The site "The Neurotypical". What do you think?

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auntblabby
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16 Oct 2020, 10:15 pm

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
he may be the biggest reason the show has lasted longer than many people have lived.


I think deep down he is relatable...although we might not want to admit it.

i see bits of meself in him, the limited frustration tolerance foremost.


Agreed, although Homer gets to live more than most of us :wink:

that is because he is a star, the popularity wouldn't be there if his life was humdrum like our lives.



Double Retired
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17 Oct 2020, 8:46 am

auntblabby wrote:
lucky you :wtg: :heart:

A lot of emphasis on LUCK. There were many, many very unlikely things that combined to get us together. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction in this case, presented as fiction it would seem too contrived.


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Clueless2017
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17 Oct 2020, 9:29 am

Sorry i am off-topic...This is in response to one of the comments above...I have yet to learn to tag someone specifically...I AM TRULY SORRY THAT YOU WERE LOST IN A COMPLEX OF HOSPITAL BUILDINGS...And i am especially sorry to learn that your boyfriend was not very supporting...For some people is difficult to show EMPATHY...EMPATHY is generally described as the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes...I much prefer the definition: FEELING SOMEONE ELSE's PAIN IN YOUR HEART...This 'tool', ability, or capacity, comes very handy in our relationships with our loved ones...What you are describing above, about your boyfriend seemingly unable to understand that what may be easy for him may be difficult for you is an apparent LACK OF EMPATHY from his behalf...I say apparent, because i do not know him...Your experience reminded me of an incident in recent times when i had symptoms of a heart attack...I called on my beloved (Aspie) husband for help who was sitting in our bedroom...But he 'frozed', practically paralyzed...I mean he remained still, apparently unable to help me in my emergency...He must have been scared (though he would never acknowledge this)...I walked outside, slightly bent over, with my hand on my chest, desperately looking for help...Shortly after, my beloved (Aspie) husband met me outside, lifted me off the ground, and carried me to our vehicle to head to hospital...His slow reaction to my emergency situation may appear to outsiders as a lack of empathy from his behalf...The truth of the matter is that most of us, NTs and those on the spectrum, alike, are NOT prepared when emergencies strike...I remember how lost i felt once in a huge airport in Houston, Texas...I remember the anxiety of not knowing if i would make it on time for my flight...Remembering said experience, i became extremely anxious about my beloved (Aspie) husband when he had to travel thousands of miles, from the West coast to the East coast, in recent times...He does not speaks English...How was he to communicate with others if he needed help???...How would he ask for directions to find the right terminal???...I told him, "AMOR (Love in Spanish) been in an airport can be very confusing to me, and i am fluent in English, how much more confusing could it be for you...You must call me when you are there and stay connected with me throughout this experience"...Sure enough, he did exactly that...When he would see an airport employee, he would hand his phone to them, so that i could speak to them and ask for directions...I then would relate to him what they would say to me...This way he reached his terminal with sufficient time in advance for his flight and avoided getting lost...I was glad to be of help...But most importantly, i was relieved that he didn't get lost...Had he gotten lost in the airport, he would have lost his connecting flight to his destination...What we all need to acknowledge is that God did not create us all to react in the same way to the same or similar situation...What may be easy for me may be difficult for someone else and vise versa...What may prove to be a trial for me, may be a breeze for someone else...Let me give an example...I sincerely do NOT care about the opinion others' may have about me...I was born this way...I was also born with a strong spiritual inclination...Since childhood, i do everything to please God--not to please human beings...In reality, though i care very much about the wellbeing of many people, I only care about the opinion of three people in my life, my parents and my husband...Well, maybe my sister's...Definitely, not my brother's...Yet, i have read about people who have committed suicide because of what others thought about them...! !!...Again, GOD DID NOT CREATE US ALL TO REACT IN THE SAME MANNER TO THE SAME SITUATION...If we accept this fact, we will be more accepting of others' limitations (NT's and Aspies, alike)...And last, i believe EMPATHY can be learned despite our many limitations, NTs and Aspies alike...But that's another topic...Wishing you all a stress-less weekend... :heart: :heart: :heart:



Joe90
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17 Oct 2020, 10:22 am

You are not off-topic, you have steered the thread back ON topic, so I thank you for that. :)

I read your post, although I can't think of what to reply but I still understand.

The way I see it, empathy is not black and white. Not everyone can understand everything about another person, even if they are generally empathetic people. So a person, whether Aspie or allistic, can have an emotional understanding of one thing but seem unable to understand emotionally about another thing.


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LisaM1031
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17 Oct 2020, 2:18 pm

I just gave it a brief read. It seems like a lot of these “victim” spouses are confused about what ASD actually is/isn’t. In a lot of cases the behavior they’re describing actually sounds like a cluster B personality disorder, like Narcissism or Borderline personality disorder.



auntblabby
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18 Oct 2020, 2:24 am

Double Retired wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
lucky you :wtg: :heart:

A lot of emphasis on LUCK. There were many, many very unlikely things that combined to get us together. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction in this case, presented as fiction it would seem too contrived.

i am thankful to you that you with humility make this admission. :heart:



cyberdad
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18 Oct 2020, 2:39 am

JP210168 wrote:
If you don't like something you see on the net, there's always the option of simply ignoring it.


Umm as far as going off topic I think the consensus was reached a long time ago (see above)



JP210168
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18 Oct 2020, 6:08 am

Yeah, I should have read the thread beforehand, but I'm active on another forum where this same topic came up. More of a reflex response and I didn't mean to come off as unsympathetic, but my opinion on it is set in stone at this point. It's not just this site either, there are more I can think of but I'd rather not share.

The garbage some of these people come up with and the way they try to justify them used to make my stomach churn, and I found it difficult not to ignore at one point as well, but I've simply stopped visiting them now.



cyberdad
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19 Oct 2020, 2:30 am

Yeah Grammar geek got a "dear john" response from the domain so that web page is here to stay.

I think we should try again and force them to put some type of warning on their page about the content being not suitable for all users.



League_Girl
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19 Oct 2020, 3:01 am

Joe90 wrote:
Are there only biased sites against autistics, or does every neurological minority group have to put up with this? It might make me feel a little less angry if I knew that it's not just autism that is so worryingly misunderstood.



I also see hate against those with NPD and BPD in blogs and other websites by those who have been hurt by them.


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AnalogGirl
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19 Oct 2020, 7:44 am

https://theneurotypical.com/effects-on- ... evels.html

Basically everything on this page that describes Aspbergers, literally describes most of the NT’s on the planet????



AnalogGirl
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19 Oct 2020, 7:52 am

Clueless2017 wrote:
I am relatively new in this forum...It was recommended as a place where i may find support...Seeking a little understanding, in case i may needed it...Though to be frank, what i really seek is not to be understood but to better understand my beloved husband...Who i am certain is an undiagnosed Aspie...After reading this thread about other sites where Aspies are 'demonized' (for lack of a better word)...I confess that during my courtship of 1 year and 8 months to my now husband, I mistakenly suspected that he was a narcissist...I even bought me a book on the topic!...Sadly, sometimes my Aspies' behavior made him appear like a narcissist...Overtime, i realized it was all a gross misunderstanding from my behalf...And i was just plain ignorant--and still am--about the way in which my husband's brain is wired...Suffice to say, i am forever grateful to God that i never felt compelled to join any of those sites where hatred is spread...And more grateful that i was directed here...I am certain that if those people in those sites had more knowledge and education on the topic of autism, they would think differently and would be here instead...God bless you all!! !...I do like you...So much so, i married one of you... :heart: :heart: :heart:


I have read similar, where Aspbergers is similar to Narcissism, but the huge difference is intent! Most people with Aspbergers are not intentionally malicious, just perceived that way. I’m sure there are a few exceptions, but people on the spectrum are not waking up and making diabolical plans for others, in fact we are really so in our own worlds we don’t notice others goings ons, or are utterly confused by others goings ons, and would not be able to craft such schemes effectively. If you notice by these boards, you’ll see we are always confused/bewildered by people’s reactions to us.



