Do you tend to get along better with male coworkers?

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I'm just wondering if other women have the same experience. I've found that I tend to have a harder time in workplace environments that are dominated by other women. But when it's mostly males, or at least a pretty even male/female ratio, I do a lot better and feel like I'm not such an outcast and I "fit in" a bit better. Maybe because males tend to not be as judgmental of people's quirks. And women can be harder to "read" because they give subtler social cues and have a bigger tendency to be passive-aggressive and hold grudges. I definitely tend to talk more to my male coworkers, and even joke around with them. I don't feel as comfortable doing that with many female coworkers. I'm also generally a lot more intimidated by female bosses than male ones. Male bosses also seem to like me better, while some female ones are more critical of me.

That hasn't been my experience, but I guess I've mostly worked in female-dominated fields. I tend to trust women easier than I do men. Also, based on my own anecdotal experiences, women tend to produce more quality work and put more effort into their jobs than men do. It's not universal, obviously, just a general thing I have noticed.
I don't tend to make friends at work either way though. I like to keep my work life and personal life as separate as I can.

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LOL check the comments. I have seen this phenomena before where women say they prefer male bosses/co-workers, and it's not by any means isolated. Just go to google or youtube and type "queen bee boss" or "female bosses" and there are endless articles/videos about it lol.

Well, you see... the truth is mostly women get along with other women at work better than with men, and vice versa - men get along at work better with other men than with women. The reason is varied, and depends on the situation, but generally - there are no emotional, romantic, or other boundaries or things to consider or be cautious/careful about when working with people who are the same gender as yours, because your brain works in a similar fashion, and because there is no attraction (unless we're talking about lesbian or gay co-workers, which is probably irrelevant here), there's no chance one of you would want the other's phone number or try to arrange a date, and so on.
That's why it leaves more time and space to focus on the work itself, I think.
However, I believe if you are willing to "try something new", it can be pleasant to work with men even if you're a woman, or even if you're the only woman in the workplace and surrounded by men, although such a situation can be embarassing for some people.
Have you ever tried to be in such a situation, and how did you feel when it happened?
Personally, I was in such a situation before. It wasn't at the workplace, but I was listening to a speech/lecture by a female professional and all the audience was female except me and maybe 2 other men who were there. I felt like an alien for a few moments, (hahahaha.... lol), like I'm not supposed to be there. But it was definitely an interesting experience.
However, if it's my regular workplace and I want to feel comfortable at work, I'd prefer probably to work mostly with men, but I won't refuse to sit or stand near a good looking woman beside me, even if me and her aren't going to be good friends or go on a date.

In my experience, while it may not be ideal, with men, men don't have to get along to get s**t done. Whereas women are a different story.

Yes but it has more to do with, which particular co-worker


For the reasons you wrote


And not much better

That makes it sound like a lot of men view women as possible romantic interests or fantasy fodder even in the workplace. Which is so irritating.
I know you aren't saying you personally do that, but so many men do.



I haven't ever tried to be in such a situation, but I suppose it's not out of the realm of possibility. I wouldn't really think about it until I was in that situation. From what I've read about being a woman in male-dominated fields it can be difficult because women face discrimination and harassment more often than they should, and it tends to be worse in those environments.

I work most closely with an older man in a position of authority at my job and I've had to push back on some things and set boundaries, because he tried to take advantage of my willingness to work hard. It's exhausting to have to do that all the time.



It's almost as if you felt like you were... On the Wrong Planet.
End scene, roll credits.

