Page 1 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

20 Jan 2014, 4:59 am

Nothing sexual and nothing erotic or demeaning I was just wondering! I like hugs alot as a guy because I feel loved and comforted and it gives me confidence!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


linatet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 934
Location: beloved Brazil

20 Jan 2014, 6:28 am

Yeees ! :3
I guess everyone likes hugs except if the person has emotional or sensory issues. Studies prove kids raised in a full of hugs home are happier and healthier that those raised by cold family members. It's a species thing we need the contact. Also monkeys are like that too.



anelynn
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 25

20 Jan 2014, 8:56 am

I don't like hugs. They make me feel uncomfortable, anxious and self-conscious. I don't really like being touched at all, but hugs are especially bad. I don't even like them from my Mom.



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

20 Jan 2014, 10:50 am

I don't do hugs. I don't want to.

The last time I was hugged was about 3 and a half years ago.



Soccer22
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 692

20 Jan 2014, 11:10 am

I hate hugs. I also grew up with an aspie mom who also hates hugs. We hug maybe every few months. Several years went by without a hug from both of my parents at one point. My sister also hates people touching her, so her and I haven't hugged in going on 5 years. Maybe this is why I have trouble in romantic situations... Hmmm... I don't know. I don't see family members, so I don't have to worry about them hugging me either. Wow, I just realized how my life consists of zero affection, that can't be healthy...



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

20 Jan 2014, 12:05 pm

Are you asking if Aspie women like hugs, or if women like hugs? I've found that women generally love hugs. But many women under 30 are very anti-social and think hugging is a violation of their personal space...you know, because they are sooooo self-important. I blame Facebook. Also, hugging largely depends on context, which can be difficult for us Aspies to figure out. And not to be condescending, but if you are giving a hug, it matters if she wants it, not if you do.



linatet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 934
Location: beloved Brazil

20 Jan 2014, 1:29 pm

Quote:
But many women under 30 are very anti-social and think hugging is a violation of their personal space...you know, because they are sooooo self-important. I blame Facebook.

I think that's a great generalisation. I don't know about where you live but where I live women under 30 are not anti-social and love hugs. Friends hug each other all the time, like few times a day.
Also personal space is not a matter of self-importance. Everyone has personal space, when you want to hug someone first you have to read the body language to see if they want it or not. You can't do something to someone if they don't want it.
And if people nowadays are self-important is it really because of facebook? Or is facebook's success only a consequence of a indivualist self-centered society?

But if it was sarcasm/joke I beg your pardon :wink:



droppy
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

20 Jan 2014, 2:08 pm

Personally I don't care much anymore.
Ever since I was a child up to a year or two ago I hated hugs (unless they came from my parents). I used to scream and wriggle when someone hugged me and at times I even hit the person who was hugging me or I cursed at them.
It's almost two years that I've been doing karate and I have become pretty insensitive to touch in some areas of my body. My shoulders and arms are still very sensitive to touch (I still feel pain if someone touches my shoulder or arm) but on some other areas, like my sides or legs, I have become insensitive. I know because today Andrew asked me to move, I didn't hear him and he touched my side to make me take notice of him. I didn't feel he was touching me until I looked in the mirror and I saw him touching me.
Now I don't react aggressively to hugs anymore but I usually just freeze in the other person's hug.
Last year I hugged Alexandra and she's the first person out of my family that I've ever hugged.



aspergermarried
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2014
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: somewhere to learn

21 Jan 2014, 7:05 am

I like hugs from my husband more than almost anything else. If other people "aren't allowed" to hug me that day, I almost always still want him to do it.

Physical contact wise, I'd rather be hugged (my calm way) than to do any other "fun" activity. We do have babies, too, so the other stuff is happening, but getting hugged gets top banana.

If my body is very tense, though, as in hunch back of Notre Dame, please don't touch me at all, especially if I haven't done my neck and shoulder exercise that day. I will want to yell at you if you come near to hug me.



stabilator
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 337
Location: USA

21 Jan 2014, 8:25 pm

I have sensory problems, so I don't like hugs much. I need a warning before someone hugs me so I cant prepare for it. I hate it when people give me a surprise attack hug from behind. Also, I don't like hugs from people I don't trust or who are disrespectful.



Stryla
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9

21 Jan 2014, 9:55 pm

Not a fan of hugs myself. Part of it is due to not having many growing up. Another large part is because when I was growing up, I had lots of aunts, and they all wore a great deal of perfume, and they also had very large bosoms. A fair portion of growing up, a hug equaled my face being pressed into that large perfumed chest. Being hugged by them was rather suffocating.

Ive learned how to accept hugs when socially required, but I dont generally initiate them, and try really hard not to shy away when someone tries to give me one.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,714

21 Jan 2014, 10:43 pm

Sometimes.



GivePeaceAChance
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jan 2014
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 806
Location: USA

22 Jan 2014, 11:14 am

I love them, I am a very tactile person and I need touch

BUT I am selective about who I am willing to touch, I am quite afraid of most men and there are quite a few womyn I want to be left alone by, also I don't like being grabbed randomly so I need a warning. Other than that I love hugs I would like a whole lot more than I am getting at the moment.

and not the silly online pixel type - real ones, fools think showing me something on a flat screen is just like real life, NOT


_________________
?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin


AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

23 Jan 2014, 10:23 am

I feel comfort and secure when hugging a woman given i expect her to hug me and when she would expect me tto hug her not a surprise hug out of nowhere that that freaks me out. I jump like a cat that has had water poured on it! 8O


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


MindBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,341

23 Jan 2014, 5:04 pm

I don't do hugging very well. I'm pretty stiff when I do it and I don't stay in an embrace for very long. I'm not great at showing affection in general. But seeing as everyone seems to hug each other these days, I just put up with it, like a dog putting up with an annoying child.

I do like hugs, but only occaisonally and only from people I trust and am very close to. Oh, and dogs - I have no problem showing affection to dogs or having them physically close to me (for instance, if we are playing).

Most women I know have very little sense of personal space and will always touch you, hug you, be affectionate, etc. Most of my female friends try to be conscientous of my needs, and I try to be conscientous of theirs by allowing them to hug me only if they tell me first. That compromise usually works.



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

24 Jan 2014, 12:15 am

If anyone wanted one I could give one all they have to do is ask. :oops: :oops:


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList