Is anyone here not narcissistic at all?

Page 1 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 12:40 am

By that I mean you don't care what opinion others have about you. You can't be offended, because you don't care. Compliments are meaningless, because again, you don't care.

Curious what will be the results. I have a working theory that humans are inherently narcissistic, but happy to find someone to disprove it :3



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,645

30 Jul 2021, 1:56 am

I don't think concept of narcissism applies here. Humans are social creatures and to meet the level you're describing they would fall more under sociopathic. There's a large gulf in wanting to be held in good regard by others vs needing admiration about being superior.



StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 2:28 am

That's the problem with labels, they tend to be vague. I thought about calling it sociopathy too, but that label seems to be used for people who are reckless and antisocial. While this is more like being asocial? But asocial isn't popular label, so I assumed nobody would know what I'm talking about...

Quote:
There's a large gulf in wanting to be held in good regard by others vs needing admiration about being superior.

I have hard time noticing that gulf. Both types demand compliments (narcissistic supply), or else they get butthurt?



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,645

30 Jul 2021, 2:41 am

Narcissism stems from a feeling of superiority. They want to be seen as the ultimate and treated as such.

That's different than people wanting to feel valued or just liked for themselves.



StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 2:58 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Narcissism stems from a feeling of superiority.

Isn't it still characteristic of every human ever? For example, I like pigs, because unlike humans, pigs can be nice and cute. But if I told random human that I value them almost as much as a pig, they would get instantly butthurt. Why? My guess is because feeling of superiority. Is this correct?



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,645

30 Jul 2021, 3:08 am

Not the same, because you're assuming that other people hold pigs in the same regard and hold values similar to your own.



StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 3:20 am

I actually assumed complete opposite. And this is exactly my point, humans feel superior towards basically everything, including most other humans. Isn't it superiority you've mentioned before, and therefore, narcissism?



Something Profound
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 23 Apr 2021
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: New Mexico

30 Jul 2021, 3:27 am

StrayCat81 wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Narcissism stems from a feeling of superiority.

Isn't it still characteristic of every human ever? For example, I like pigs, because unlike humans, pigs can be nice and cute. But if I told random human that I value them almost as much as a pig, they would get instantly butthurt. Why? My guess is because feeling of superiority. Is this correct?


Narcissism is a specific diagnosis that has certain criteria that need to be validated. It is very much not at all similar to what you're describing. You are describing a subjective evaluation based on your own values, and how other humans consider those based on their own subjectivity.

This is normal. Whether they get offended or not is not really relevant, because it falls within a standard expectation of how humans react in a social circumstance. We are social creatures, hence we have such expectations that fall within the norms.

A Narcissist falls OUTSIDE of the norm.

A more typical response from a Narcissist would not to be "butthurt" about your comment. Instead, they would agree with you that humans aren't as good as pigs, and oh by the way they have the most bestest cutest pig ever, would you like to see it, it is their favorite pig and they want you to be impressed with it.

...and they could be lying through their teeth. And they will use that leverage of your interest in THEM to find ways to make you like them more...until eventually you can ONLY focus on them, even above your personal like of pigs. That is their goal.

And if you do not play by those rules...they don't care about you or your pigs. But if they think they can get more attention by getting other people t hate you for liking pigs, they will do so 2 seconds after they told you they love pigs.

THAT is why Narcissism is not a term that applies here. Narcissists behave in ways that are decidedly not NT, and in a way that can be very dangerous. They are not sociopaths, but they can sometimes seem like it.



StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 3:45 am

I think you are describing Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is supposed to happen if someone is narcissistic way above the norm.

Anyway, what better label I should use here?



naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 26,932
Location: temperate zone

30 Jul 2021, 4:21 am

A certain amount of "self love" is vital to survival. But like everything else in life it can be taken to pathological extremes.


Its the pathological extreme that is named after the character Narcissus in Greek mythology, and is given that diagnostic label.

Thats it. End of discussion.



