Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,698
Location: England

07 Jun 2021, 8:09 pm

Now, I know it's been said before, but the body positivity movement has some rather toxic corners. To the point where I associate the term with negativity. It's often framed as a competition, which was never supposed to be the goal. A woman is not defined by her curves or lack thereof and I dislike narratives that pit women against each other based on body type. I've never felt welcome in such circles. Seems ironic since it was supposed to be about positivity and respecting all types of women's bodies and feeling comfortable in your body, but there is an awful lot of gatekeeping that goes on.

I think that's a shame. So, I decided to create this thread as a space to talk about body insecurities and what makes you feel confident about your body / how you overcame that insecurity.

- Personally, I've felt insecure about having broad shoulders before. However, what helped me feel more at ease was stumbling upon a video on how to style broad shoulders. It suggested trying square-cut or vest tops which actually helped me feel more comfortable with how I look. Often with tops that have high necklines they also tend to hug my shoulders a little bit tight even when the shirt is the right size (or have puffy sleeves which I'm not a fan of). I found that tops with lower necklines are more comfortable on my body and I've grown to like how my shoulders look in them.


_________________
Possibly B.A.P.
22.


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,659
Location: Inferno Faction

07 Jun 2021, 9:14 pm

I’ve always had a belly since I started Risperdal when I was 7 (I think??) and used to hate it but now at 27 (I’ll be 28 this week) I’ve just realized that it’s just a body part.

I feel my best when I look my best. I love putting on cute outfits and makeup. I’ve learned how to find clothes that I feel good in.


_________________
“The most sophisticated people I know- inside they are all children “
-Jim Henson


StickBugette
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2021
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: Washington, DC, USA

17 Jun 2021, 8:28 am

I still struggle with this. But my focus now is my body's functionality, not it's appearance.
My body does a lot for me, and my body houses my soul.

Also, I love makeup and find it a huge confidence builder to "do up" my face.



MossyRocks
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 21 Apr 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 6

24 Jun 2021, 10:37 pm

I think body neutrality is a more productive mindset. Is your body healthy, what do you like to decorate it with, etc?



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,340
Location: Poland

25 Jun 2021, 3:55 am

Doing healthy things out of genuine care for the body you have is much healthier than doing the same things out of hate and wishing it to be different.
I spent some time researching styles and colors to fit my natural shape and composition. My "upper half" is heavier than my "lower half" and I have tricky Soft Autumn colors so I had to learn a bit how to look aesthetically.

In my teens, I discovered that the girls found attractive were the ones who found themselves attractive. I was an ugly duckling back then. I decided to try it on myself and it resulted in looking in the mirror, changing my hairstyle and... getting my first boyfriend a few months later :D


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 25,976
Location: Pacific Northwest

25 Jun 2021, 11:48 am

I've had stretch marks, red spots, visible veins since puberty, plus cellulite and loose skin. I've felt like I had a body of an old woman because I associate visible veins with elderly and loose skin. I think their veins are just more visible due to thinning skin, mine isn't thinning yet so no one notices my veins but me. I also started to get expression lines in my teens as well on my fore head and around mouth but they were not that noticeable then so they didn't bother me. Now they do because I have lost all volume in my face from weight loss so my face is skinny and it's just skin and bone so lines around my mouth have gotten deeper.

I might get a filler but it's expensive. I really don't want to put on some weight to attempt to gain fat in my face again.

I have also had a little bit of tummy too. I just do exercises to tone my body, drink water, moisturize my skin, use sun screen to protect it and look good for my age as I get older. Plus I use sun glasses and brim hats. Plus body type comes to mind so some of us will have a little bit of a belly and everyone has different shaped faces too due to different bone structure. I have always had a broad chest.

I still have good skin elastin for my age. I don't want to lose any more weight or I will get more saggy skin and wrinkles.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,659
Location: Inferno Faction

25 Jun 2021, 4:09 pm

magz wrote:
Doing healthy things out of genuine care for the body you have is much healthier than doing the same things out of hate and wishing it to be different.
I spent some time researching styles and colors to fit my natural shape and composition. My "upper half" is heavier than my "lower half" and I have tricky Soft Autumn colors so I had to learn a bit how to look aesthetically.

In my teens, I discovered that the girls found attractive were the ones who found themselves attractive. I was an ugly duckling back then. I decided to try it on myself and it resulted in looking in the mirror, changing my hairstyle and... getting my first boyfriend a few months later :D

I agree with researching styles and aesthetics.

I put on weight in my lower abdomen and my butt. My upper body stays consistent but I’ve researched all sorts of clothes options and found that tunic style tops, flowy dresses, peasant blouses and elastic waist jeans work best for me. I love form fitting men’s and unisex tees because they define my smaller bust (I’m only a C cup) and fit my wide shoulders better.

I have 44.5-45-48 measurements (in inches).


_________________
“The most sophisticated people I know- inside they are all children “
-Jim Henson


that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 842
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies

22 Jul 2021, 6:31 pm

I have tiny boobs, and I have discovered that "boat" neckline clothing is very flattering to small-busted women!

Also if your hip/waist/butt/thigh ratios make pants a nightmare, skirts are your friend! (And they come in every length: mini to maxi and everything in between!) Loose flowy skirts are the most comfy :heart:


_________________
...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!