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Jakki
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17 Jan 2022, 9:51 pm

idk how , but the girls in my family were severely punished aswell for crying just not physically, but psychologically .


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theprisoner
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17 Jan 2022, 9:51 pm

Okay, not to derail this thread, but.....since cyberdad brought it up

Hot!
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Nice!
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Very nice! !(but very evil )
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Aggressive, yet Attractive!
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Maybe its cause she's a redhead, and shes so fiesty.


Prolactin. Yeah, that released post ---something or other :wink: --- isn't it. Yep.

Crying is just release of emotions, that have been generated in sub-conscious. It's cathartic. It's somatic. I also cannot cry in front of others.


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auntblabby
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17 Jan 2022, 9:53 pm

with my parenting it was "shaddup or i'll REALLY give you something to cry about, simp!"



IsabellaLinton
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17 Jan 2022, 9:58 pm

I just started my Les Mis video ^^ and started bawling. My daughter walked through the room and I had to pause the video and force myself to stop crying. She didn't even look at me so I don't know what my problem is. Even here in the dark I didn't want tears on my face in case she might notice a shimmer.



auntblabby
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17 Jan 2022, 10:02 pm

^^can you tell me why you don't want your daughter to see your tears? i don't mean to cause offense with this question.



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17 Jan 2022, 10:05 pm



I'm reminded of some old Bill Burr stuff. Warning for language etc. A horrible, horrible way to live your life...

While some may not approve of the emotional control forever beaten into most men, it does have its uses in hard times - that ability to switch off all distractions and move mountains. The way the world is going, I fear a great deal will be required soon.


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theprisoner
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17 Jan 2022, 10:06 pm

For me its, Its an uncomfortable vulnerable feeling. I could never Cry in front of others. I don't care who it is, or how close they are. They'd have to forcible rip those tears out, to where its uncontrollable. I would fight those tears every second they threatened to leak out.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jan 2022, 10:11 pm

auntblabby wrote:
^^can you tell me why you don't want your daughter to see your tears? i don't mean to cause offense with this question.


I wish I knew. I guess I'm protecting her, because our trauma is inter-connected. If I lose it, she'll lose it too. She's going through enough and I have to try to be her rock.

When she left the room she said "Oh, did I hear Les Mis when I was coming downstairs, or was I imagining it?"

8O

I actually said no, in a high-pitched strained voice. :( Not that I'm in the habit of lying, but she caught me off guard and I knew if I said yes or continued the song I'd start crying again. Now I'm upset that I didn't just say yes. She loves Les Mis just like I do.


Mikah: I didn't watch the video but I agree with your statement, and that was a beautiful poem.



auntblabby
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17 Jan 2022, 10:15 pm

^^^that is a noble thing to do for your daughter, Isabella :star: i wear my emotions on my sleeves despite my upbringing and time in the army. i remember being in the ER and tearing up in front of a nurse when i heard some little girl in the next birth screaming in agony and fear as they were poking her, and the nurse laughed at me. she [nurse] was a sociopathic witch AFAIC.



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17 Jan 2022, 10:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
How do men manage to not cry much? . . .
The others can cite all the psychological theories and do all the virtue-signaling they want; but for me, it all comes down to one simple fact of male life: No one wants to see a boy or a man cry. 

We are discouraged from crying since boyhood, and then insulted if we cry anyway -- we get compared to babies, girls, and puppies; we are called "queer", "too sensitive", and "weak"; and we are threatened with slappings, spankings, and banishments to the basement if we do not stop crying.

This basically at least for our generation, maybe not so much for the selfie generation.

I find for myself and other guys it gets harder to hold it in as you get old.


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theprisoner
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17 Jan 2022, 10:25 pm

Ive only read the book. (Victor Hugo.) And seen the 1998 film adaption with Liam Neeson.

I can't remember last time i cried in front of somebody. Maybe when i was a little kid, and i was in a fight, wimp move, i know. It stopped the fight though. Oh another time, a older kid got hold of me, punched me in the stomach, and threatened to beat me up, i think i started crying then also, begging for mercy. This is all before i was even in double digits. Oh yeah i was headbutted once, not in a fight, just another kid decided to test that move out, i said okay, and it made me tear up. "damn that hurt." I'm sure i had many accidents, climbing over and falling off things, where i teared up also. As a kid, crying comes more natural. I wasn't afraid to cry. As an adult, its different.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jan 2022, 10:36 pm

I couldn't finish the song so I googled to see if that scene had good reviews.

Apparently Anne Hathaway won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role. I didn't realise that.

Then I found this article about what she had to do to produce so much emotion:

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/20 ... gh-jackman


I've seen my beau cry three times now in two years. He's a widower so that's part of it, but he's a lot more emotionally ... flexible (?) than I am. He doesn't turn to stone like I do.

I still think I'm rather defective.



auntblabby
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17 Jan 2022, 10:38 pm

^^^at least you're not a defective toy santa :santa:



theprisoner
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17 Jan 2022, 10:43 pm

Trauma, depending on when and where it hits you, can shut you down emotionally, as well as open you up, emotionally.

Defective? maybe you're just a product of your environment.


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auntblabby
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17 Jan 2022, 10:46 pm

aren't we all?



IsabellaLinton
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17 Jan 2022, 10:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:
aren't we all?


Exactly.