Tell co-workers?

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Hi, I am newly diagnosed and have only told my immediate family so far.
I'm not sure if telling people at work is wise. Will people start paying attention to every decision I make and seeing if it seems autistic. If they don't agree with me will they assume my viewpoint is less valid due to being on the spectrum?
Does anyone deal with these issues at work in a way that has been really positive?
Should I tell people or just let them continue to think I'm odd without any explaination.

It's highly plausible that people will discount your opinions that they don't agree with, either on the grounds that they think they know more about you than you do or, due to ignorance or fear. For those reasons, I'm in the habit of not telling anyone who hasn't studied it on an acedemic level.

Just let them continue thinking what they will without explaining anything to them.

I think aspies have been affected negatively enough in their pre-adult years that they think no one will want them as a friend. If you can try to be friendly to people, they're more than likely to overlook your quirks.

I never told anyone at my job. I just let my office clerk kept thinking I lacked common sense and I was stupid. I had a feeling he think I was because that's how I felt about myself and my working memory was bad. It might have been the eating disorder. I know how lack of food effects your memory.

The boss assistant of housekeeping thought I was black and white.

First of all, be aware that telling your colleagues is telling Management. Do you have a thorough knowledge of the relevant laws in your country, are you totally sure that you have fully effective and enforceable protection against prejudiced firings? It can vary very much. In the UK, it's to your advantage to tell everyone as soon as possible. Where I am, it's occupational suicide. Then, if you work in a small, non-enlightened field, word can spread and you can find it even harder than usual to find a new job.

Regarding colleagues, what matters is whether they like you or not. In the long run, they won't connect with you more just because there's a name to your ""weirdness""."

Age is also a factor, as is the nature of your job. If you're in your twenties and your job is not a career, you can make a mistake and laugh about it years later. If you're in your thirties / forties, you must weigh very carefully whether it's in your best interest to put out there that you have a neurological condition that limits you regarding work politics and """normal""" socializing. Moreover, depending on which country you live in and how much your references have to tell a prospective employer, the people you choose as your references when looking for a new job will feel they have a moral obligation to tell your potential employer that you have a neurological condition. So unless your occupation is one where people will need zero contact with you, you may end up with a stigma that precedes you wherever you go, to places where they haven't had a chance to get to know you yet.

So be careful and check things thoroughly before you take any irreversible action. There's little to gain and a lot at stake, especially in this economy.

Bottom line, be aware that as soon as you tell one person outside your family, you're telling many people that you won't even know if they know or not. You lose control of the information. If you're OK with it, then go ahead. Ultimately, nobody here can answer your question with any degree of responsibility - for all we know, you could be a 15 year old market vendor in a Borneo island or a 54 year old NASA Engineer in California.

If in doubt keep your mouth shut at work is my advice, I might one day out myself but maybe I might never.

I guess it could depend on whether or not your employer is going to expect you to perform "Aspie-unfriendly" tasks. The fact that you're not sure whether to reveal your diagnosis or not suggests that your employer isn't pushing you into an impossible corner in that respect, so you might be wise to hold back and not tell them.

I'm likely to go for the DX soon, and if it turns out positive, I don't know what I'll do about it. My job is largely "Aspie-friendly," i.e. I can usually do the things I'm expected to do without much bother, and my usual boss is a very kind man who's unlikely to make any trouble for me even if I were to make quite a lot of mistakes. He seems to appreciate my powers of focus and dedication But it's conceivable that he could inadvertantly make my life stressful simply because he didn't know my weaknesses, and there is another part of my job where I'm working with and for other people who have some history of bullying, insensitivity, and "blame culture." I hate that part of the job, so I intend to reveal my DX if they start to attack me in the future...they've already put me through a lot of stress, but the situation waxes and wanes - it's hard to know how much of the anxiety is in my head and how much is just them being bastards.

I'm hoping to rely on my own mettle initially, and just tell them straight, as and when I need to, that I'm not the kind of person that can fulfill some of their more absurd expectations....I presume that'll be somewhat easier if I have a DX to throw at them as a doomsday option, and I'd feel better for knowing I've beaten them back without having to resort to that. Really it's up to them - if they're prepared to play nicely then there's no reason why I should ever reveal the disability.

Essentially I feel that all workers are morally entitled to be accepted for what they are, warts and all, so it'd be interesting and appropriate for me to start pushing for that in my own case, instead of just trying to take everything in my stride when they're trying to see me as just another prole to be hammered into their preferred mould. I don't feel particularly dependent on my job as a source of reassurance of my worth as a person, and would be quite happy to leave if they want to cut me a good severance deal. The prospect of unemployment doesn't scare me as long as I'm going to be financially secure - in fact even on a good day, the job feels a little like a prison sentence, and the thought of getting the freedom to do the things I want to do is quite appealing to me.

On the other hand, if I don't tell them of my disability, it's hardly reasonable to blame them, morally or legally, if they misunderstand and ignore my problems. I'm not sure but I think they'd be obliged to deal with my DX in confidence, so informing the personnel department (or some other suitable bigwig) wouldn't necessarily mean that the world and his wife would be told.

I've heard of a recent case in this city in which an employer was treating a worker like dirt until he got his DX and told them, and apparently doing that has transformed his job from a nightmare into something quite reasonable. I guess employers are quite scared of being taken to court for discriminating against the disabled - our rights are getting stronger all the time. In my case, my employer is also obsessed with appearing to be politically correct for publicity reasons. People who live in glass houses don't throw stones.

