Can I be beautiful at any size above an 18?

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Totally possible. I recommend looking into "Torrid" and clothing stores similar to it. I used to be bigger than I am now (size 12). I'd say I was about a size 16. People noticed my weight, yet males loved it. I didn't even take the time to "do" my hair. I wore eyeliner, and that was it. To the men who thought I was too big, I said "F you".

One of the most beautiful women I knew was over 240 lbs. She lost all of the weight, but she still looked great at any size.

I really have to question why men figure into the equation at all. Why should men's opinion of you determine if you pass the "beauty test" or not ? I ask this in all seriousness... I mean, honestly, if a random male on the street thinks you are fat, so what ? I am asking this because of the responses that state "men like big girls like me" or "men notice me". Who cares if a man notices you and tells you that you are beautiful or not ?

*You* decide if you are beautiful or not. You are the beholder of your own reflection. If you think you look gorgeous, then you are ! ! Who the heck cares what ANYONE ELSE thinks ?

Now, having said that, I will also add that if the man in your life thinks you are not, then that man is not worthy of you. Most men do appreciate and love the mothers of their children unconditionally, but there *are* some selfish, self-entitled punks who want their women to go back to having a 24" waist after they have produced a series of kids ! If you are saddled with one of these, you have my deepest sympathies. But, if you don't have any kids together, AND he doesn't think you are the most gorgeous woman he has ever clapped his eyes on, because you are carrying a few tyres around your middle, then it is time to move on. No kids to complicate life and tie you together for the rest of your natural lives.

NEXT !

I think it depends on how much you are around negative talk. As someone who was told I was ugly and fat by people like my parents, friends, so on for YEARS, I simply can't have that attitude of "who cares". As much as I try, it effects me.

In society, a lot of females are trained from a young age to only think of yourselves in relation to men. Therefor, what men say do "matter". It can be hard to undo this sort of damage. Where I grew up, this kind of sexism was rampant. I was always told to please men and never myself. No matter how logical we are, sometimes are emotions are stronger.

I think places like Torrid are empowering. The OP already feels crappy enough as it is. So I told her it's completely possible to still be beautiful, because I felt like she needed to feel like people were on her side.

I am on the OP's side. I believe that we all participate here with the intention of supporting each other, not bringing each other down.

I grew up in a very misogynistic society where a girl was told that her job in life was to learn to cook, clean, look beautiful, get & keep her husband for life, produce kids (preferably sons) and to always defer to her "lord & master" at all times. In fact, if you weren't married off by 22, you were considered an "old maid" destined for the shelf. Many girls in the cities did happen to get a decent education, but most girls in the rural or remote parts of the country rarely (if ever) made it out of their teens without a husband and kids to boot. If you happened to be dark-skinned, or fat, or "ugly", your family made sure that you heard it enough times until it sunk into your thick head that you were going to be a burden on them for life.

I have a lot of scars from my childhood. I don't feel comfortable sharing all the aspects of my background and my life experiences because I like my privacy but suffice it to say that I know (and empathize) with EXACTLY what you are saying and may have gone through. However, there comes a point in time when you need to heal, reject old (and hurtful) "values" and belief systems, and empower yourself. To allow hurtful and outdated judgment calls to continue having a hold over you is to set yourself up for a lifetime of emotional trauma.

My daughter was born with rich, olive skin. She was repeatedly picked on by a few racist brats in her class and told that she was a ugly, brown, duckling. Of course, I raised hell with the school but I also had to work very hard to undo the damage the teasing did to her. I made her stand in front of the bathroom mirror every day, four times a day, and tell her reflection "I love you", "You are a beautiful girl and I am your best friend" and "Wow, I am so glad I met you".

I urge you to try the same thing. Give it a shot for at least a month. This is a very simple paychological act that WILL makd you feel very different about yourself. YOU will believe that YOU are beautiful and that YOU deserve the best. My daughter cried the first few days and couldn't repeat those phrases to her image, but it has been more than a year now, and we do this together and giggle as we do it.

The thing about needing external validation is that people, in general, are fickle. So, measuring yourself and depending on them for support & reassurance is like looking for trouble, and can get you (and keep you) on an emotional roller coaster. BUT, if the validation comes from within, you will find emotional stability and a lot of inner peace. I urge you to please consider what I have said here with an open mind.

Just because your family or friends or your neighbors or the people in your life have been cruel and dismissive of you in the past does not mean that you are worthless without their esteem or validation or that they are the ones who should determine how worthy you are. No one gets to determine YOUR self -worth, except YOU. Now is as good a time as any other to seize their control over you and vest it for YOURSELF. NO ONE - and I do mean NO ONE - should be in a position of power and control over your emotions. You are your own person.

The OP will look good at any size and at any age. SHE just has to realize that she is.

Agreed, I was obese for a while but I just basically looked like what people think of as overweight.

I am now just overweight and still look overweight

As for the OP beauty is subjective. I can't really say.

I feel more confident at a UK size 12 (US size 8 ) than a UK size 18 (I've been both.) However below a UK size 12 doesn't do much to my confidence. I didn't get more confident when I was a UK size 8 (US 4). I'm currently a size 14 (US 10), which I feel better about than being a size 18.