FleaOfTheChill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 307
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,039
Location: Everywhere

30 Jul 2021, 5:30 am

StrayCat81 wrote:
By that I mean you don't care what opinion others have about you. You can't be offended, because you don't care. Compliments are meaningless, because again, you don't care.


To address that ^

I can be offended (it takes a lot. I'm not easily offended), but I don't know that I've ever been offended by what someone thinks about me. I'm not much effected by praise or criticism. I might take the words into consideration if it's relevant to something, like a task I'm trying to accomplish, but beyond that, eh, I'm not concerned. But when it comes to insults, I don't care. If someone compliments me, it rolls off the same as insults.

I don't know if it's 'not narcissistic' of me though. I actually think it's kind of selfish. I don't care what others think of me because they aren't me. They don't have to wake up in my skin everyday and live my life, I do, so they are irrelevant to me. When dealing with others it all comes down to how I view myself and them, not how they view me. It's been problematic with me in my interactions with others.

It is fair to note, I was speaking about people who aren't my family. I do care what my kids think to a point. If I was, for example, doing something that embarrassed them in public, I would try to do something about that. I would care what they think...up to a certain point. It wouldn't offend me though. They have every right to feel how they feel and to speak their minds about it so long as they do so with decency and respect.



ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,579
Location: New Jersey, USA

30 Jul 2021, 5:33 am

I don't react to compliments or deliberate put-downs emotionally. I'm open to constructive criticism. I'm wary of folks that are hinting that they might escalate things: either with violence, malicious falsehood rumors/slander, or micromanaging.

I'd love to live by the adage of "Don't worry what others think about you, do your own thing." But seeing as others may have the physical or social power to destroy me out of nowhere, I must remain vigilant. Not all NTs are evil, but the ones that are can be flat-out viscous.

Stay safe. Be aware of those around you.

...yes, normies can be viscous.



StrayCat81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 173
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

30 Jul 2021, 5:56 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
When dealing with others it all comes down to how I view myself and them, not how they view me. It's been problematic with me in my interactions with others.

Very true, it does complicate things. With issues like that, how did you end up being super social, with kids and all?

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
I'd love to live by the adage of "Don't worry what others think about you, do your own thing." But seeing as others may have the physical or social power to destroy me out of nowhere, I must remain vigilant.

Yes, exactly. This is actually why it took me long time to realize how weird I am. I thought everyone pretends to care in order to not get in trouble. But apparently normal humans actually have intrinsic need to be admired and seen as 'good', whatever that means...

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Stay safe. Be aware of those around you.

Ran away from them, being completely alone is great, sweet freedom... :3



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,815
Location: South-East England

30 Jul 2021, 8:15 am

Quote:
By that I mean you don't care what opinion others have about you. You can't be offended, because you don't care. Compliments are meaningless, because again, you don't care.


That's not what narcissism means.
Everyone on the planet has some of these traits but it doesn't mean they're narcissists. To be a narcissist you need most (or all) of these traits:-

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Exaggerate achievements and talents

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

Take advantage of others to get what they want

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office


_________________
Female
Aged 31
On antidepressants
Have ASD, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,212
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

30 Jul 2021, 8:27 am

It's called the Ego -- not narcissism.

Narcissism is a personality disorder, not a fundamental (yet a very noisy) part of the human experience and psyche.


Egos comes with all sizes, shapes, colors or even other characteristic like 'flexibility', 'strength' or 'durability'.

An egotistical person has a bigger and stronger ego, but not necessarily fragile.

Narcissists on average has bigger sizes, yet also generally will always have a fragile ego.



So... To sum up --
All humans have egos.
But not all those who have an ego are narcissists.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 50,703
Location: Stendec

30 Jul 2021, 8:29 am

StrayCat81 wrote:
That's the problem with labels, they tend to be vague. [...]
Only to those people who want them vague to bolster their points-of-view.  Here is the proper definition:

Narcissistic personality disorder -- one of several types of personality disorders -- is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.  But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy (psychotherapy).


Source:
 This Mayo Clinic Article 


_________________
 Link to Official List of Trump's Atrocities 

45OFFICE = TRE45ON
Lock Him Up!