What does it mean to you to be a woman with Asperger's?

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noxnocturne
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13 Nov 2012, 7:27 pm

Sanctus wrote:
I look down on women who limit themselves to the female stereotype.


I need to say something about this.Women choose what they want to be. If they want to abide by the so-called female "stereotype," then that's what they want to do. It's not something to look down on. You've chosen your way, they've chosen theirs.



Sanctus
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13 Nov 2012, 8:00 pm

noxnocturne wrote:
Sanctus wrote:
I look down on women who limit themselves to the female stereotype.


I need to say something about this.Women choose what they want to be. If they want to abide by the so-called female "stereotype," then that's what they want to do. It's not something to look down on. You've chosen your way, they've chosen theirs.


Sure. I mean women who say stuff like "you're a woman, so you have to have long hair and wear dresses". Women that fully accept the female sterotype and want to force it on others.



unduki
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15 Nov 2012, 6:51 pm

anna_p13 wrote:
I'm curious as to what other people have to say. Do you think there is any truth to the "extreme male brain theory" of AS? Do you relate well to other women? How about to men?


To me, being a woman with autism means marginalization. I've come to the sad conclusion that people without penises simply don't count. All the studies are done on men and children. All the help is for them. Being a woman is a self-help operation.

I'm not comfortable with the term, extreme male brain. I can see similarities enough to see why the term was coined but it's definitely misleading. I'm nothing like a man. If you see that, you are misreading what you see.

I get along better with men, to a point. I like the way they think and deal with life. Because I'm a girl, many of them are usually affected in some way - mostly intimidated by my height, which causes them to react to some kind of perceived challenge to their manhood. So lame. I only have a handful of dear, male friends who are blessedly able to get beyond my vagina and boobs and call me friend - and only one of them is gay.

However, I have more in common with women. I have a woman's body that menstruated, gave life to four and needs yearly mammograms. I share socio-economical commonalities as well. I was a housewife for 20 years - kept from higher education because I didn't have a penis - kept from a lot of things...

My emotional expression tends to be more like a man's but my early childhood socialization was dominated by boys. My only girl childhood friend was also a tomboy. I suppose that all had something to do with it - but I had the opportunity to play with other little girls and didn't choose to do so. They wanted to play with dolls and doll houses. I wanted to experience the world - without makeup, high heels and a dress.


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Plodder
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15 Nov 2012, 7:06 pm

Sanctus wrote:
noxnocturne wrote:
Sanctus wrote:
I look down on women who limit themselves to the female stereotype.


I need to say something about this.Women choose what they want to be. If they want to abide by the so-called female "stereotype," then that's what they want to do. It's not something to look down on. You've chosen your way, they've chosen theirs.


Sure. I mean women who say stuff like "you're a woman, so you have to have long hair and wear dresses". Women that fully accept the female sterotype and want to force it on others.


Women who wish to be feminine and have long hair and wear dresses (such as myself) are annoyed by butch feminists implying that we ought to dress like men. It works both ways.

If you don't like wearing dresses and having long hair, fair enough. But I don't see why you should "look down" on women who choose to do so. Very few women choose to have a feminine appearance nowadays, so it takes far more courage to wear dresses and have long hair and go against the grain than it does to have short hair and wear jeans and be socially accepted for looking exactly like everybody else.



Kjas
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15 Nov 2012, 7:10 pm

^^^
Indeed.

That was one of the things I got picked on for the most when I moved to the West. Even to this day - I still get picked on for it constantly.

There is no reason for this type of behaviour - regardless of how a person chooses to dress.


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Yuzu
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15 Nov 2012, 7:32 pm

Plodder wrote:
Sanctus wrote:
noxnocturne wrote:
Sanctus wrote:
I look down on women who limit themselves to the female stereotype.


I need to say something about this.Women choose what they want to be. If they want to abide by the so-called female "stereotype," then that's what they want to do. It's not something to look down on. You've chosen your way, they've chosen theirs.


Sure. I mean women who say stuff like "you're a woman, so you have to have long hair and wear dresses". Women that fully accept the female sterotype and want to force it on others.


Women who wish to be feminine and have long hair and wear dresses (such as myself) are annoyed by butch feminists implying that we ought to dress like men. It works both ways.

If you don't like wearing dresses and having long hair, fair enough. But I don't see why you should "look down" on women who choose to do so. Very few women choose to have a feminine appearance nowadays, so it takes far more courage to wear dresses and have long hair and go against the grain than it does to have short hair and wear jeans and be socially accepted for looking exactly like everybody else.


Wow, and I had the impression that you were one of those butch feminists who looked down on women who choose to wear makeup.



Plodder
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15 Nov 2012, 7:42 pm

Yuzu wrote:

Wow I had the impression that you were one of those butch feminists who looked down on women who choose to wear makeup.


Based on what you've just said, it seems you had made a judgment about me and assumed that just because I do not like to wear makeup, I must be a butch feminist. :?

