

I am one of those people who cares about what I look like, pretty much only to be able to cope with the sexist world of today.

Your best bet if you think there is no hope for you living is find something to believe in. It can make all the difference. If you can't do that, you could talk to your doctor about whether you need meds for depression.

I would also like to establish why you think you're ugly?

zee- that really sucks what happened to you. I know exactly how that feels because of the incident that encouraged me to post here as well. The male teacher that only gives good grades to the hot chicks. I used to have A's in that subject because we had a nonbiased(nonlesbian) female teacher that didn't care how attractive you were. Those are the kind of teachers that see how talented I am, the males and lesbians never do because they're too blinded by the hot blondes. I mean, I got a C in a subject and there was this other blonde chick with more mistakes than me last year who just whined about it a little to another male teacher and boom! She got an A from the male teacher. And of course I can't talk to anyone about it, it's not that type of school and ours is not that kind of country.
monsterland- I have no cash for plastic surgery. My body is ideal weight and really nothing to complain about. I do work out, I dance and sometimes lift a little in the gym. Does wonders for the stress. Positive attitude I've got but the males always seem to shoot that down rather fast. I'm definately collecting some plastic surgery money for the future though.
I am not really dissatisfied with my appearance, it doesn't bother ME, it's all the males around me that insist on discriminating against me because of it that's my problem.

it is amazing to think that your existence traces back through your parents and grandparents and great grandparents and....... all the way back to the "primordial soup" about 3.6 billion years ago.

if there was any failure to mate in any generation that is in your eternal heritage, then you would not be here.

"family trees" have millions or even billions of subdivisions back to the trunk, and if you are the last in your evolutionary line, then you are like the flower at the end of your branch of evolution that has grown more diverse for 3.5 billions years .
flowers do not subdivide and sprout further growth, and they do not propagate any offspring if they are not pollinated.

if a flower is left alone, it drops to the ground and the family tree it was a part of never grows any further in your direction.

every life form is a relative of each other, and if you are not pollinated then you will never become the fruit who bears the seeds that will extend your line of genetic evolution.
how sad.

none of your forefathers all the way back to the primordial soup failed to reproduce, so if you do fail then you are the flower at the end of the evolutionary tree that was left alone.

whatever i am not thinking in human language at the moment so that is all.

Maybe not so rare but men are more likely to go the other way and try to become muscular rather than thin.

There are quite a lot who don't seem to realise that they have become "too big" and are damaging their health getting that way.

What helps is that exercising seems to create a "natural high" that improves confidence and self esteem even before any physical effects are visible. So guys are likely to feel happier about themselves before they reach the level of extreme muscle mass.

But yes it's true. Men generally don't feel the need to be good looking as much as women do.

If you are "not really dissatisfied with my appearance" then I really don't think that you should waste money on plastic surgery.
If the real problem is other people then maybe the money would be better spent moving somewhere else.

Sinsboldly; (I love your name, btw) it's true that male body image problems are a bit rarer, but I'd speculate that the last few years has seen a vast increase in men with such disorders, and that the problems will become a bit more visible in times to come. I myself have had considerable body image problems that are mostly under control now, but can resurface occasionally.

BigK, good post! I think some people call that male response to body image problems 'Manorexia'. I have a friend (who is now living as a woman, but that's a different story) who had that, and she suffers many physical ailments from all the weight lifting, steroids, and liver abuse that comes from overeating and excessive nutritional supplement use.

Move where? There are males and lesbians everywhere on the planet. I live in the biggest city of my country and I've been around people enough to know that this goes on EVERYWHERE. It's a matter of human nature, not location.

I think it is how you framed the topic. By framing the topic in terms of "is it even worth living if you are not beautiful" you are setting yourself up for a particular exchange. If you framed it as "I am sick of the discrimination because of my looks" you would have gotten more of the responses you were looking for.

This is called framing the debate. You came off as extremely depressed, maybe even suicidal, which makes people want to encourage you life is worth living, inner beauty etc. When it got down to it, you are sick of the discrimination, which you have every right to be.

With that being said, you are right, women are treated very differently based upon thier looks. I am not saying that one has to be incredibly pretty, but there is without question a threshold which is there. I also realize that it is not based upon how you "make yourself up". I skate by rather easily without wearing makeup and while I might not be super-attractive, I am attractive enough, in other words, I meet the threshold. With that being said, guys don't need to look attractive to succeed, women it is practically a requirement. I will say, I don't like the attention I get either, how good you look is very much a double edge sword.

I think you are right about thinking about cosmetic surgery. Those who dismiss it do not realize how important asthetics is for a woman's career. It doesn't have to be over the top. It is a sad reality, but it is reality, and I am not going to discourage you. I have known women who did have it, and yes even a minor tweak can make a world of difference.

With that being said, as much as I hate suggesting financing something through debt, this is one thing where in the long run it could be worthwhile. The very fact is it sounds like it is holding you back in terms of earning potential.


So how is that for a realistic viewpoint.

It might go on everywhere but not to the extent that you suggest. I have been removed from work sites because the client wanted a worker who is white. It happens. But not to extent that I cannot get work. Or to the extent that I cannot well paid work.

The world may be full of "males and lesbians" that doesn't mean that they would ALL choose someone ahead of you just because of that person's looks.

In my opinion a vague "air of aspiness" is likely to have a bigger impact on someone's employment prospects than their looks, race, gender etc. Check the threads on the percentage of aspies in employment.

Times are hard Bluerose. Many companies cannot afford to hire anyone. When they can they need to hire someone who can do a good job and make the company money. They are not going to hire someone just because the boss they're pretty. (Well, OK, some might )

I can honestly say the companies that I have spent most of the last 20 years working for have not hired or turned down anyone based on their looks. I have been involved in the hiring process for 10+ years.
We are a small company and probably not the kind of place you are looking for but I am just making the point that it is not 100% of people who will make a big deal out of this.

If you are good at what you do and can make a company money someone will give you a chance.

I know this is tangential, but fashion was a special interest of mine for a while and anorexia is connected to it. The first recorded cases occurred in England and France in the late 1700s and early 1800s (after profound shifts among male social values and therefore dress) among the male followers of Beau Brummel, the founder of dandyism. It really became an issue with women later in the 20th century. Neat-o dorit-o.

This is where we discuss women's issues!

That teacher is an idiot, but it's very probable that it will get back to him, though. Are you sure there's no one to complain to, have you asked other's opinions?

I have zero male friends IRL and I am not ugly.

I haven't really asked anyone but I know people have noticed or seen it happen but they haven't said anything about it. I think all the teachers know but they don't really care. And why should they, it's not their grades that are affected and they probably also have favourites of their own. I don't exactly go to a great school, just a crappy public school with crappy teachers so I doubt anyone would bother to check it out, esspecially if I'm the only one complaining, I'll probably only come across as a whiner. Also, the principal is male.