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Shadowcat
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21 Aug 2007, 6:06 pm

Your friend has sex outside of marrriage and You were taught it was wrong so you don't do it.

So explain this: the guy you're dating got frusterated because you're not having sex, so he moves on to Someone else and gets a VD.(veneral disease). This means you just lost your chance to have sex. (with him).

Your friend never has that problem and hasn't gotten a VD which is what is supposed to happen when you are having Premarital Sex.


The question is: If your friend is doing the Wrong Thing, how come she didn't get Punished the way You have for being "Good?"

The same friend told me that your sex organs can dry up if you're not having enough sex. Is that true? 8O



Louise
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21 Aug 2007, 9:01 pm

Shadowcat wrote:
Your friend never has that problem and hasn't gotten a VD which is what is supposed to happen when you are having Premarital Sex.


It's not 'supposed to' happen, it just can happen. If you have sex with a person who has a sexually transmittable disease, there's a chance you'll catch it. Sometimes the chances of catching it can be lessened by using a condom; you should research the different types of sexually transmittable diseases to find out more about that. (As I'm not entirely sure of how many this can be applied to, or how safe it is with different ones, myself.)

Shadowcat wrote:
The same friend told me that your sex organs can dry up if you're not having enough sex. Is that true? 8O


That's not true. If you're a virgin, the first time you have sex you might find they're dry due to nerves (arousal causes natural lubricants to be produced) and it might hurt a bit (artificial lubricant, and a considerate partner who understands about foreplay can apparently help with this), but how long you go without sex for won't affect your sex organs' state of lubrication, which in a healthy woman is at a relatively regular state for most of the time and temporarily increases while she is in a situation in which she is sexually aroused.

Shadowcat wrote:
The question is: If your friend is doing the Wrong Thing, how come she didn't get Punished the way You have for being "Good?"


Whether something is wrong or not is subjective, and in most people it's based on what people around them believe. It can be based on beliefs of friends, family, church, something you've read, or lots of other sources. But ultimately you have to decide for yourself how you're going to look at a given situation.

Personally, I'd see the situation you described as being unfortunate, but not as you being 'punished' by anyone. If anything I'd feel worse for the ex boyfriend than for you, as he now has a disease and you're still disease-free. (And he could face a lot of trouble in finding other people to have sex with in future, if he ever tells them about his disease. If he doesn't and spreads it on as his future sex partners don't know he has it, he'll be causing further unhappiness.)

And it's most likely that your friend just hasn't slept with anyone who had a VD. While some people lie about what they are or aren't carrying, if someone only has sex with people who they would trust to tell them the truth, and use protection, it lessens their chances of catching something. That's probably what your friend did.


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Triangular_Trees
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27 Sep 2007, 6:34 pm

if you believe in god then think of the line, "some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." And that does sound appropriate in this place. After all if this guy will sleep around with you when you are dating, the time in which its most crucial to make a good impression, just think of how he'd be if you were married to him



LadyMacbeth
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27 Sep 2007, 8:18 pm

Triangular_Trees wrote:
if you believe in god then think of the line, "some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." And that does sound appropriate in this place. After all if this guy will sleep around with you when you are dating, the time in which its most crucial to make a good impression, just think of how he'd be if you were married to him


QFT. Get out of there.


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Triangular_Trees
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27 Sep 2007, 8:26 pm

LadyMacbeth wrote:
Triangular_Trees wrote:
if you believe in god then think of the line, "some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." And that does sound appropriate in this place. After all if this guy will sleep around with you when you are dating, the time in which its most crucial to make a good impression, just think of how he'd be if you were married to him


QFT. Get out of there.


just to clarify "QFT" means quote for truth. Had to look that one up - thought you were swearing at me for a moment there :D



LadyMacbeth
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27 Sep 2007, 8:31 pm

< < :nerdy:


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siuan
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27 Sep 2007, 8:53 pm

Shadowcat wrote:
Your friend has sex outside of marrriage and You were taught it was wrong so you don't do it.

So explain this: the guy you're dating got frusterated because you're not having sex, so he moves on to Someone else and gets a VD.(veneral disease). This means you just lost your chance to have sex. (with him).

