What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

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I have noticed that it happens to me much more frequently when I am not rested enough.

The problem is that i sometimes do not realize that i am tired...

I cry and can't stop it and start breathing very fast and jerkily, feeling very much confused, sometimes i fall and sit on the floor. If people come and ask me to speak, i may start yelling and it is getting worse.


when I start crying:
- I try to quickly find a lonely place
- force myself to breathe very slow, or if worse, I stop breathing for 30 seconds, several times, this helps a lot
- shut down the lights
- sleep if I can

I think that sleeping good and enough is really the key. You too?

I cry my lungs out and sometimes scream especially if the cause is auditory but never hit/throw/smash things. The worst I do is biting myself or hitting my head over and over again with my hands maybe but these are on rare occasions.
As many of you said I can't process spoken words or speak either during a meltdown. My movements generally slow down too.

^^^Just love your avatar, well found

I don't know for sure if I'm autistic (I have just suspected it for nearly the past decade), but I also get "crying fits." Sometimes I can get them under control in around ten minutes, sometimes they last for 3+ hours. I can't control when and where I cry, so I did get lots of concerned talks from teachers in high school when I did my best to inform them that I just "cry easily" because I did not have a better way to explain it. Sometimes I shake my hands or hit things, sometimes I do not. I don't scream when I cry anymore, but I did as a kid and was repeatedly sent to the principal's office for it. I don't think I would count this as going nonverbal since I think it's a common physical reaction to the crying/rapid heart beat, but often right after crying my throat sort of closes up so I can't make any sounds other than squeaks/sobs for a while.

I find during a meltdown, the reason why I'm having one is because I'm frustrated that I can't understand something, particularly with social situations. I don't understand them, they don't understand me and I can't fix it. I get very worked up when my logic doesn't work when in a social conversation. And that person still doesn't understand no matter how hard I try.
I get the urge to act out physically but have no outlet for it because I have nothing that will satisfy my rage without causing damage plus i have a physical problem that causes weak muscles, so even if I can release it, I don't have the energy. So it causes more frustration until I cry hysterically. Talking to people can help, but I do it so often I feel people are tired of me. Plus they can't understand my over the top emotions associated with a meltdown and why I'm so intense. No one understands.

The term 'meltdown' was not something I was familiar with even for a while after my diagnosis.
It's a given that I did have rage fits as a child. One of the worst times this happened - I was swearing/shouting, had locked myself in the bathroom - actually caused me to burst some blood vessels in one of my eyes. I laugh about it now considering (at least one eye) did literally go red with rage.
But presently as an adult most of my emotional excesses are internalised. I never feel like I'm about to explode: I feel like I'm about to implode, hard to judge how often it happens, though. There's an insidious pressure throughout my whole body like a balloon filling up to the point where it will certainly burst, but doesn't/can't. It just feels different, somehow. I'll start pacing around aimlessly, my hands get all full of energy. I often find I'll be thinking angry thoughts about various past individuals or events that I have difficulty reconciling. I will get so upset I often outburst, physically, against myself. Whack myself hard on the head, or bash it against something. That last happened about a month ago. I had a rather incriminating bruise on my forehead leading into my hairline for over a week after which raised awkward questions. I'm just really, terminally stupid sometimes, but I think what upsets me the worst when thinking about all these things is that these episodes happen in complete silence.

it's an internalized affair for me as well. i can also repress them to an extent.
rage is directed towards myself and and anyone or anything else that is hurt is a consequence, not an intention.

everything is too much all at once, my heart races and i feel very hot and flushed, and the pressure keeps building inside until it forces its way out of me whether i like it or not. my head is a water balloon and becomes so filled that it bursts inside of my scull, and the tears like, drip, out of my eyes at first but quickly i need to really cry hard because the pressure hurts and i can't contain it. sometimes it presents as just crying, but there is screaming sometimes as well. banging on myself/otherwise hurting myself (although i'm much better with this now than i used to be). cannot process external-anything, cannot speak words. cannot breathe (gasping for air, choking on air).

the best thing to do when i know i'm on the edge of a meltdown is to find a dark, quiet space with a blanket or at least something to contain my body, put my headphones on, curl up into as tight of a ball as possible, and rock myself. alone. but of course it isn't always possible to make it to this space.

i have had the most problems with people trying to stop me in the process of a meltdown, which is understandable when i'm actually badly hurting myself but not helpful at all besides that. it makes me feel even more frustrated and overwhelmed. another thing is, once i've calmed down i shouldn't be held or consoled like NTs tend to think is helpful. it's not.

for recovery from a meltdown i can't eat for awhile but i like to have a drink that replenishes electrolytes. water with a squeeze of citrus and a pinch of salt, coconut water, or other electrolytey beverages. i may take a dose of ibuprofen for the lasting headache/other injury.

For me, meltdowns usually involve self-injury, whether it be cutting myself, hitting myself, or biting myself. I will sometimes scream and/or cry. I will also flail my arms around and start speaking really fast and quietly or sometimes I am unable to speak at all.

Yelling, frantic pacing, talking a mile a minute, choking on your words because you are thinking faster than you are speaking, adrenaline rush, crying, urge to punch or stomp, lots of cursing. LOL.

I don't have tantrums, I shut down. I'm unable to speak or process information and my heart races. I panic, quite simply. It's hopeless once it's started, to get over it I need to rest in a dark and quiet room.

Your parents didn't tell you? That is so wrong. I'm sorry that's putting such stress on your trust of them.

When I think of how I have learned that I have AS at the age of 27--I think I'm kind of grateful that I didn't know when I was younger (This is 100% my personal opinion, and NO one needs to agree with me.) For me though, I wish I learned around 20. I think learning later in life really helped me to develop more true to myself. And I think if I had known when I was younger, I would have looked at myself as different, and even less. Because I had to fight so much to know that THIS was who I am (without knowing who that exactly was), I didn't feel like I was disabled or whatever. I think with the environment I was in as a child, knowing I had AS BEFORE I had the full adult mind to see it in a good light, I think it would have actually made me feel less than other ppl at the time.

I do wish that I could have learned around 20 though, because without knowing, I ended up seeing myself in some pretty bad light. My anger for example, in my meltdowns! I was so afraid that I was a bad partner or person because of it, but for me I NEED to explode when I need to explode. It's SO healthy for me. I'm learning to not THROW things, thank God. But screaming and punching things is so healthy for me.

I got in a really bad relationship in which the person slowly tried to convince me that I was abusive and basically a terrible person. Without knowing I had AS, it was really hard to have anything to stand on. I kind of self destructed for a few years, and in learning about AS I've slowly been able to take back the truth of who I am.

I think it's wrong what your parents did, and you have every reason to be upset with them. That information is CRAZY important to your wholeness and sanity. I am glad that you're figuring it out now, no thanks to them.