Do people ever think your a cold-hearted b***h?

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owlyellow
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09 May 2011, 6:58 pm

I've been told directly and have heard through others talking about me that I'm stuck up, snobby, a b***h, cold, aloof, etc. I've also had a couple of instances where I'll have sort of known another person, but not actually had the opportunity to get to know them, (or maybe I misinterpreted the lack of opportunity...) and then I'll have a conversation with them, and they'll tell me they are surprised I'm so nice, and that they thought I didn't like them.

I've also had instances where I'll have had (what I thought) was a pleasant exchange with an acquaintance, like a classmate or friend of a friend, and then all of a sudden they hate me the next time I see them, and I'll have absolutely no idea how I must have offended them.

It feels like this happens to me more often with other women than with men. I have two close friends that are girls, and also a sister, and these are the only girls I really trust that won't "turn" on me... these are also girls who are a little more "male" minded it seems too, whereas the women who seemed to all of a sudden hate me are very girly, NT type of females. I've always felt a little more in the middle of the male-female gender spectrum mind-wise... (if that makes any sense) so maybe my inability to understand NT girlspeak is the problem?



OneStepBeyond
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10 May 2011, 7:01 pm

yeah. But I'm the most warm-hearted b***h ever really:)



MissWiggy
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14 May 2011, 4:03 pm

Actually people usually think I am quite a nice person, but only I know what an evil b**** I am :twisted:



keira
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14 May 2011, 4:30 pm

I get called a cold-hearted b**ch sometimes. Usually by someone who doesn't know me and doesn't even bother to know me. That doesn't worry me though. I do feel hurt when I'm told that I'm cold or I lack any feelings by someone I care about.



Moopants
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14 May 2011, 5:02 pm

Lene wrote:
I get mistaken for being miserable when I'm not. Random people; teachers, night club bouncers you name it all telling me to cheer up and smile. I gave the last guy a long speil about how I'm really happy and I just look that way and how every thinks the same... I think he regretted commenting :P


^^ This!

I get called aloof or uninterested or distant or weird.

To me bitchy is malicious gossiping and I don't do that. Being a b***h is different, thats being deliberately nasty. I'm neither of those and havent been called a b***h (except by my brother)



whatamess
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16 May 2011, 12:58 am

All my life. Except by my one and only soulmate...sigh

Right now, it seems everyone where I live thinks I'm a b***h because of the following things:

1. on male neighbor who is a chauvinist pig, who punched his wife in the EYE (she is very sweet and I love her dearly), decided to tell me that I should stay in my apartment more, send my son to school and not homeschool, etc...and I basically in as nice a words as I could told him "if my son or I go to your home and bother you, you let me know....however, inside my home, I make the rules".
2. a crazy church lady here allowed her 5yr old grandson to be badly beaten by his dad, ie. her son in her apartment...I was appalled as he as my son's friend...I went to talk to her thinking the boy had a fight with another kid...she told everyone I called CPS on her (I did not because I did not know what had truly happened, I would've had I known)...she also never wears a bra, weighs about 300lbs and wears tiny shorts...she saw me ONCE in short shorts and a tank top and started talking about me wearing such shorts (we live at an apartment ON THE BEACH and I was cleaning my apartment and we have no central air), she asked me for a favor once and told me it was her present to her niece...I spent over a week doing a video, editing, etc...pictures, etc...FOR FREE...later I found out she actually CHARGED 300USD for MY WORK and didn't pay me a cent...needless to say, I tell my husband I can't stand her and everyone thinks I am a b***h because this is the Christian woman who is always praying here
3. some women have decided to constantly tell me "you should do something with your hair...men like women who are dressed up all the time...etc..." I have not told them off, but have basically stopped trying to socialize with them as I think it's none of their business...thus, everyone thinks I am an anti-social b***h
4. my dog (RIP now) got sick from all the inconsiderate neighbors who took out their dogs and didn''t pick up the poop...I am fed up with them being so inconsiderate and constantly call the administration to complain and tell anyone who complains about it how I feel those people are inconsiderate...becasue of it, I am also considered a b***h
5. I live in a country where 90% are Catholic...on Good Friday one son of a resident decided to have a huge party with very loud music (We could hear inside our apartment even with AC on) and nasty rap music...all the neighbors were upset as they all observed the holiday...I'm actually agnostic, but believe in respecting others especially when they cannot even have peace inside their own home...I told the kid (idiot 20+yr old) "I think you need to turn down the music a bit because alot of people are complaining and they are going to end up calling the cops and that will be the end of the party..." 30 minutes later the cops had over 10 complaints...everyone called anonimously...I am the b***h because I went to the kid and told him "you should lower it to avoid problems..."