Clueless2017
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19 Oct 2020, 10:16 am

AnalogGirl wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
I am relatively new in this forum...It was recommended as a place where i may find support...Seeking a little understanding, in case i may needed it...Though to be frank, what i really seek is not to be understood but to better understand my beloved husband...Who i am certain is an undiagnosed Aspie...After reading this thread about other sites where Aspies are 'demonized' (for lack of a better word)...I confess that during my courtship of 1 year and 8 months to my now husband, I mistakenly suspected that he was a narcissist...I even bought me a book on the topic!...Sadly, sometimes my Aspies' behavior made him appear like a narcissist...Overtime, i realized it was all a gross misunderstanding from my behalf...And i was just plain ignorant--and still am--about the way in which my husband's brain is wired...Suffice to say, i am forever grateful to God that i never felt compelled to join any of those sites where hatred is spread...And more grateful that i was directed here...I am certain that if those people in those sites had more knowledge and education on the topic of autism, they would think differently and would be here instead...God bless you all!! !...I do like you...So much so, i married one of you... :heart: :heart: :heart:


I have read similar, where Aspbergers is similar to Narcissism, but the huge difference is intent! Most people with Aspbergers are not intentionally malicious, just perceived that way. I’m sure there are a few exceptions, but people on the spectrum are not waking up and making diabolical plans for others, in fact we are really so in our own worlds we don’t notice others goings ons, or are utterly confused by others goings ons, and would not be able to craft such schemes effectively. If you notice by these boards, you’ll see we are always confused/bewildered by people’s reactions to us.

... ... ...
What i will explain here may help you better understand why i suspected my fiancé (now husband) was a narcissist...During our courtship, we did not live in the same place...I would see him once a week for a small 'window' of two hours due to extraordinary circumstances...This extended for one year and eight months, minus three months when i broke off the engagement...At one point in time, he was surrounded by some very negative influences...And his poor behaviour left a lot to be desired...Malicious intent, or not, he hurt me gravely emotionally...But all that is now in our past...I don't want to remember any that...Suffice to say, he has made the changes necessary, and i have forgiven him... We are both still healing...In conclusion, from an outsiders' standpoint, NT or Aspie, my fiancé was acting like a narcissist...What i learned from this experience is that God not only sees our sinful acts but also the circumstances leading up to our poor behavior...And so, God forgives us and motivates us to make the changes needed...To date, i try to be patient with my beloved (Aspie) husband, as God has been with me...Now, we are both at peace with each other and with God...Thank you so-o-o much for taking the time to respond... :heart: :heart: :heart: Your clarification proves what i had already learned from this experience...That Aspies are NOT narcissists!! !...



Joe90
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19 Oct 2020, 10:43 am

AnalogGirl wrote:
https://theneurotypical.com/effects-on-differing-nd-levels.html

Basically everything on this page that describes Aspbergers, literally describes most of the NT’s on the planet????


A lot of these are how many autistics have been treated by many NTs, such as bullying, manipulation, misunderstanding*, ridicule, harassment, etc.

*Not wanting to understand the autistic individual.


But am I going to create a biased site against NTs, stating that all NTs are bullies? No. Why? Because I know that not all NTs are bullies.


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Joe90
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19 Oct 2020, 11:04 am

Funnily enough my ASD doesn't actually affect my relationship. I don't think ASD affects me in the relationship area. The reason why I fail to make friends with NT females my age is because no matter how friendly I am they seem to sense something odd and back away. But my boyfriend doesn't seem to think I'm odd. He says I'm unique but he also says I am normal.

I have ADHD as well.


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Clueless2017
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19 Oct 2020, 12:21 pm

Joe90 wrote:
AnalogGirl wrote:
https://theneurotypical.com/effects-on-differing-nd-levels.html

Basically everything on this page that describes Aspbergers, literally describes most of the NT’s on the planet????


A lot of these are how many autistics have been treated by many NTs, such as bullying, manipulation, misunderstanding*, ridicule, harassment, etc.

*Not wanting to understand the autistic individual.


But am I going to create a biased site against NTs, stating that all NTs are bullies? No. Why? Because I know that not all NTs are bullies.


... ... ...
I REFUSE TO CHECK OUT THAT SITE!! !...Not even out of curiosity (And I am NT)...Anything that is not ENCOURAGING and UPLIFTING, we should NOT consider...! !!...We have enough struggles...NTs and Aspies, alike...Best wishes to you ALL for a stress-less week :heart: :heart: :heart: