Is there even a point to living if you're ugly?

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zee
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30 Mar 2010, 10:50 am

Just because the principal is male, doesn't mean he will act the same way as the teacher. If you just write down the specifics, like why you're getting such low grades now when you used to get A's, then it won't look like whining... you are just trying to get better grades. If you know for sure that a girl who made more mistakes than you got a higher grade, then mention that too... but I wouldn't accuse him of being sexist, that makes you look like you're attacking the teacher, even though it might be true.



hale_bopp
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30 Mar 2010, 5:34 pm

Instead of comparing your grades to other peoples and why they got that, concentrate on your own, stand up for yourself and do something about it if you feel a teacher gave you an unfair mark. Education is critical to get into some universities and they need to be professional about it.

If you can't get through to the teacher, go to the top. You aren't a whiner, its your right.

Also it seems like you've had bad experiences with males, often though its very hard to pick up if someone actually likes you.

I have been bullied by men and boys about my looks all my life - you have to understand because people do this - it DOESN'T have to mean you're ugly. Looks aren't everything either, if you can find a purpose, do something for nothing, show the world that you're a good person.

I don't have a ridiculous amount of male friends either, but not having male friends doesnt mean you're ugly.



bluerose
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31 Mar 2010, 9:45 am

Well, I have asked about grades and about not agreeing with them but the teachers in this school get a lot of leeway and it's not like there is some sort of general guideline or law for them. There isn't, or at least from what one teacher said, as long as we don't have zero mistakes and get below an A grade(obvious mistake) there isn't much you can do.
It's depressing to know that this is something that I'll be facing always, whereever I go and I'm not even talking about personal relationships but something that I should be able to control.



zee
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31 Mar 2010, 11:06 am

Are you in high school still or college? Some teachers don't care, but most do. It's not a particularly high-paying job, and there's lots of hours, so most people willing to teach really care about what they do and encouraging students to do their best.
Could you transfer to another class with a female teacher if this one guy is such a jerk?



bluerose
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31 Mar 2010, 4:47 pm

I'm in high school. I could transfer classes next year but I actually really like some of the female teachers I have now. As an aspie it's easier to keep going if I know there are at least some people I'll get along with. Also, there are male teachers in other subjects as well for other classes. I highly doubt it's just him, I get different treatment from males whereever I go, so chances are any other male teachers I'll encouter it'll be the same story over again.



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20 Apr 2010, 11:53 pm

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.



hartzofspace
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22 Apr 2010, 5:48 pm

I have an interesting story to share, about perceived ugliness. I used to live in the
Northeastern part of the U.S. I spent many years as a single mom, alone. Nobody
wanted to date me, and if I asked a guy out, I either got treated like a slut, or politely
turned down. I began to firmly believe that I must be the ugliest thing around, and
began to think about plastic surgery, etc. An obvious part of the problem, I believe,
was that I was a multi-cultural woman of color, surrounded by a certain standard of beauty;
Caucasian, blond hair, blue eyes. When I moved to the South, an amazing thing
happened. I began getting compliments. Men were showing interest; both black and white,
even other cultures.
Suddenly, I was gorgeous. It made no sense to me, since I was the exact same
person I had always been, even older than when I had spent all those years in
the Northeast, and wanting so badly to be in a relationship. My take on this, is that
it may have taken a change of location, to a different mix of cultures and attitudes to
change my situation.


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zee
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22 Apr 2010, 9:20 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I have an interesting story to share, about perceived ugliness. I used to live in the
Northeastern part of the U.S. I spent many years as a single mom, alone. Nobody
wanted to date me, and if I asked a guy out, I either got treated like a slut, or politely
turned down. I began to firmly believe that I must be the ugliest thing around, and
began to think about plastic surgery, etc. An obvious part of the problem, I believe,
was that I was a multi-cultural woman of color, surrounded by a certain standard of beauty;
Caucasian, blond hair, blue eyes. When I moved to the South, an amazing thing
happened. I began getting compliments. Men were showing interest; both black and white,
even other cultures.
Suddenly, I was gorgeous. It made no sense to me, since I was the exact same
person I had always been, even older than when I had spent all those years in
the Northeast, and wanting so badly to be in a relationship. My take on this, is that
it may have taken a change of location, to a different mix of cultures and attitudes to
change my situation.