So, yes, I am constantly called a b***h and I am sick of it!

'



ShutUpMeg
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19 May 2011, 10:26 pm

b***h is my middle name. People tend to mistake my matter of fact-ness and blunt replies for rudeness. Typical. :)



AngelofDreams
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12 Jul 2012, 2:31 pm

I was called a b**ch on a MMORPG game.
The reason was possibly because I had a friend who got me into the game, and helped me start up by giving me equipment of higher levels so I could level up easier. So when I would just be occupying myself with something in-game, I had a few people run up nearby me and type an obvious message to me that spelled "b***h", and I suspect it was because they thought I was cheating concidering I had high-level items. Or something like that.... people confuse me most of the time.



opal
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13 Jul 2012, 6:33 am

Erisad wrote:
Oh hell yes. Sometimes I just don't feel like giving a sh** about everyone that I pass. Don't see how that makes me a b***h but whatever. :shrug:


^This. I think I'm getting more misanthropic with age. I used to give much more effort into being perceived as nice but some people see "nice" people as fair game, so I think what's the point . I'm seen either as a b***h or a pushover, nothing in between. :(



Bunnynose
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13 Jul 2012, 2:09 pm

People who are willing to call you names for what they perceive you to be without actually getting to know you -- why would we consider their opinions valid?

And yes, I've been called names. Honestly I think mean people start out as mean children, who enjoy causing other people hurt, whether by making fun of them to their faces, online or behind their backs.

As a child, I didn't like bullies. As an adult, I like them even less. If given the chance -- for instance, they attack me -- I will beat them senseless with gusto.



lostonearth35
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13 Jul 2012, 10:04 pm

I probably deserve to be called the big "b" and even worse. I know I must be the most hateful, evil and vicious person on this entire site because of the things I've recently posted about men and Americans, which I should not have, even if it was true. But it was either express all my rage and frustration to the world or explode into flames... :shrug:



xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Jul 2012, 9:27 am

Nah, I've never been called that. I'm very much a nice person. Sure I have my moments, but doesn't everybody....


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rosemund
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16 Jul 2012, 10:25 am

Like many of you, I got the "cold" label from an early age. My paternal grandmother first asked me when I was eight? I think. The irony is, she was the same way. Sociopathic personality there, and she never knew it for what it was, but even my grandfather discussed it with my mother at one point. "Daughter, I just don't know what gets into her sometimes." Personally, I think she had an undiagnosed stroke or he had an affair, and one of those issues pushed her over the edge. Or she was always like that, and he just didn't like to think about it. Anyway, they raised me, and although I didn't live with him past the age of one, I ended up with roughly the same personality as my father.

My ex husband and my long term ex bf, both gave me the "cold" and "b***h" labels. My mom says I can be cold, but she also admits that if anyone really needs help, I'm the first one to step up. "The most truly compassionate person" in our family. I just don't show it often.

And yes, when pets die I am typically devastated, but the deaths of family members don't really effect me. It could be, however, that it's because the pet deaths are often unexpected and violent (cars, for instance), whereas the humans have all died at an old age after prolonged health issues.



Shroomy
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16 Jul 2012, 1:29 pm

I don't know what they think but I have been called insensitive among a number of other things.



sedods
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02 Aug 2012, 1:25 pm

I've been called a heartless robot by several of my family members. Several times. Usually after they ask me to give my opinion on something they've done, said or want to do or say. Then I tell them what I'm thinking and they get all pissed off and spend the next ten minutes telling my why my opinion is wrong and how I'm so cold and mean.

This is why I try and say as little as possible around people. They always try and get me to tell them what I'm thinking, then when I finally just tell them my honest opinion, it never seems to be what they wanted to hear. Why the f**k do people ask if they don't want to hear the answer?!

I just don't get it...