i find this part of the forum offensive...

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i don't "hang out" with these types, but they do seem to be all over the internet, you get a few posts like that everywhere, you can't escape it.

oh ok, so have to suffer for the mistakes of everyone else who was ever born with a Y chromosome...thank you. im pretty sure that if there was something like a specific "black forum" on this site people would get offended......i guess it just turns out my particular problem with society (this whole bigender approach) is shared by noone, and unless i get a load of people behind me, im going to get rather unfriendly posts like the one you've given me...thank you for putting me into a box and cremating my remains so quickly...xanny <3 x

Is there a reason you are bending over backwards to find things to be offended by?

I didn't put you in a box, other than the one of someone who hadn't investigated this situation - which your own posts show have to be the case.

No one ever said there was anything about any forum that wasn't offensive either. But its a fact that the men's forum was full of nothing more than perverse posts, and thats why it was deleted. The forum wasn't deleted because it was for men - it was deleted because no one was using it for anything resembling mature conversation. And when those perverse posters tried to do the same things here, and categorize women as male haters because they did things like want their own forum and not want to be bashed for talking about life experiences, than yes it became necessary to limit male involvement

When you are calm, return are re-read your posts here. They are offensive to woman and one of the reasons why the woman want male posts restricted in this area. You criticise woman for putting you into box. What do you think you are doing when claiming woman hate all males because they post that its horrible they were groped by several strangers in different places or because they say they want to talk about the unusual smell of their menstrual blood without men commenting?

YES.

Look, women need a space where we can be comfortable to talk about women's issues that most men either don't want to or simply can't deal with. That means somewhere we can be open about things like our vaginas, periods, pregnancy, birth, socialising, sex, love-lifes (gay or straight or anything in between), boobs, hormones, and all the things that make our lives generally pretty difficult at times that men won't ever - through no fault of their own - understand. It needs to be somewhere safe for us to open up and have these often very important discussions without fear of retribution, mocking, or general immature annoyances.

Can you imagine how a discussion on what products you prefer to use when you're on would go down in General Discussion, or anywhere else? How about questions about losing your virginity? Or rape, abortion, bra sizes, period cramps, labour...?

There are so few aspie women out there, and we are different in how it manifests than our male counterparts on the spectrum. We need this space for comeraderie and support if nothing else. Because there are times when nobody is going to have a clue what it's like being an aspie woman except another aspie woman. Simple as that.

yeah, i assumed the "adult" forum would have been perfectly fine for that...im sorry, i don't understand, i'll never understand. i'll just have to get used to this bigendered world.x

Have you had a look around the adult forum lately? All it seems to be is porn, tits, p****, ass, and other stuff. Which is all well and good, but it's not anywhere where a woman could go and safely say or ask the things she wants to.

Men are welcome in here, of course, and I know I for one welcome them. The more understanding of the opposite sex there is the better in my opinion!! But we need this place to be ourselves without fear of the generally pretty silly discussion going on in there. Adult Discussion is pretty light-hearted; this is generally more serious. Also, there are going to be much younger women and girls posting in here - first periods, virginity, pimples, etc etc wanting to talk to older aspie women - who wouldn't be allowed into the adult forum for obvious reasons.

that's cool, so why couldn't have someone talked this way to me earlier rather than trees passively aggressively abusing me for the last hour? the way something is said is far more important to me than the what you actually say.x

Abuse begets abuse. Look at how you introduced yourself to trees. openly and blatantly mocking her because she had previously expressed the fact that she was upset about having to hide her breasts every time she went out in public. Sorry but I think even an aspie should be able to recognize that treating someone that way will not result in kindness being returned to them

It also appears you were accusing her of putting forth alot of bigotry toward you for no other fact than you were male. - just read over the second page of this thread

WHAT? WHEN? i had never talked to trees before now...i would NEVER take the mick out of someone for hiding their breasts, because i cross the gender boundaries myself....what the hell is going on?

What dasha said. You insulted not only me, but every woman here, from your first post, and then continued doing so repeatedly.

And there is nothing that you weren't just told by Lew that I hadn't told you previously about why men's posts need to be restricted here. Though for some weird reason you kept interpreting that as meaning I hated you for being male instead of having anything to do with the reasons why women need a womens forum

um... you seem to think you are saying something different from what we all are hearing. your interpretation of both what you say and what others say seems way off, and more than a little illogical/crazy. if you are feeling kind of paranoid and out of it right now, i think you should reread your posts calmly at a later time.

EDIT: i also mean the posts in the other thread you have been going back and forth with trees in, not just this one.

Last edited by i_Am_andaJoy on 18 Aug 2008, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not sure there was much malice meant in what anyone's been saying, and I'm sure if it came across that way then it wasn't intentional. Such is the joy of communicating in black-and-white ariel.

Either way, you're definitely welcome in here, as are men in general. But for the sheer reason we women have so much extra crap to put up with in life (again, purely by being born female, it's no fault of the men!) and there is no other safe platform for us to speak to each other about it and share our experiences and provide that mutual support and understanding that we need, there is a need for this forum. I think I explained the reasons why it couldn't go in adult discussion or general or anything pretty clearly, and going by your response you seem to have understood, so I won't elaborate further. Also, it's 'women's discussion', not 'women only' - I think, as Alex or someone else pointed out, the title serves more as a warning that anyone who enters here may encounter periods and vaginas, which unfortunately is something not everyone is comfortable with.

Anyway, welcome - I wish everyone was as open-minded towards the sexes as you are!! Just please don't read into the existence of this board as being sexist, because it certainly isn't in intent or in the way it's used. It's merely a much-needed platform for some kinship amongst us rare lady aspies. It gets a bit lonely out there you see!

as i said, it's not what you said, it's the way you said it (or typed in this case) and yes, it implied you hated me for being male. but yeah, im an incredibly paranoid individual, which explains my first statement........your harsh tone explains the rest of this thread...was i being offensive to women "on purpose"? no i wasn't...and in my book "on purpose" is the only thing i can truly believe in....i am however sorry that my genetic brain makeup and the 100s of people that have f***ed me up over my life lead me to that statement.x

you feel there was some implication of hate-- again, i did not see that, i'd say all the frustration with you was because you were saying things about women that were offensive. and i can believe that you did not mean them with deliberate malice, that your insults were a sort of ignorance, not made "on purpose" as you have said. i just don't agree that that makes it better.

here's the thing-- do you feel your life sucks more than anyone else here?

maybe i am wrong, but i think your answer would be yes. it seems like you feel because your pain and isolation have been so great, so far beyond what anyone else could possibly have suffered, that this excuses you in some way. i am not just having a go at you, ok? i think a LOT of people refuse to believe that anyone's pain can come close to their own.

so i am just asking you to think about that, think about the people in your life that have made stupid, thoughtless comments to YOU, and how much it hurt and how insulting it was that they didn't even REALIZE it might be something that might hurt.

you are not as isolated as you think. if you don't want to be that is.

If you have a problem with this part of the forum don't post in it. Plain and simple. It's not discriminatory at all. I'm getting a little annoyed with men complaining about it.