I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but most men don't seem to want to be involved with single mothers. Could this be part of it? Although I don't understand why things changed so suddenly when you went south, that's weird. Maybe you were just happier to be surrounded by happy people?



hartzofspace
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22 Apr 2010, 10:34 pm

zee wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
I have an interesting story to share, about perceived ugliness. I used to live in the
Northeastern part of the U.S. I spent many years as a single mom, alone. Nobody
wanted to date me, and if I asked a guy out, I either got treated like a slut, or politely
turned down. I began to firmly believe that I must be the ugliest thing around, and
began to think about plastic surgery, etc. An obvious part of the problem, I believe,
was that I was a multi-cultural woman of color, surrounded by a certain standard of beauty;
Caucasian, blond hair, blue eyes. When I moved to the South, an amazing thing
happened. I began getting compliments. Men were showing interest; both black and white,
even other cultures.
Suddenly, I was gorgeous. It made no sense to me, since I was the exact same
person I had always been, even older than when I had spent all those years in
the Northeast, and wanting so badly to be in a relationship. My take on this, is that
it may have taken a change of location, to a different mix of cultures and attitudes to
change my situation.


I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but most men don't seem to want to be involved with single mothers. Could this be part of it? Although I don't understand why things changed so suddenly when you went south, that's weird. Maybe you were just happier to be surrounded by happy people?

No offense taken! I am sure that being a single mom factored in, but a lot of the men I was interested in, didn't know at first that I had a child. My daughter, now grown, agreed with my above theory. She said that in her opinion, being in a more diverse area helped people to be more appreciative of different styles of beauty, whereas the people in the place I lived before, seemed to view me as some sort of high maintenance, exotic pet that they didn't want to learn about. :)


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MissConstrue
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23 Apr 2010, 12:44 am

I don't want to sound "racist" but it seems like the only guys I seem to get "noticed" are mostly black or hispanic. It was a lot like that in my downtown area. Don't know if it's cultural thing or not.

Most of the white guys or guys in my area are either hard for me to read, aren't interested, or I don't know...


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zee
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23 Apr 2010, 8:47 am

hartzofspace wrote:
zee wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
I have an interesting story to share, about perceived ugliness. I used to live in the
Northeastern part of the U.S. I spent many years as a single mom, alone. Nobody
wanted to date me, and if I asked a guy out, I either got treated like a slut, or politely
turned down. I began to firmly believe that I must be the ugliest thing around, and
began to think about plastic surgery, etc. An obvious part of the problem, I believe,
was that I was a multi-cultural woman of color, surrounded by a certain standard of beauty;
Caucasian, blond hair, blue eyes. When I moved to the South, an amazing thing
happened. I began getting compliments. Men were showing interest; both black and white,
even other cultures.
Suddenly, I was gorgeous. It made no sense to me, since I was the exact same
person I had always been, even older than when I had spent all those years in
the Northeast, and wanting so badly to be in a relationship. My take on this, is that
it may have taken a change of location, to a different mix of cultures and attitudes to
change my situation.


I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but most men don't seem to want to be involved with single mothers. Could this be part of it? Although I don't understand why things changed so suddenly when you went south, that's weird. Maybe you were just happier to be surrounded by happy people?

No offense taken! I am sure that being a single mom factored in, but a lot of the men I was interested in, didn't know at first that I had a child. My daughter, now grown, agreed with my above theory. She said that in her opinion, being in a more diverse area helped people to be more appreciative of different styles of beauty, whereas the people in the place I lived before, seemed to view me as some sort of high maintenance, exotic pet that they didn't want to learn about. :)


That makes sense.



zee
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23 Apr 2010, 8:49 am

MissConstrue wrote:
I don't want to sound "racist" but it seems like the only guys I seem to get "noticed" are mostly black or hispanic. It was a lot like that in my downtown area. Don't know if it's cultural thing or not.

Most of the white guys or guys in my area are either hard for me to read, aren't interested, or I don't know...


Might be a cultural thing--all the hispanic men I've met seem way more confident and outgoing and than a lot of white guys.



pumibel
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06 May 2010, 5:03 pm

bluerose wrote:
zee- that really sucks what happened to you. I know exactly how that feels because of the incident that encouraged me to post here as well. The male teacher that only gives good grades to the hot chicks. I used to have A's in that subject because we had a nonbiased(nonlesbian) female teacher that didn't care how attractive you were. Those are the kind of teachers that see how talented I am, the males and lesbians never do because they're too blinded by the hot blondes. I mean, I got a C in a subject and there was this other blonde chick with more mistakes than me last year who just whined about it a little to another male teacher and boom! She got an A from the male teacher. And of course I can't talk to anyone about it, it's not that type of school and ours is not that kind of country.
monsterland- I have no cash for plastic surgery. My body is ideal weight and really nothing to complain about. I do work out, I dance and sometimes lift a little in the gym. Does wonders for the stress. Positive attitude I've got but the males always seem to shoot that down rather fast. I'm definately collecting some plastic surgery money for the future though.
I am not really dissatisfied with my appearance, it doesn't bother ME, it's all the males around me that insist on discriminating against me because of it that's my problem.