Your friend never has that problem and hasn't gotten a VD which is what is supposed to happen when you are having Premarital Sex.


The question is: If your friend is doing the Wrong Thing, how come she didn't get Punished the way You have for being "Good?"

The same friend told me that your sex organs can dry up if you're not having enough sex. Is that true? 8O


This sounds like a very Christian viewpoint on sex. VDs happen to people who aren't careful and their poor unsuspecting partners. Cheaters suck, regardless of whether or not the get a sexual disease, and my view has nothing to do with any religion. And sometimes "punishment" doesn't come in a neat little package that is visible to the rest of the world.


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dawndeleon
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01 Oct 2007, 6:56 pm

Its kind of funny that he got a VD, but more fortunate that you didnt get it. funny hmmm, that is. You just have to be honest with the guy outright. If you tell him upfront, and he decides to date you, then he knows the terms.. Look, I went 24 years as a virgin and had sex for the first time on my wedding night. It is not easy, but there are guys that may think enough of you to wait. and wait and wait. I couldnt have handled sex outside of marriage... it was too personal to pursue until then. Its different for everyone.



skahthic
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02 Oct 2007, 12:05 pm

Nothing is supposed to or not supposed to happen--- life is chaotic. Someone may have alot of sex with many people and come out with no diseases ( either by luck or with the aid of sturdy condoms), while another person may be faithful to one person only to find out he/she cheated and then gave the faithful one VD.
There are some things I'd consider "bad", such as cheating on your partner. But most things aren't really bad or good. They are somewhere in between. 2 people loving each other and being together faithfully would be, to me, good. Marriage isn't for everyone, nor is it allowed legally for everyone in this country.



jkrane
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14 Oct 2007, 10:23 pm

Shadowcat wrote:
Your friend has sex outside of marrriage and You were taught it was wrong so you don't do it.

So explain this: the guy you're dating got frusterated because you're not having sex, so he moves on to Someone else and gets a VD.(veneral disease). This means you just lost your chance to have sex. (with him).

Your friend never has that problem and hasn't gotten a VD which is what is supposed to happen when you are having Premarital Sex.


The question is: If your friend is doing the Wrong Thing, how come she didn't get Punished the way You have for being "Good?"

The same friend told me that your sex organs can dry up if you're not having enough sex. Is that true? 8O


How old are you?

Didn't you learn this stuff in school? You don't get VD from having non-marital sex. You get VD from having sex with a guy/girl who has VD...marriage has nothing to do with it.

No one gets "punished" for doing something bad, unless they get screwed over or caught.

You aren't being punished by not being able to have sex with this guy...consider it a blessing you don't have VD...

Maybe you need to some time to mature and learn about the world before you start having sex.



Last edited by jkrane on 15 Oct 2007, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Goche21
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15 Oct 2007, 11:51 am

If he left you because you wouldn't put out, then he wasn't worth your time. Trust me when I say, you're better off without him. If he 'moved on' and got an STD, that's his fault and you're not being punished for it. ((BTW, you don't nessecarily get an STD from prematial sex, but sleeping with more people does increase the odds.)) And you wont 'shrivel up' that's a stupid myth, just like mens 'if you don't use it, you lose it' is.

I think you may be a little young to be thinking about having sex, the truth is you don't understand basic concepts, and need to learn fact from fiction before you consider such an important desision.



jkrane
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15 Oct 2007, 4:46 pm

Goche21 wrote:
I think you may be a little young to be thinking about having sex, the truth is you don't understand basic concepts, and need to learn fact from fiction before you consider such an important desision.


That's very correct!

The original post sounded like it was written by a child. I was being a smart-ass in my previous reply because I thought the post was a joke. I deleted my smart-ass comments, because I can see that the original poster has obviously been terribly sheltered.

The problem with guys, is that they expect women to "put out" in some manner. The guy is thinking..."why waste 50$ on dinner and a movie if the girl isn't gonna pay me back in some way?"

My advice to the OP is to talk to a doctor, school nurse, or counsellor about the risks involved in sex. If people have sex before they are mature enough to understand the consequences, they can get into situations that are hard to handle. Pregnancy, STDs, abuse, etc...