I probably sound quite smug about all these possibilities, but I'm not. I don't relish the thought of going through any conflict at all with them - I hate fights unless I get really angry - but the thing that scares me the most is getting a negative DX when I'm pretty well convinced that I have AS, and being expected to work as if I have no impairments.

Yes, that's a guess, and quite a wild one. You haven't the faintest idea which kind of country or community the person you're advising is writing from. In some countries, girls are still being mutilated by law, and in many more countries a weird neurological condition called Asperger's is enough good cause for the law / the judge to side with the employer in terminating your job.

Awfully sorry, I meant "I guess UK employers are quite scared...."
No need to jump down my throat though. If you look at the context, it's pretty obvious I was talking locally about my own case when I wrote that particular paragraph.
sue88, what country are you living in? I'm in the UK. I hope I haven't put you at risk of getting your hands chopped off.

No, I wouldn't tell anyone outside the immediate family.

Though I think my co-workers already know something is different with me, since they know my son has autism and they're already used to my odd habits. I'm not going to blame everything on autism. They ask why I don't take customer calls, I say I communicate better in emails than I do on the phone. I have always been open with what my limitations are, I just never blamed them on autism.

The UK is the one country that has very extraordinary laws regarding protection of employment. Pity the Brits don't know how lucky they are and have lost touch with the reality in the rest of the world. Many states in the USA (and most countries around the globe) have the "at will" kind of contract where your boss can fire you without giving any reason or just for not liking your skin color, certainly for finding out you have a neurological difference / limitation. People should be more careful when giving advice.

It's a question that bothers me too. Must I tell something to my co-workers or not? I know that I have Asperger's since a year and I never told them. Now, I think that they wouldn't believe it. I'm well adapted in my work place. They know and see that I don't like the social events, that I don't like to go grab a beer after work and that I have non-social weekends. But they respect me in that way, probably also because I am quite intelligent, they come to me to ask their questions about accountancy and I always help them, they see that I work hard and try to do my best. For them, it seems like I have no real problems at work, also because I can fake "normal" behaviour. But there are difficulties at work, but I hide them and I am really exhausted when I get home. But I am quite reluctant to tell them. I don't want to awake sleeping dogs.

I think that you must judge each situation individually. Do you have problems at your work caused by Asperger's and that could be solved by telling your diagnosis? Do others have problems because of your AS? Are your co-workers honest and kind people or will they take advantage of you? Are there concrete points that you would like to see different when you told your co-workers that you have AS? And so on... I find it difficult to give advice, but I think that telling your co-workers is something you can do when you are really feeling safe at your work place. Otherwise, I wouldn't.

Here's what I do: I let some people know that I smile when I'm nervous -- because it's possible for me to smile in even the worst situations. Luckily it makes me perfect for the job, because it's a smiley job, but that's all I felt like I should tell my coworkers. For the rest of my quirks (e.g., clumsiness), their term is "silly."

A girl from my job (the friendliest woman I've ever met) has explained to me several of her quirks -- and now I know they're just part of who she is. For example, staring (and I need to literally shake her out of it), and she has OCD (like many of my coworkers) and tidies up and "fixes" the unbroken, and a few more that I forget. I don't question her actions because I know reasons for them.

I think if you know the reasons you act the way you do (besides "I have autism") it would help tremendously so you can explain one or two things just so they won't think much of it. All you would give is a quick explanation. Or just list off a few habits or oddities that you're aware of, without reasons.

Of course, it's still OK if you go about your job without telling them any reasons for your quirks. I guess it depends on the type of job and how close you are with your coworkers.

Edit: Filip's advice sounds extremely helpful. Great questions to think about!

At my job I sort of had to tell. I had a huge meltdown at work, and it was brought to the attention of human resources. I had a rather embarrassing meeting (where I thought for sure I was getting fired) with the VP of R&D and a sort of big wig from HR, about my "mental instability." They recommended that I see a therapist and a psychiatrist....I didn't want to be stigmatized as "mentally ill" even though I am (not by being autistic, but because I also have a mood disorder).

I just sort of told them that I had severe learning disabilities as a child and some of the carried over into adulthood. They asked me what they were, and I just said "autism."

It was never brought up again. I know my coworkers know I'm different, I won't tell them. Upper management and HR do know. I'm sure my boss knows because they told her, but she doesn't talk about it.

Actually today I made an observation that sort of saved the day (well didn't waste a 150 kg batch of makeup), and one of the engineers joked that I had the perception of an autistic kid...I just kept my mouth shut and sort of took it as a complement.

I think if it will interfere with your job just bring up the issues that bother you or them...like "I'm not good at understanding verbal instructions" or "I don't easily understand sarcasm" or "Loud noises make me act like a total freak" without mentioning you have AS. I think my coworkers just think I have a lot of weird personality quirks.

I very much doubt that the thread's author would be silly enough to put her job at risk by blindly following anything that's been said here - note that the only actual advice I gave was "you might be wise to hold back and not tell them." And, I repeat, I was talking locally about my own case for the rest of my post. Anyway, let's leave it to Sue88 to make her own judgements on these matters, shall we? You're right to point out that locality makes a big difference to the best way to proceed, but we'd best not spoil her thread by arguing the toss all over the place, that would be rude IMHO.

Pointing out fallacies is not arguing.

Yes that's often the best way to deal with it......an Aspie giving an impromptu lecture on the Triad of Impairments is likely to confuse everybody, but individual traits can usually be explained clearly in a flash.