This does not make sense. If you were not bothered by your looks, then you would have more confidence and probably attract at least a few men. C'mon- you have stated in other posts that you dress nice, wear makeup- you say here that your looks don't bother you and that your body is fine. So this is contradictory to your original statement, isn't it? DO you really think the problem is your looks? If not one single male will ask you out it means you are giving off an unavailable vibe.

EDIT : Crap!! !! you are talking about HIGH SCHOOL guys? Are you basing the rest of your life on those hormonal idiots? When you get to college all this will change. I couldn't get a date in high school and I was sure I was ugly and would never have a boyfriend. I went to college and suddenly I was someone to be desired- guys who went to high school with me and went to the same college even suddenly had a change of heart (or hormones). High school is small fries- those boys don't matter. They are not ready for meaningful relationships. They just want sex. The college guys too, but they will show interest. And if they don't, you will be able to focus on studying.

Now, since you are apparently not ugly, what is the problem? I don't buy FOR ONE SECOND that you got a C for being, at worst. average looking. BS!! !! ! You could bring a whole world of hurt and pain down on a teacher if this happened. I am not buying this crap- and I am an average looking female who doesn't get dates either. But I always got the grades I deserved, and I was able to get work. The date thing is probably my attitude or vibe.



bluerose
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07 May 2010, 9:01 am

pumibel wrote:
This does not make sense. If you were not bothered by your looks, then you would have more confidence and probably attract at least a few men. C'mon- you have stated in other posts that you dress nice, wear makeup- you say here that your looks don't bother you and that your body is fine. So this is contradictory to your original statement, isn't it? DO you really think the problem is your looks? If not one single male will ask you out it means you are giving off an unavailable vibe.

EDIT : Crap!! !! you are talking about HIGH SCHOOL guys? Are you basing the rest of your life on those hormonal idiots? When you get to college all this will change. I couldn't get a date in high school and I was sure I was ugly and would never have a boyfriend. I went to college and suddenly I was someone to be desired- guys who went to high school with me and went to the same college even suddenly had a change of heart (or hormones). High school is small fries- those boys don't matter. They are not ready for meaningful relationships. They just want sex. The college guys too, but they will show interest. And if they don't, you will be able to focus on studying.

Now, since you are apparently not ugly, what is the problem? I don't buy FOR ONE SECOND that you got a C for being, at worst. average looking. BS!! !! ! You could bring a whole world of hurt and pain down on a teacher if this happened. I am not buying this crap- and I am an average looking female who doesn't get dates either. But I always got the grades I deserved, and I was able to get work. The date thing is probably my attitude or vibe.



I do have confidence. No problem in that area whatsoever. I'm also always nice, the opposite of unavailable. If I weren't nice, I wouldn't have female friends or get along with females but I ALWAYS get along with women.
Of course I watch what I dress and wear makeup, everybody does. That doesn't mean it can cover it up if my features are basically unattractive or plain. I'm basing this on the way ALL males relate to me, not boys or a certain age or a certain status. And you can add some lesbian teachers to the mix too.
And I do not live in America. In this country you don't just sue people or whatever. The attitude is very lax, esspecially in the school I go to. Also note how you're talking about yourself. Maybe you DO have an attitude or "vibe" but like I said earlier, that can't be my problem, since 50% of the population seem to find me very friendly and nice.



Postures
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07 May 2010, 9:10 am

Most of my friends are male and I'm not attractive. I get on better with men than I do with women. Come to think of it, I have no straight female friends 8O


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07 May 2010, 10:39 am

Postures wrote:
Most of my friends are male and I'm not attractive. I get on better with men than I do with women. Come to think of it, I have no straight female friends 8O
This is not as unusual as you might think. A lot of women say the same thing. Women are often in a constant competition with each other. It's a bit different with men, though, especially amongst buddies. For example if a man has picked out a woman he wants to try his luck on, there is an unwritten rule that none of his friends are allowed to interfere for anything else than being a supportive wingman. If the woman appears to be more interested in the wingman, he's supposed to either enter ignore mode, or advertise for his friend. Most outgoing NT guys know and follow this.

Gah... I hope I'm not digressing too much here. :oops:


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