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Snowy Owl
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16 Nov 2019, 10:15 pm

I am afraid of males and men since a child that they will overwhelm me physically or mentally
I have had both men and women be cruel to me but why only fear men so much?
Anyone explain this to help me?



BTDT
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16 Nov 2019, 10:35 pm

Are you still afraid if they are the same size or smaller than you?



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Snowy Owl
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16 Nov 2019, 10:49 pm

BTDT wrote:
Are you still afraid if they are the same size or smaller than you?

Thank you for reply I not afraid of little boys but of only teenager boys and men



Fireblossom
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17 Nov 2019, 11:15 am

You say both genders have been cruel to you, but has there been something horrible that a man has done to you that a woman hasn't? Could that be the difference?

Also, since you say you aren't afraid of kids but the adults and teenagers, it's highly likely that the difference in physical power is at least a part of what frightens you. While there are some men who are very weak physically and some women that are very strong physically, most of the time it's the men who are stronger and could easily cause a lot of harm to an average woman if they wanted to.



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Snowy Owl
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18 Nov 2019, 4:07 am

Fireblossom wrote:
You say both genders have been cruel to you, but has there been something horrible that a man has done to you that a woman hasn't? Could that be the difference?

Also, since you say you aren't afraid of kids but the adults and teenagers, it's highly likely that the difference in physical power is at least a part of what frightens you. While there are some men who are very weak physically and some women that are very strong physically, most of the time it's the men who are stronger and could easily cause a lot of harm to an average woman if they wanted to.

I feel safer with some men that know very well it not only physical power that frighten me many women are stronger than me but I not fear them
Some men have scare me with their loud voice and some said rude things
They frighten me when they look at me too long and I not know what they think or want and worry what they will do and sometimes feel like lamb and wolf
I'm not sure exactly what is am afraid of but not feel safe and am very cautious until I know them



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19 Nov 2019, 11:25 am

Why a should woman be afraid of men? Two words: Incel terrorists. They also stole the word incel from a woman who had meant it to be harmless. The things they post are incredibly disgusting and pure evil. Ever since that incel terrorist attack in Toronto I have been afraid. It hasn't stopped me for standing up for my rights, but it has made me very, very afraid.



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Snowy Owl
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22 Nov 2019, 3:35 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
Why a should woman be afraid of men? Two words: Incel terrorists. They also stole the word incel from a woman who had meant it to be harmless. The things they post are incredibly disgusting and pure evil. Ever since that incel terrorist attack in Toronto I have been afraid. It hasn't stopped me for standing up for my rights, but it has made me very, very afraid.

Yes that was scary but I afraid before that



languagehopper
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27 Nov 2019, 3:54 pm

I am too. I used to think it was because I grew up without a father or a brother or an uncle in my life so they seemed like alien beings especially as the books I read were full of men taking advantage of women and men clearly got the best of everything in the world. I felt more comfortable around males for a while while my sons were growing up, although their father's dreadful temper didn't help. I became very comfortable with teenage boys when there were always crowds of them in the house. But sadly now my boys are grown up I find myself afraid of them too:( Eldest is severely autistic and regularly bit me and pulled my hair which was tolerable when he was small but he eventually had to go into residential care because he became bigger and stronger than me and I could no longer manage him. Then last year my 30 yr old middle son picked me up, squeezed me so hard he bruised a rib and threw me onto the floor and now I am scared of him too. Back to square one!


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Snowy Owl
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28 Nov 2019, 5:24 am

languagehopper wrote:
I am too. I used to think it was because I grew up without a father or a brother or an uncle in my life so they seemed like alien beings especially as the books I read were full of men taking advantage of women and men clearly got the best of everything in the world. I felt more comfortable around males for a while while my sons were growing up, although their father's dreadful temper didn't help. I became very comfortable with teenage boys when there were always crowds of them in the house. But sadly now my boys are grown up I find myself afraid of them too:( Eldest is severely autistic and regularly bit me and pulled my hair which was tolerable when he was small but he eventually had to go into residential care because he became bigger and stronger than me and I could no longer manage him. Then last year my 30 yr old middle son picked me up, squeezed me so hard he bruised a rib and threw me onto the floor and now I am scared of him too. Back to square one!

Thank you with helpful reply me too not grow up with males as only mum and I



DorkyNerd
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08 Dec 2019, 2:06 am

When a woman has ASD, it is like she has an invisible sign pinned to her chest. It reads "Please rape and rob me!"