Sometimes you just have to learn to get used to things, or just learn to get along with other people at your workplace. However, even though I have no idea what your job is(and you dont have to tell me if you dont want to, but I'd be glad to find out), it sounds to me as if your workplace could be more convenient and comfortable than it is right now.
Also, since most if not all people on Wrongplanet have atleast some type of autism, perhaps you are receiving a different treatment or maybe even, less respect(by respect I also mean respecting your emotions, feelings, not just being polite with words), because of the autism you have.
This is nothing to be ashamed of. To tell you the truth, I've been through hell and nightmares back in high school, and I failed exams just because of the bullying I had. It's because of that I have a very normal, low salary and inferior office job at the moment, which might not ever change.
So, I'm not going to turn this discussion very personal, but if I had a better understanding of what situation you are in, at your job(again, whatever your job is), I would be able to tell you what I think a lot better. But, I can assume anyone, not just you personally, has to deal with some job problems as someone with a certain type of autism.
I think, however, at your age(29, assuming that is accurate. some people write they're 30 but they're 20, so I dont believe everything I read on people's forum profiles. I'm really 31 though.), I think you're old and mature enough to be able to deal with almost any job related issues, and actually it's part of any job - that you have to deal with uncomfortable situations sometimes, there's no such thing as a 100% pain free or stress free job.
Some people are willing to give up on a lot to stay in their jobs. Unemployment is a very scary thing these days.
Have you been staying in your current job mostly because of that? Because you're afraid to become jobless/unemployed and you're willing to deal with all the problems and tolerate them?
For me, that has almost always been the case. When you lose your job, it's especially difficult at that point to find another one.
But, I do hope that atleast as time goes by, and co-workers get to know each other better, they also learn how to deal with problems more easily.

Definitely, it's true that any job is stressful and having autism makes that more complicated. I have a pretty good job and make decent money, but I decided to quit at the end of this month and focus on finishing a few classes and working part-time. I also want to be able to volunteer more, especially at my kids' school. It was a risk for me to take this job, I was content with my previous job. I was observing some of the clinics of this doctor I now work with. His assistant left and he encouraged me to apply for the job, so I did. I make more money at this job than my last one, but the work environment is worse than normal ones (I don't want to go into details so as to not to make this post too long). It was a difficult decision to leave. I find the cases at the clinic I work in very interesting too... hopefully they'll let me keep coming in as a volunteer. I'll have to see if I can or not. I also have a co-worker who has become my friend, and leaving her is hard for me too.

100%

I couldn't agree with you more on every single point. I've always found men much easier to work with, and I find females bosses particularly terrifying. Everything you say is true for me.

I prefer working with men, and male bosses

The last time I had a part-time job, it was mostly with female coworkers. I could get along with males just fine, but there happened to be more females. Also, I got along with the ladies because a couple of them (one in particular) took me under their wing and helped me to be more social and engage the customers. I hadn't been diagnosed with autism yet, so my coworkers seemed to think I was just a shy girl, and worked with me to help me become better at talking to people. It was nice to have a mentor of sorts. Everyone there was very helpful and supportive of me. I guess because I was such a hard worker, it made up for my social difficulties?

I have always found that I tend to get along better with males than with females
Statistically speaking
If a male is aggressive towards me it really leaves me feeling stung and I never forget, but it does not happen often
I just find females make me feel more alien and even if they are nice I never seem to get beyond the barrier
I'm 52 and I have never been invited to a single social event outside of the work place that wasn't because of work
At my last work place, after being there over three years, the ladies who treated me like a friend every day made a plan to go to the movies together right in front of me at the lunch table and didn't think to invite me
A girls night out
Maybe they don't think I'm a girl
Can't see because my boobs are in the way

I think in some ways people of the opposite sex expect you less to adhere to certain gender stereotypes. They expect you less to be just like them. That can make it easier to get along with them if you don't fit in perfectly well. However, if you do fit in well enough, there may be a better connection with your own sex, due to more similar interests and more similar mindsets and less risk of ambiguity when it comes to possible romantic interests and less risk of sexism towards your sex.

Personally I don't necessarily find it easier to get along with men or with women. It doesn't really matter. However, I often have an easier time with women who work in gender neutral or male dominated fields than with women who work in some of the female dominated fields.

No, men kind of scare me and I'm more on guard around them

Not sure. In high school and college I would have said "yes". In my workplace I don't have a choice, so "maybe?" but had plenty of good experiences (albeit brief). I work in a male-dominated part of IT now. That said, in the first ten years of my employment - I first worked with two women and found one very intimidating. I briefly worked aside a female manager and she was fabulous. I worked very briefly for another female manager and she was fantastic! I had a female VP who helped me out (unsolicited) and a female Dir who gave me my first constructive -encouraging- criticism. I had another female manager which was a neutral experience. I didn't realize I had worked with so many women! I have been fortunate with the women I have "met" in my workplace. Just that one initial "bad apple". My group did hire a second woman a few years ago; we don't talk much and seems uncomfortable with me, but that's no different from how I relate to the other remote (male) co-workers.