I feel so unattractive
You’re basing your self esteem on attention that you get from men.
Do your cousins wear makeup? How do they dress? Perhaps get a similar style to your cousins. You are at least average looking.
If you were “ugly” many people would have told you by now. You would have even been bullied for being “ugly” in school.
I haven't said I'm ugly, just unattractive.
I don't think it's the way I dress as I'm rather up with the fashion and I know which clothes to wear, though due to some sensory issues I tend to avoid wearing things with big tags that even leave a sharp, itchy feeling when you cut them out. Clothing tags have always been an issue for me when it comes to dressing.
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Female
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... gle-answer
“After 20 years working as a makeup artist I can say quite confidently that women wear makeup for themselves,” Lisa Eldridge, the author of Face Paint: The Story of Makeup, tells me. “There are many different roles makeup can play in a woman’s life. There’s the playful and creative aspect – who doesn’t enjoy swirling a brush in a palette of colour? Then there’s the confidence-building aspect – why not cover a huge red blemish on your nose, if you can? Finally, there is an element of war paint and tribalism. Makeup can make you feel more powerful and ready to face any situation.”
The problem with bad teeth is that they make you hide them. You are less attractive if you don't smile, and that is often what you do to hide them.
“After 20 years working as a makeup artist I can say quite confidently that women wear makeup for themselves,” Lisa Eldridge, the author of Face Paint: The Story of Makeup, tells me. “There are many different roles makeup can play in a woman’s life. There’s the playful and creative aspect – who doesn’t enjoy swirling a brush in a palette of colour? Then there’s the confidence-building aspect – why not cover a huge red blemish on your nose, if you can? Finally, there is an element of war paint and tribalism. Makeup can make you feel more powerful and ready to face any situation.”
The problem with bad teeth is that they make you hide them. You are less attractive if you don't smile, and that is often what you do to hide them.
Makeup is absolutely disgusting to me. I hate the way it feels on my face but I still wear it because I feel pressured to do so. I would rather not wear it and if it weren’t for societal pressure I would never ever wear it. I hate it with a passion. I don’t understand women that actually like smearing the crap on their face.
I don’t feel powerful in makeup. I feel gross and like I am wearing a mask to hide myself.
I think most women wear makeup due to gender/peer pressure, and women have it drummed into them that makeup will make you look beautiful. I actually feel more unattractive around other women than I do men, which is what I've been trying to say in this thread. I work at a garage with guys, and I feel I can be myself. But when I'm around my female friends or cousins I suddenly feel alienated because I don't wear makeup like they all seem to. Even my lesbian cousin takes time over putting makeup on and styling her hair, even though she's into sports and is a star football player in her local team. I'm sure she only cakes makeup on her face to impress guys, even though she's 100% lesbian (not bi) and is happily in a relationship with a girlfriend. It's a confidence boosting strategy. And most guys seem to fancy women that wear makeup. Only very few don't care for women with makeup, like my boyfriend for example.
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Female
Lighting and angles make a really big difference, especially light. That's one of the first things photographers learn. (:
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The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits
Another reason why I think I'm unattractive or unapproachable is because when I'm with my mum nearly every male stranger (or sometimes female) says hello to her, but I always get ignored, even if I smile. I know you're all going to say "you probably look sad/you probably look unfriendly", let me just explain. My mum is battling a life-threatening disease and although she looks physically well on the outside she is suffering anxiety and depression, which does often show on the outside. She says she avoids eye contact with strangers and feels low and disconnected to the world, but if she does accidentally meet someone's eye for half a second they say hello, even if she isn't smiling. Why do I get ignored and my mum doesn't? Usually people say hi to people because they're attractive. So that just proves that I'm unattractive. The only time I do get strangers saying hello is when I'm somewhere rather quiet and isolated and passing dog-walkers. But my mum gets people saying hi in the town.
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Female
You are describing autism. A "normal" person can interact nonverbally instinctively, or without effort. Someone with autism can't. This is part of masking. With enough effort someone who is autistic may be able to act out nonverbal communication, but it is not instinctive, nor can it be done without effort. In fact, masking is hard work and draining for many aspies, just like doing the hardest studies at school.
Many autistic woman have learned to mask well enough that their autism goes undiagnosed, even though there are obvious hints , like they are the mother of two autistic boys.
You are so obsessed with male attention. You are giving them too much power over you. Men are not gods. I could understand if you didn’t already have a boyfriend. What did you do to first get your boyfriend to notice you? Try this with other men.
Many autistic woman have learned to mask well enough that their autism goes undiagnosed, even though there are obvious hints , like they are the mother of two autistic boys.
I agree and slightly off topic:
I think many women, perhaps most, thrive on male attention. I think our society makes most women this way. The difference between most women whom are neurotypical (NT) versus Joe90 who is autistic is that they (the NT women) know how to get the attention they crave.
And this is why I am not a believer in the whole (fake) female empowerment and metoo movement crap. One minute these women are screaming about the evil, awful men then the next minute they are smiling and catering to these same men that are supposed to be “evil” and “bad”. Silly female social rules dictate that women are to (pretend to) be so empowered and above men even though deep down inside they rely on men for everything and I mean everything from self esteem to financial support.
Have you considered using a little bit of makeup before you go out?
I agree and also, Joe90 how is you weight? Should you go to the gym? Men like “nice” bodies. Since you want male attention you are going to have to make yourself uncomfortable to earn it. Masking is uncomfortable, wearing makeup is uncomfortable, dieting is uncomfortable, dressing “sexy” is uncomfortable and the list goes on...
I don't want to significantly attract men, but if I get attention from men it boosts my self-esteem. I feel self-conscious when out in public, and I feel like an alien when I'm around other women that wear makeup, so I feel under pressure to have to wear makeup if I want to feel as attractive as the others. If I was a guy I wouldn't have to rely on makeup to be attractive.
Also I have trouble with my eyes and sometimes I get a flare up of conjunctivitis, which would feel very uncomfortable with eye makeup on.
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Female
Hey Jo, you already said you weren't ugly so you must be pretty; the kinds of guys who think you are beautiful without your makeup may not be the kind who like complementing women on their looks. It's a possibility.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
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