I feel so unattractive

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https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... gle-answer
“After 20 years working as a makeup artist I can say quite confidently that women wear makeup for themselves,” Lisa Eldridge, the author of Face Paint: The Story of Makeup, tells me. “There are many different roles makeup can play in a woman’s life. There’s the playful and creative aspect – who doesn’t enjoy swirling a brush in a palette of colour? Then there’s the confidence-building aspect – why not cover a huge red blemish on your nose, if you can? Finally, there is an element of war paint and tribalism. Makeup can make you feel more powerful and ready to face any situation.”

The problem with bad teeth is that they make you hide them. You are less attractive if you don't smile, and that is often what you do to hide them.

I think most women wear makeup due to gender/peer pressure, and women have it drummed into them that makeup will make you look beautiful. I actually feel more unattractive around other women than I do men, which is what I've been trying to say in this thread. I work at a garage with guys, and I feel I can be myself. But when I'm around my female friends or cousins I suddenly feel alienated because I don't wear makeup like they all seem to. Even my lesbian cousin takes time over putting makeup on and styling her hair, even though she's into sports and is a star football player in her local team. I'm sure she only cakes makeup on her face to impress guys, even though she's 100% lesbian (not bi) and is happily in a relationship with a girlfriend. It's a confidence boosting strategy. And most guys seem to fancy women that wear makeup. Only very few don't care for women with makeup, like my boyfriend for example.

Lighting and angles make a really big difference, especially light. That's one of the first things photographers learn. (:

Another reason why I think I'm unattractive or unapproachable is because when I'm with my mum nearly every male stranger (or sometimes female) says hello to her, but I always get ignored, even if I smile. I know you're all going to say "you probably look sad/you probably look unfriendly", let me just explain. My mum is battling a life-threatening disease and although she looks physically well on the outside she is suffering anxiety and depression, which does often show on the outside. She says she avoids eye contact with strangers and feels low and disconnected to the world, but if she does accidentally meet someone's eye for half a second they say hello, even if she isn't smiling. Why do I get ignored and my mum doesn't? Usually people say hi to people because they're attractive. So that just proves that I'm unattractive. The only time I do get strangers saying hello is when I'm somewhere rather quiet and isolated and passing dog-walkers. But my mum gets people saying hi in the town.

You are describing autism. A "normal" person can interact nonverbally instinctively, or without effort. Someone with autism can't. This is part of masking. With enough effort someone who is autistic may be able to act out nonverbal communication, but it is not instinctive, nor can it be done without effort. In fact, masking is hard work and draining for many aspies, just like doing the hardest studies at school.

Many autistic woman have learned to mask well enough that their autism goes undiagnosed, even though there are obvious hints , like they are the mother of two autistic boys.

A little masking isn't necessarily bad if it give you the attention you need.

Have you considered using a little bit of makeup before you go out?

The female experience is a confusing, uncomfortable one. Sometimes I feel like I am in the twilight zone.

It may also be that men are now waiting for women to "make the first move."
If a women makes no eye contact and doesn't wear makeup, isn't that a sign she wishes to be left alone?

I don't want to significantly attract men, but if I get attention from men it boosts my self-esteem. I feel self-conscious when out in public, and I feel like an alien when I'm around other women that wear makeup, so I feel under pressure to have to wear makeup if I want to feel as attractive as the others. If I was a guy I wouldn't have to rely on makeup to be attractive.
Also I have trouble with my eyes and sometimes I get a flare up of conjunctivitis, which would feel very uncomfortable with eye makeup on.

Hey Jo, you already said you weren't ugly so you must be pretty; the kinds of guys who think you are beautiful without your makeup may not be the kind who like complementing women on their looks. It's a possibility.