I am not butch, and I am not a feminist, and I do not wear makeup. However, I do wear skirts, and I do have long hair.

I therefore do not fit some sort of standard "stereotype" you believe in. I am my own person.

You ought to learn that there are all sorts of different people in the world, and they do not all fit neatly into the little stereotyped categories that exist inside your head! :)



unduki
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15 Nov 2012, 7:52 pm

I took the test and came to the conclusion that I'm good at tests. I scored high on everything. Mostly, this test says my brain is more male but I think that's just because this test is mostly about things men are good at. I scored high on all the women's stuff but there were only a few questions where women would score higher than men.

It also doesn't take into account how we've been conditioned by society as men or women. I know way too many women who have been convinced they are inferior and a lot of men who have an inflated estimation of their self worth, like manhood itself is an entitlement.


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Yuzu
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15 Nov 2012, 7:54 pm

Plodder wrote:
Yuzu wrote:

Wow I had the impression that you were one of those butch feminists who looked down on women who choose to wear makeup.


Based on what you've just said, it seems you had made a judgment about me and assumed that just because I do not like to wear makeup, I must be a butch feminist. :?

I am not butch, and I am not a feminist, and I do not wear makeup. However, I do wear skirts, and I do have long hair.

I therefore do not fit some sort of standard "stereotype" you believe in. I am my own person.

You ought to learn that there are all sorts of different people in the world, and they do not all fit neatly into the little stereotyped categories that exist inside your head! :)


I was just surprised that you look down on women who choose to wear makeup (you used some harsh words about them; they are fake, wearing a mask, lying to themselves, superficial), yet you accuse some women who has certain view about women who like to dress feminine way of being butch feminists. It's like that saying , the pot calling the kettle black. That's all.



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15 Nov 2012, 8:14 pm

It is not the same thing at all. Unlike you, I did not say that I "look down on" them. I do not consider myself superior to other women just because we are different.

It is OK to express your opinion or disagreement with how others choose to dress but it is NOT OK to "look down on them" because of it. Two other females here have also agreed that what you said was out of line. Please be a bit more courteous.



Yuzu
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15 Nov 2012, 8:24 pm

Your expressing your opinion is perfectly ok whereas mine is out of line?
Sounds like double standard to me.



Plodder
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15 Nov 2012, 9:09 pm

That is not what I said. Go back and read my post again. I said IT IS OK TO EXPRESS YOUR OPINION and say "personally I don't like skirts and long hair" just as I said " I don't like makeup" but it is NOT OK to say you "look down" on other women because of how they choose to dress. I never once said I looked down on other women for wearing makeup. You said you "look down" on women in skirts with long hair. That's why you're out of line.

Please stop making false accusations (pretending I said I "look down" on women who wear makeup is a lie) and wilfully misunderstanding perfectly clear statements (I have already said it is OK to express your opinion, meaning anyone can do it, so you have no grounds for pretending I've said at any point that mine is the only opinion that can be shared). Just don't insult people by saying you "look down" on them for their choice of dress when sharing your opinion about it, and then your opinion will not offend just because it is one of the many different ones around here. :)



Yuzu
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15 Nov 2012, 9:33 pm

I've never said "I look down on women in skirts with long hair."
You are confusing me with someone else.

You've said you "feel sorry" for women who wear makeup. I guess it's a little better than "looking down" on them?

Personally I really don't care what others choose to wear or if they wear makeup or not.
And I am genuinely surprised how some people have strong opinions about what others choose to look like.

I was just trying to point out that you can't accuse others of being intolerant when you yourself are being so.



unduki
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15 Nov 2012, 10:22 pm

I think a lot can be said about assumptions. I do it; we all do it. Reading this as a third party, twice, I see you both essentially saying the same thing, just maybe misreading and assuming here and there, so can we bury the hatchet (and the high heeled shoes?)

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16 Nov 2012, 9:29 am

Quote:

I've never said "I look down on women in skirts with long hair."


I see.



Sanctus
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16 Nov 2012, 9:32 am

Plodder wrote:
Quote:

I've never said "I look down on women in skirts with long hair."


:roll:

Sanctus wrote:
I look down on women who limit themselves to the female stereotype. I mean women who say stuff like "you're a woman, so you have to have long hair and wear dresses"


^^^Yes you did. I provide the direct quote to refresh your memory. Please stop lying and being insulting to women who do not share your taste in clothes.


First of all, that first quote is not from me, but Yuzu.

And also, there was a big misunderstanding. In fact, I do not look down on women in skirts with long hair. Hell, I have long hair myself and dress rather feminine, even though I don't wear skirts or dresses. The point was that I look down on women who basically think that women with short hair are not women. That you have to wear makeup and dresses or else something is wrong with you.

Of course every woman can dress and act however she wants, as long as she doesn't claim her own tastes as the definition of "correct" femininity.