Even ASD men realize she is incredibly easy prey. Even they stalk and attack and exploit her.

If it is that obvious to an ASD man, how obvious must it be to an NT?!

You are probably right to be terrified of them.



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08 Dec 2019, 9:34 am

DorkyNerd wrote:
When a woman has ASD, it is like she has an invisible sign pinned to her chest. It reads "Please rape and rob me!"

Even ASD men realize she is incredibly easy prey. Even they stalk and attack and exploit her.

If it is that obvious to an ASD man, how obvious must it be to an NT?!

You are probably right to be terrified of them.

How do I unpin this "easy prey" sign from my chest?



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08 Dec 2019, 10:00 am

Maybe you can't. Maybe it will stay with you for life.

But it helps to ask NT people for their input. I used to belong to a forum for people who are interested in science. I struck up a sort-of friendship with a middle-aged NT woman from Australia. I told her about a boy from my college.

Her response was basically "I am on the other side of the world and from your stories alone, I can tell he's got massive issues. He shouldn't be in a serious relationship with anyone, let alone you!"

And these were the censored stories, by the way. I didn't tell her everything.



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08 Dec 2019, 12:03 pm

I am a professional and at work when men raise their voices at me I get scared (hurt); there are no women at work who have done that, but then I don't work with many women. Recently in a public setting, a woman treat me rudely and I called her out on it (I was a bit embarrassed by near explosive response, but I hadn't been treated poorly like that in a while.)

I am fragile but I am also fierce. I have been known to go from "meek" to punching when I feel physically threatened. Whoa to the man who tries to physically abuse me... too many (AS like) women I know have been hurt (to say the least) and I have latent anger about that.

Do you give yourself permission to be fierce if necessary? I imagine a person would feel very vulnerable if she had no way to defend herself when necessary. I have taught my children that when they sense danger to make a BIG scene (so many kids are taught to generally "behave" and it interferes with their ability to respond in crisis situations).

I am able to defend myself against physical abuse, but emotional abuse? Not so much.



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14 Dec 2019, 2:11 pm

I do have some male friends, and in social settings this is not as much of a problem.

When it comes to men I don't know when I'm alone, I admit I'm scared. When a man is much physically larger and stronger than me, this will get me nervous too if we are alone together. My mom has warned me many times about worst-case-scenario situations when I go out so I guess this stirred the pot of anxiety.


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15 Dec 2019, 7:45 pm

DorkyNerd wrote:
When a woman has ASD, it is like she has an invisible sign pinned to her chest. It reads "Please rape and rob me!"

Even ASD men realize she is incredibly easy prey. Even they stalk and attack and exploit her.

If it is that obvious to an ASD man, how obvious must it be to an NT?!

You are probably right to be terrified of them.


I'm not sure to what extent I'm even entitled to participate here, but...

I'm not so sure it's ASD as anxiety that pins that note to one's chest. I've had a few female friends in my life who didn't have ASD but most certainly had that same note pinned to their chest. The one woman got mugged twice in 36 hours in the same parking lot. She lived a 3 minute walk from work, got mugged twice between work and home. I'd propose that anxiety is the common factor, since how common it is within the ASD community, as well as that it's seemed to be a common thread with non-ASD folks who seem to deal with the same issue.


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17 Dec 2019, 5:16 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
DorkyNerd wrote:
When a woman has ASD, it is like she has an invisible sign pinned to her chest. It reads "Please rape and rob me!"

Even ASD men realize she is incredibly easy prey. Even they stalk and attack and exploit her.

If it is that obvious to an ASD man, how obvious must it be to an NT?!

You are probably right to be terrified of them.


I'm not sure to what extent I'm even entitled to participate here, but...

I'm not so sure it's ASD as anxiety that pins that note to one's chest. I've had a few female friends in my life who didn't have ASD but most certainly had that same note pinned to their chest. The one woman got mugged twice in 36 hours in the same parking lot. She lived a 3 minute walk from work, got mugged twice between work and home. I'd propose that anxiety is the common factor, since how common it is within the ASD community, as well as that it's seemed to be a common thread with non-ASD folks who seem to deal with the same issue.


I think it could also be a problem among shy, introverts. Of course, anxiety seems to be a bigger problem for this group than extroverts. We’re also more likely to be alone than the extroverts. Perhaps timidity prevents us from walking with the air of confidence that would suggest trouble, a fight, and a hard knee to the groin to a would-be attacker.

People who have been victimized once are more likely to be victimized again.


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