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CaroleTucson
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29 May 2013, 4:39 pm

Or if not "over" you, then because of you?

This happened to me just this past weekend. I was at a picnic where there was no shortage of beer being consumed. This one particular guy, after who knows how many beers, started flirting with me, making mildly inappropriate remarks out loud, embarrassing me and the people around me.

When it became apparent to him that I wasn't going to respond to his advances, he began to get critical of me and tried to draw me into a political argument. At some point, yet a few more beers in, he loudly exclaimed that I was just another "liberal c*u*n*t".

At that, two of the other men in the group grabbed him and tried to take him back to his car. He got belligerent. They responded in kind. Before you could blink an eye, they were in a full-scale fistfight, people were screaming and running around, and within minutes two cop cars pulled up. To make a long story short, they hauled the guy off to jail.

I was in tears. I was grateful, of course, that the two men came to my defense, but mortified that the whole incident happened in the first place, and that, directly or indirectly, I was the cause of it.

Have you ever had this happen to you?



puddingmouse
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29 May 2013, 7:40 pm

No -





sorry about the short reply


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nessa238
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29 May 2013, 7:54 pm

Not actively fight but I've had several men interested in me at the same time and had several send an angry text or email to the other

I had a dirty text sent to me by someone I'd known in the past and my current bf saw it on my mobile (he shouldn't have been
checking it anyway) and he replied with a text saying 'Who the f-k is this?' lol

I only heard recently that another ex bf had sent an aggressive email to another ex as well

Another ex said he was on the verge of hitting a work colleague I was having a fling with at work at the time when he happened to go into the mens toilets at the same time as him on a works Christmas Do, but he restrained himself

The work colleague then further distinguished himself by drunkenly telling our boss he wanted to f-k his wife (who wasn't present) Lol - top of the list of things not to say at the Office Party!

Generally I don't tend to appeal to men who like to solve problems with their fists though (luckily!)


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Kjas
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29 May 2013, 8:25 pm

CaroleTucson wrote:
Or if not "over" you, then because of you?

This happened to me just this past weekend. I was at a picnic where there was no shortage of beer being consumed. This one particular guy, after who knows how many beers, started flirting with me, making mildly inappropriate remarks out loud, embarrassing me and the people around me.

When it became apparent to him that I wasn't going to respond to his advances, he began to get critical of me and tried to draw me into a political argument. At some point, yet a few more beers in, he loudly exclaimed that I was just another "liberal c*u*n*t".

At that, two of the other men in the group grabbed him and tried to take him back to his car. He got belligerent. They responded in kind. Before you could blink an eye, they were in a full-scale fistfight, people were screaming and running around, and within minutes two cop cars pulled up. To make a long story short, they hauled the guy off to jail.

I was in tears. I was grateful, of course, that the two men came to my defense, but mortified that the whole incident happened in the first place, and that, directly or indirectly, I was the cause of it.

Have you ever had this happen to you?


It's happened to me.

Mine wasn't as bad as yours, because when we drink in my culture, we don't drink past a certain point, which is really relatively light drinking.

But yes, I almost had 2 guys get into it 2 weeks ago over me, because someone I knew had been drinking more than usual and was being possessive, and another guy I knew was attempting to keep an eye on me and keep me safe (thankfully he had his head on fairly straight). It came very close to a fight because the first one was crossing lines and being too possessive - I warned both of them they wouldn't be coming back to that place if they did so both stopped just before punches started being thrown.

And I have had it happen at others times, that guys actually started fighting. It's one reason that I hate people drinking too much, people being disrespectful and another reason that I hate jealously.

I can't count the number of times it's almost evolved into fights: it's too many to count or remember. But where there is too much alcohol, men I know too well, and me, it's a viable possibility.
The number of actual times there have been fight is probably only about 3 - to be fair, all times were because men touched me where they shouldn't or hurt me, and my friends took it upon themselves to take care of it.


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Empathy
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21 Oct 2015, 2:44 pm

Fighting over a woman? Has it happened to me? Yes and no. If I had to describe anyone who takes on powerful women and loses there are plenty of celebrity status asses out there.

You choose your own status in life and nobody can decide for you. It either becomes a figment of truth or reprogram in the beholders eye, such as corrective prejudgement, not to say everybody likes their world changed upside down but if you’re with someone and crude comments are being made around you about something or someone, who steps in and provokes a fight? Its not going to be a sidestep around it, you’d probably need a barrister to break it up.

I’ve been in situations where there’s been combo for my attention and there’s nothing trivial about it.
I’ve also been in places where the main star attraction has had maybe one glance and all eyes are on me instead, not a feeling I enjoy although if its someone you like talking to, usually a flurry of sure envy follows.

Someone usually starts a verbal attack though for no reason other than to provoke and to lay it all out there and maybe something I lack in now, is the power to captivate rather than ignore the consequences of my own actions further pending anyone who started up a hate club manisfesto in the first place.
Stupid people who blatantly show disrespect for others in a thoroughbred disgust sort of a way and against genuine commodities, really get my back up for no reason other than to yet again, playing up to a crowd .

I can understand that in situations of hurt, a disguise is often needed to brandish out lost feelings of sorrow and regret but, to brandish the iron in someone s face who doesn’t deserve it, maybe one of the reasons onlookers and bystanders were invented and reproduced on billboards, to show active signs of awareness coupling deficiencies. I.e, marital affairs counselling. Too little, too much and not enough of the right substance breaks up the spirit of good tidings, and rather than throw around the tinsel in mock despair, someone comes by with a painted face and Rudolph ears.

Did I ever mention that time once in my first school play… I was one of the bunnies….. A few of them cried and bowed out? No? Well, that end is now nigh.

