Do NT men mind standoffish-looking girls?

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I don't understand it. If I smile or say hi to a person in a quiet but friendly sort of place (like a park), I get glared at or people look away like I'm doing something wrong - or they look at me and go to smile or speak but suddenly look all awkward and hesitant and then look away, which makes it clear that I give off a nervous or a standoffish expression. And no I am not ''annoying'' them or ''creeping them out'' by being friendly because I am only taking the advice of many NTs, which is ''it is always appropriate to be friendly to another human''. I kind of figured that out after walking along with an NT and seeing them smile or say hi to strangers they don't know, and the strangers usually say hello back when passing.

BUT, what I would like to know is, how come I have a lot of men fancying me? (For non-British people, ''fancy'' means ''sexually attracted to''). Ever since I was about 20 I have had a lot of different men asking me for my number or wanting to find me on Facebook, and then calling me ''gorgeous'' when they find me on Facebook, and then asking me out for a drink and so on? Lucky for me I can easily recognise when somebody is flirting with me, so I often experience men trying to flirt with me too. I don't wear much make-up, only lipstick, and I'm not exactly really beautiful, I'm just average. Maybe because I'm slim? I'm dark blonde and have a face I've never been to happy with but have been told that my face isn't as ''long'' and ''big'' as I always think it looks. And I know men don't fancy me because of looking like an easy target, because I have an Aspie friend who's slim like me and looks pretty, wears make-up, but is shy and youth-looking, but she never has men after her. She's lucky if she finds a man on the internet, and even then it only lasts for about a day. But I can list down quite a number of men that fancies me, and I know they really do because I don't see them flirting with any other girls, they just seem interested in me - which is a compliment.

I just don't get how I seem to sexually attract men, but yet I smile to a stranger in the street and they turn away, as if there's something about me what looks too weird or standoffish, like they can sense my low self-esteem or something. But I was always told by NTs that men don't really like socially awkward, standoffish girls with low self-esteem. Maybe they're wrong? Or maybe I'm really attractive to men, even though I can't see what's so attractive about me compared to other attractive girls. When I was at school no boys ever went near me, and I always assumed that I would never get attention from any men in my life because of how quiet and standoffish and miserable I am, plus I have AS which does make social relationships harder to get. But, to my surprise, I do!

Please can someone help solve this very strange mystery?

If I met you, I'd definitely be able to answer both of your questions. But in just words, I have no idea. Hopefully somebody else knows.

As an NT I would say that smiling at and saying hello to strangers can go either way. I wouldn't personally do it unless it was someone I saw regularly as I do think some people find it a bit weird. But I will always return a smile and a friendly hello from a stranger as I think it's a nice thing to do. You can either stop doing it or just accept that a lot of people lack basic manners these days and feel good that you've been friendly even if others haven't returned it.
As for why you are so popular with men I would say it depends on the type of man you are attracting. If it is manipulative, nasty men then maybe they are sensing vulnerability in you. If it's nice men then maybe you are more approachable and attractive than you give yourself credit for.

You mean like this?

Are you introducing yourself to completely random people? NT usually like to pretend that there is some other reason apart from socializing that they are talking. They usually use circumstantial things to start a conversation. Like if they are in a grocery store, they might start a conversation about food or something in some trivial way that makes starting a conversation easier. I think they do this for 2 reasons: 1) because they are pretending like they have some other reason to be talking to you, if you don't respond positively, it makes rejection less harsh, 2) because socializing is so natural for NT, you come across as being a freak if it's obvious that you're doing something deliberately. Also, in my experience (I live in the USA) women hardly ever initiate any interaction with a man. If you are talking to random men, that alone might be considered strange.

IF the above stated reasons are correct, then it might also explain why men like you so much. I find that because most women are so passive and expect to be treated like princesses, that a reasonably attractive woman who is willing to walk up to a man, shake his hand, and introduce herself, makes herself really really hot to most men. I always thought women who did this were hot. Also my guess would be that because you're an aspie, you are more straightforward than most women and therefore don't make men put up with as much BS, which they find attractive.

That is my best guess.

I don't introduce myself to random men. I mean I get men liking me at places like work. At my first volunteer job, I had a man interested in me, but wasn't interested in other females there in that way. He just gave me his number, and invited me over to his apartment a few times (he was definitely single), just for a chat. I didn't really fancy him, which he got a little upset about, but I was willing to stay friends. We're still friends now, which is nice that he likes me for who I am.

Also when I was at my volunteer job a regular customer kept going up to me and saying, ''you're looking beautiful as always'', and then he wanted to find me on Facebook. It has been 5 years now, and he's still friendly to me. He doesn't want anything out of it because he is quite a bit older than me, but still, he does send me nice messages on Facebook asking how I am and telling me what a nice person I am and that I have ''natural beauty''. He even sends me a birthday card with nice messages in. The messages are never dirty, they are just sweet.

Even a neighbour down my street has been asking my dad about me, even though I have never really spoke to this guy before, and he only used to speak to my brother but doesn't ask about my brother. My dad reckons he might have seen me go by and sounds like he quite likes me. I haven't really seen him, but it's still nice to have a young-ish guy asking about me.

I also have someone fancying me at work. He still lives at home and doesn't have a girlfriend, and he is quite a confident NT. He always loves to help me out, and waits for me after work, and offers me a ride home in his car. He's added me on Facebook and put ''hi gorgeous, how are you doing? See you at work on Monday x'', and has asked if I wanted to meet him one day. He does seem like a nice guy. But I didn't attract him at first because I don't really fancy him. He doesn't really speak to other girls there, only in a casual way.

I have told my NT friend and my NT mum about men liking me, and they have both told me to let this be a good experience for me and that let it lift my chin up. But I still don't understand how I attract men in a positive way, but strangers just turn away from me. It's so weird. Maybe I have an inner confidence about myself what I can't see (because of my low self-esteem), and when I'm around men in environments like at work, I kind of give off a ''I believe in myself'' vibe, but when I'm just walking in the street or at a big social event like a party, I suddenly give off a ''I'm too shy, please don't look at me'' vibe, I don't know.

It's your unworldliness and seeming 'innocence' (even if you're not really innocent.) I used to have men presuming that about me when I was younger - that led to older men putting me on some kind of pedestal that I didn't really want to be on and it also led to some trying to take advantage and sexually harassing me. I look too old now to have that sort of effect, which is something I'm not entirely unhappy about.

i know a person who is the opposite. she is attractive (and Nt) and always gets people's attention in the street when she smiles at them they usually say hi back, and they even do when shes hardly looking at them. but she cant seem to get a boyfriend even though i wouldnt say shes shy. she wonders if its because of seeming standoffish but if she standoffish then how does she attract non-sexual attention?

so i suppose you are asking yourself 'how can i attract sexual attention but not general social attention?' maybe you are nervous of coming across people in general, but when you are in a predictable envionment with a man who is maybe easy to get along with, you seem more relaxed and maybe confident that you may get liked, being so you have faced previous experiences of being fancied by men.

its all about context.

I dunno. Sometimes it's other people that feel awkward when being said hi to randomly. I live near Seattle, and notice this a lot with the people who live here; social ineptitude is very much a cultural/geographical/whatever thing around here.
It might have nothing to do with you at all, considering you have no back story on the strangers you're greeting, they probably have a million and a half other things on their mind. While saying hello to people you pass on the street is a friendly thing you do, not everyone is going to welcome it.

While, when a guy flirts with you it's very obvious what his intentions are.

I guess I don't understand the correlation between men finding you gorgeous and people on the street (park, ect) feeling uncomfortable around you?

I prefer to be an arrogant bastard problem solved