That was just how I felt about it though. I don't really think my size made much difference in terms of my attractiveness to other people. There's more to attractiveness than how much fat you carry around. It is a deal-breaker for some people, but so are lots of other things.

Saying that stuff makes me feel worse because no matter how hard I try, I don't believe it. However, I have recently (in the past few years) rejected what people say. Of course, the more you challenge peoples' ideas, the more they will be dismissive of you. They expect you to shut up and take their insults. Well, I refuse. For a long time, though, I was in a position where people were in control of my emotions. Most of that wasn't my fault, as I was underage.

I had an eating disorder growing up. The reason why I don't really say anything about being healthy when someone gains weight is because I've been there. If you have low self esteem, it will follow you even if you lose the weight. So, it's of my opinion that if you can accept how you are RIGHT NOW, you can accept yourself no matter what. You have to learn to work with what is there. And I see a lot of blogs dedicated to fashion for bigger women. And let me say, they have more style than I've EVER had. ROFL.

I understand all of what you are saying and I appreciate someone like you commenting here. It can be encouraging. It's very hard for me to not care what men think at times, but I'd much rather be around men who understand I don't NEED their opinion. I'd rather people know I WANT to be around them, not that I have some sort of obligation.

I agree. I wear women's clothes. I wear makeup even though I'm taking a break from makeup for the summer even though I will still wear lipstick, lip gloss, lip stain, chapstick and lip balm because my lips get chapped very easily. I use hair gel and hairspray so my hair doesn't look like a frizzy mess. One of my passions is fragrance and skin care. I usually wear Lancome Miracle or Killer Queen by Katy Perry sometimes with the matching body lotion. I paint my nails and I just take pride in my appearance. I work out, but yesterday I fell on a wet floor on my way into the shower and hurt my right hip, elbow and arm so no exercise for today

You can notice the difference between a person who treats their appearance poorly and doesn't take pride in how they look and somebody who takes good care of themselves and is confident with how they look.

I think that prioritizing appearance is a symptom of a societal problem, a burden placed disproportionately on the shoulders of women. The relevant question shouldn't be how you look to others, but how you feel and your prospects at health and happiness in the future.

I was overweight for almost my entire life, and after a stressful semester gained 30 lbs that pushed me to a BMI of 31. I'm a major pear shape and am 5'10" and was a size 16/18 then at around 210 lbs. I felt fine with my appearance at 180-190 lbs and initially planned to stop losing at that point, which was a 27-28 BMI for me, but since I've lost 20 lbs more, I notice I can run farther, faster, with far less effort. It used to take me 15 minutes to do a mile and I'd be really out of breath, but now I can run a 10-minute mile pace for two miles straight and never be heaving out of breath, and the only thing that changed was the weight loss, as I hadn't been exercising until I got to 160. Stairs are easier, and my back problems have gotten substantially better. I have more energy throughout the day because things like walking are much easier on me. My parents both have osteoarthritis in middle age, so by keeping lighter I'm putting less stress on my bones and joints and maybe can postpone severe arthritis. Obesity increases cancer risks as well, and I have a strong family history for several cancers.

I certainly understand how one can be eating healthier foods and still gain weight, as weight gain or loss is all about the energy intake, not the nutritional value. You can lose weight on donuts and twinkies and soda or gain weight on kale and avocado and fish. Still, while being overweight on a diet of nutritious food is better than being overweight on a diet of junk food, there is still elevated health risks for people who are significantly overweight. Adipose tissue is endocrinologically active even if the body synthesized it from avocados and nuts and fish and not from soda and ice cream, and having a lot of excess weight will wear down joints faster no matter how healthy the rest of you is due to gravity. The heart has to work harder and wears down faster.

I know how difficult it is to resist overeating while on a drug that increases appetite, and not every drug that can cause that side effect will cause that side effect for you. If you do have to switch drugs and the new one has this effect, then you can talk to the doctor about what other options may exist, or alternatively, strategies to mitigate the drug-driven impulse to overeat.

Any woman is beautiful no matter what size or shape she is. :3 It's not what's on the outside that counts, but it's what's inside that matters the most. If people don't see that about you, then they aren't worth it.

The trouble is often people feel ugly on the inside too.

Yes u can. The only way for anyone not to be beautiful is to frown. All women who smile are pretty. If I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, it's usually because I'm already in a bad mood and that shows on my face--but at the moment, I sometimes end up projecting those feelings on features other than my facial expression.

Does. not. compute. I am not a woman, but personally, if I were I know I'd take offense if I spent lots of time and effort exercising/working out yet supposedly I wasn't any more attractive than some fat/obese woman that sat around all day.

LMAO!! !! !

are you serious?!?!?!

you think men PREFER obese women?!?!?

Uhm.....NO.

well, "any size" might be a stretch, but you dont have to be the size and shape of a model to be beautiful (actually, most models, especially runway ones, are not all that attractive really).
now, i'm european, so i don't really know what amounts to a size 18, but you certainly shouldn't be afraid to gain some weight, in my opinion, a few pounds over is better then a few pounds under

Yes you can. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.