---Curtain Call--



IgA
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21 Oct 2015, 3:53 pm

Are you gathering this data for a reason (about men fighting over women) -- is it a poll to be used for something, or are you seeking to know if your experience is unique?

The following anecdote doesn't technically count as 'fighting over', in the literal sense, but can be included in a general sense.

I ended up married a few months before I was 19 years old, because a man said to me, "you have to go out with me because I don't like seeing you with other guys." I went along with his reasoning. I didn't understand it, but back then I didn't really understand a lot of what people said when they were being personal. I was taught my perceptions were not to be considered, and to follow anyone that was "grounded, rational, functional, polite, and charitable". The word follow, in this case, doesn't mean 'walk behind', but means to go along and let them lead; it is similar to the phrase 'follower of the Lord' (but I'm not religious).

I'm in my 30's now (we divorced 2 years after we were married because of many reasons). I know now the advice I was given was not good advice. The intention may have been good, but not sure. My life is more functional without anyone in my personal space. I need a stable work life that is separate from my home life (prefer to live solo). It is too difficult and unsustainable for me to live any other way. I don't follow anyone anymore, unless I want to learn something from them; the following is temporary. I let people follow me if they think I can teach them something, but the following must be temporary. I can't sustain it long-term.



aspieprincess123
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21 Oct 2015, 4:15 pm

When I was younger and had a wild 2 years when I was at uni. I did with a few people and two of them were a couple together. And they both wanted to try a threesome and I was openly bisexual said I would be willing to try it out.
Well the night came I was naked and at first it was fun we had a couple glasses of wine but then they decided as I let slip my nipples are sensitive to pleasure and they decided to both see who could give me more pleasure.
So there I was having a couple latched on at the time I was in cloud 9 but after my orgasm they started arguing big style and feeling guilty I put my nightie back on and retreated into my room. I heard them shouting about me.
He was shouting that I turned her gay and how I robbed him of his manhood. Then she was screaming about how I led him away and he's jealous women are better lovers. The next morning I found out they broke up and on the next two nights they each tried to seduce me.
After that incident I decided to leave it and not try a threesome again.



Edna3362
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21 Oct 2015, 5:16 pm

Online? Yes. Not just men, groups fought over me as well.

IRL? Yes. Went violently? Once.

If the reason is relationship, I dumped them all. Fighting over me is more than enough reason why I turn them all down. They can't decide for me :twisted: especially if it has something to do with competition; I'm not a 'prize'.
And I prefer to stay out of any competitions, regardless how serious it is. I could care less if someone is ready to take their own life for me, I don't want it if I don't want it.


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BirdInFlight
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22 Oct 2015, 1:00 pm

Not since I and the boys involved were about 14 years old.

There was a boy at school I had dated. We broke up, and a long while later another boy expressed interest in me. We went on a silly little date in which we just walked around in the rain on a Saturday afternoon. Didn't date further after that, it was all a bit meh. The first boy, who was a bit obsessive, picked a fight in the playground with the second boy when he heard that I had gone out with him.


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22 Oct 2015, 4:30 pm

I've never had men physically fight over me... but in college a bunch of guys I had dated at one point or another befriended one another and formed a mini hate/support-group =_=

I only know because I went over to one of their houses one day and saw an open im (because I'm old) talking about how much of an "ice queen" I am. ...so much for "Let's stay friends"


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Solimar0
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02 Dec 2015, 4:10 am

Not physically, And I hope that never happens. But an online friend became upset that I was dating another guy in real life. They eventually clashed on a forum we were all on. Emails were exchanged, some of it became public. It was extremely stressful. And to this day I'm not sure what they were even discussing exactly in the emails, since I don't talk to either of them anymore.



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02 Dec 2015, 1:36 pm

No, and I'd probably want to slap both of them if it ever did happen. What is the point of fighting over a person who, by definition, cannot be owned but only loved (or not)? It's an idiotic waste of time and energy.



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02 Dec 2015, 3:14 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Fighting over me is more than enough reason why I turn them all down. They can't decide for me :twisted: especially if it has something to do with competition; I'm not a 'prize'.


If fighting over you is more than enough reason for you to turn them all down, then all a jealous guy has to do to decide you're not dating someone else is to start physically assaulting him so there's a fight whether he wants it or not. They fight and you turn your would-be date down---mission complete.


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11 Dec 2015, 10:12 am

Thankfully this hasn't happened since I was 16. I was working at my local boy scout camp and, when I broke up with my boyfriend down the mountain, news traveled quickly throughout the camp among the staff. There was a guy named Sean who was really good looking and I was interested in, but for professional reasons and the fact that we lived an hour apart, we decided to not pursue a relationship.

Within two days of the word getting out of my break up, I started receiving love notes from a mystery man who slowly began to eliminate the other guys I worked with. He always seemed to know where I was at a given time during the day and always sent it via the same couple of coworkers. I later found out it was a kid a year younger than me, Nikolai, who worked in the mess hall and whom I hadn't spoken two words to. I was more than a little disturbed and made my lack of interest clear.

That's when things began to get disturbing. He tried to weasel his way into working with me as an excuse to pressure me into changing my mind about him, which my supervisor put a stop to. I then started getting word that he was trying to intimidate Sean, who was 6'3 while Nikolai was about 5'6 (let's just say it didn't work well) and then began to call Sean that slut behind his back. It got so bad that Nikolai was fired for his overall creepy behavior and was not hired the next year.



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13 Dec 2015, 5:17 pm

I wonder why I never hear or read a story like that where the good guy is 5'6, and the bad one is 6'3. Might makes right.


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Kyle Katarn
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15 Dec 2015, 4:16 am

I wish one day I will see two girls fighting over me, but that will always be just a dream.