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Aspie_Chav
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01 Dec 2006, 1:44 pm

I question for woman only. I know I am not suppose to in here but an educational experience cannot be missed.

Why do you think men cheat in a relationship more then woman?

Worming any answer to this question might end up being a question in itself.



donkey
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01 Dec 2006, 1:50 pm

it isnt true, chicks cheat man do they cheat they just dont bragg about as much as men.
its a two way street dude.
sorry im a man. but i needed to add this bit.



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01 Dec 2006, 1:52 pm

I didn't know they cheat more, is that entirely accurate? More often you'll hear of men who have cheated, but might that be because some men would refuse to admit to their partner, girlfriend whatever had cheated on them, whereas women (no offence) will gossip about it.



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01 Dec 2006, 2:03 pm

they don't


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MelancholyBunny
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01 Dec 2006, 2:26 pm

If i were being cynical i'd say because they can.

However as there is more than one person in a relationship (though usually less than three, unless that's what you agreed to) i feel that both affect whether one of them cheats or not, though that doesn't in any way make it acceptable.



midge
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01 Dec 2006, 2:29 pm

Well, I could give you the standard evolutionary psychology answer here, about how women have a limited number of eggs and are capable of producing fewer offspring and men have a huge amount of sperm and produce offspring with relative ease (i.e, they don't get pregnant :wink: ) and can produce many so it is more to their advantage to have multiple female partners etc. etc. etc., but I don't think ev psych does a better job of explaining human behavior than any other system of thought out there (and I am not a hard-core Darwinist anyway), so that's not the answer I'm going with.

Actually, I really can't give you an answer at all, because I can't really understand why, beyond humans being imperfect beings, anyone cheats. Maybe it's just my poor theory of mind, I don't know, but I can't understand why people would invest months, years, decades into a relationship and then just throw it all away because they "got bored" or whatever. Or why people can't just be honest and up front about their relationship and any problems they have with it instead of letting their frustration and resentment build up until they start taking it out on their partners and cheating on them.



sociable_hermit
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01 Dec 2006, 3:12 pm

Unless you're talking about married men cheating with other men, surely that statistic is impossible?

Given that the majority of relationships are heterosexual, there must be a man and a woman involved in most cases of cheating. You're suggesting that the cheating man is very often married while the women involved are generally single, but I'm not sure about this. The only reason I can think of is that men are often older than 'their' women and so perhaps, at any given age, men have a greater selection of women to choose from.

E.g. a 30 year old man might look for a partner in the age 25 - 30 bracket, where more women are single, whereas a 30 year old woman would more likely be looking for a 30 - 35 year old man, and most of them are married.

Wealth and power are influences, too. Many secretaries and PAs actually run companies, because they control the Directors... one way or another.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Dec 2006, 3:22 pm

Because Males are usually the Visual gender and if they feel that their women don't give them the love and acceptance that they crave, they'll go to any good looking woman who will give it to them.



en_una_isla
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01 Dec 2006, 3:24 pm

I think, prob., more men cheat if you include visits to prostitutes, but it's probably pretty even.

As to why, I think it is still more socially acceptable for men to cheat than for women. Overall it is still more socially acceptable for a man to be sexually active than for a woman to be.



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01 Dec 2006, 3:50 pm

So, basically we're stuck in the past then, the days when men had mistresses and women couldn't have sex until they married.
It is unfair (yes, i do know life isn't fair) if a man has a lot of sexual partners it solidifies his standing among his peers, ie, they're impressed, whereas if a woman has a lot of sexual partners she is seen as a slut or whore, or worse, easy.
So much for sexual equality.



sociable_hermit
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01 Dec 2006, 4:26 pm

I just don't think that's true any more.

There are many men and women playing the dating game to its full potential. Men don't tend to brag about sexual conquests so much any more (and even when they did, a lot of it was empty posturing rather than genuine information) so I think their attitude is gradually changing. Women pretend to be demure but are generally more open and 'graphic' about sex when they're talking with close friends, so I don't think many girls take their traditional moral status seriously any more either.

Some people want long term relationships, some want short term, and that goes for both genders. I think the numbers of women actively going out and enjoying themselves has increased dramatically over the last 10 years - nightclubs often contain more women than men now, and figures for smoking and drinking-related health problems among young girls have shot up. It follows that increased sexual activity / promiscuity can be associated with this shift towards more hedonistic living. That's not a criticism or judgement in any way, just a statement of fact.


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Aspie_Chav
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01 Dec 2006, 4:36 pm

midge wrote:
Well, I could give you the standard evolutionary psychology answer here, about how women have a limited number of eggs and are capable of producing fewer offspring and men have a huge amount of sperm and produce offspring with relative ease (i.e, they don't get pregnant :wink: ) and can produce many so it is more to their advantage to have multiple female partners etc. etc. etc., but I don't think ev psych does a better job of explaining human behavior than any other system of thought out there (and I am not a hard-core Darwinist anyway), so that's not the answer I'm going with.


Thats the answer I was looking for :) thats all you have been great.



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02 Dec 2006, 6:47 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
midge wrote:
Well, I could give you the standard evolutionary psychology answer here, about how women have a limited number of eggs and are capable of producing fewer offspring and men have a huge amount of sperm and produce offspring with relative ease (i.e, they don't get pregnant :wink: ) and can produce many so it is more to their advantage to have multiple female partners etc. etc. etc., but I don't think ev psych does a better job of explaining human behavior than any other system of thought out there (and I am not a hard-core Darwinist anyway), so that's not the answer I'm going with.


Thats the answer I was looking for :) thats all you have been great.


i was going to suggest something like this, as a biological intial cause.... with the amount of energy each sex needs to put into, to produce/care for offspring... it makes sense that males can contribute more to the population diversity by having multiple partners. same could be said for females, but by getting pregnant... there's kinda the 9 month-effective turn about... so that biological set up can possibly explain this type of behavior, generally speaking.

that being said.... now that there's contraception that's like 99.9% effective... that kind of selective pressure for this behavior is effectively removed... and women are basically free to cheat just as much as men w/o reprecussions... and i think they do.


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02 Dec 2006, 9:01 pm

I think male and female cheat as much as each other..

My 2 extremely NT friends met that way. The girl cheated on her boyfriend, the guy cheated on his girlfriend, they hooked up, they've been arguing every other day since for 3+ years.. I love it



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03 Dec 2006, 6:54 am

I'm not a chick but am a woman. I think it is partly because men have more opportunities to cheat but with women's liberation, the opportunities for women to cheat are getting more.

Also, I think more women cheated in the past than was thought, but they tended to keep it quiet. It could easily mean the end of a marriage and financial support, so they had a lot more to lose than the man.

I would also agree with the observation that it is considered more socially acceptable (or at least, less unacceptable) for men to cheat.


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20 Dec 2006, 2:07 pm

Men don't cheat more than women at all. I think it's just the same, but women can be better at hiding it because they don't tend to brag about it. In fact, out of everyone I know, I have heard of and know more women who have cheated than men. Although I probably just know a bunch of b*****s as far as relationships are concerned.....


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