Emailed a doctor about getting assessed for ADHD...

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Joe90
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13 Sep 2021, 5:38 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Joe, I thought you got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago :?


No I wasn't officially diagnosed, just self-diagnosed.
This is the exact reason I want to get an official diagnosis of ADHD, to avoid conversations like this.



I swore you got tested for it and saying the good news was you scored high on ADHD and the bad news was you scored low on AS so that meant the diagnoses was correct. I assumed you were getting tested for it and did the assessment.


No, you must be thinking of another member, as I would never correlate scoring low on AS as bad news! :lol:

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What kind of anti depressants are you on?

Sertraline.

I was hyper as a child though, like more hyper than the average child. My brother wasn't hyper at all, and neither were my parents, so it wasn't the environment influencing my hyperactive behaviour, it was just me. I am still hyperactive now; both internal and openly.


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renaeden
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16 Sep 2021, 2:13 am

Yeah, the "H" for me is inside my head, I'm hyper in my thoughts.

I meet one hyperactive criterion though. I can't sit still. Fiddle toys are a great invention.

Joe, have you heard back from the doctor you emailed?



Joe90
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16 Sep 2021, 6:21 am

renaeden wrote:
Yeah, the "H" for me is inside my head, I'm hyper in my thoughts.

I meet one hyperactive criterion though. I can't sit still. Fiddle toys are a great invention.

Joe, have you heard back from the doctor you emailed?


Yes, I have a telephone appointment next week.

I actually do visibly have the ''H''. I walk fast, work fast, write fast, and can be erratic sometimes.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2021, 7:47 am

I don't walk fast because I have bad knees; otherwise, I could get pretty hyper.



Joe90
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16 Sep 2021, 11:48 am

It's just that I seem to have tick more boxes in the ADHD list than I do in the ASD list.


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Edna3362
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16 Sep 2021, 12:00 pm

'H' is definitely the least relatable trait I have in ADHD. Unless I'm actually high in sugar. :lol:
And it manifests less of an innate energetic like hyperactivity and more of a agitating restlessness or a funny mental state.

'AD' part is, however... :| Inconsistent. A problem for me, but also doesn't resonate in a way ADHD does.
Likely a symptom of poor sleep, hormonal or some metabolic issue than being an ND.

And my childhood accounts do not fit in the picture either.


Even if I do walk fast, work fast, write fast and is just as erratic... I'm sure it's not ADHD in my case. :o
I tried to see it -- it doesn't fit. Because I know this isn't hyperactivity for me.
The former three I know are out of my own habits and impatience, the latter is just my personal brand of moodiness.


Trust you know yourself well enough that it resonates or not.


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Joe90
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17 Sep 2021, 12:05 pm

I also think that ADHD is the reason why I don't have as many friends as other high-functioning Aspies like myself. I know quite a few Aspies (undiagnosed but definitely on the spectrum) and they all seem to have a group of NT friends their age that they can rely on.

My mum's friend has a 14-year-old daughter with lots of autistic traits (she's getting assessed), but she still has friends from school who invite her to parties, and all she's got to do to keep these friends is to turn up to them (even though she hates parties). When I was 14 I was never once invited to any parties, in fact I didn't even know about them. She doesn't have ADHD tendencies though.

And a few other Aspies I know of, like on Facebook, seem to be doing social activities with presumably NT friends/colleagues. But although I have gained a lot of social confidence and social skills needed for interacting with people, I still can't seem to accomplish building friendships. I don't know if it's because of my impulses or daydreamy manner or being mistaken for erratic or nosy, I don't know.

So anyway, ADHD alone can make initiating friendships difficult, and ASD obviously does, but if you have both (but 'mild' Asperger's with social skills) then I think it's even harder.


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SharonB
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17 Sep 2021, 3:11 pm

I wish I had been diagnosed ADHD, but it didn't come up. My evaluator diagnosed me GAD (anxiety), ASD and LD. He said the GAD was secondary to the ASD, but implied GAD was a good "cover". Assuming it's appropriate, I hope you get the ADHD diagnosis! I am pretty sure I have ADHD, but someone recently said there's a psychomotor HSP type. ---@Edna, have you looked at that?

I see the friend thing as additionally personality or needs driven. I have ASD and most likely ADHD (or similar) and have lots of friends, driven by extroversion and/or desperation for an extensive support network. Others observe that I was socially "invisible" until age 16 (and indeed I tested as introverted). Then I suddenly "popped" socially, coincidentally or not when my home life imploded. In my case necessity may have been the mother of invention: I re-invented myself as a "sweet" extrovert. My ASD-like BFF and daughter remain introverted and appear self-contained (= aloof) and don't have friends in the sense that I do. I think I succeed and fail to develop friendships as often as (or fail more than) they do, but I make many, many, many more attempts. I studied advanced communication and psychology to boost mine. I wrote a clinical-like paper for school about meeting my then-boyfriend's parents. Sarcasm: I was such a sweet girl. :twisted:

I'm glad your skills have improved!! I'm sorry your social life is not yet what you want it to be. Wishing it is sooner than later! (I know you have life challenges going on so that schedule may be elongated; hugs.)



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18 Sep 2021, 7:09 pm

I've dug out some old school reports from high school I found in a box, but most of them don't describe ADHD very much. But there are reasons why that might be:-

1. Teachers had to keep the reports positive, even if you aren't the best student
2. I had a learning support worker who helped me keep up to date and organised
3. I was more typical ADHD at home, while at school I was shy and I masked a lot.

But I'm not sure if the people assessing me for ADHD will understand this. But I also found a few home reports my mum had wrote about my behaviour at home (but as a small child), like "very hyperactive", "can be naughty", "can't sit still", "doesn't watch any TV", "loves to climb on everything", "can be loud". She wrote one when I was a teenager, but it included more anxiety and depression behaviours like "afraid of lots of things", "anxious about getting in trouble at school, ie for being late", "separation anxiety from mum", "highly emotional and whiny", "talks about suicide". But a lot of it was due to social isolation and emotional/subtle bullying from peers. I wasn't socially isolated as a small child, although I had a few language difficulties but overcame that before age 6 (plus I had hearing problems too).

There was also a couple of things mentioned (about me as a small child) that I don't think has anything to do with AS or ADHD, like putting my teddy bears to bed (only a temporary phase) and liking long hair. The former isn't abnormal for a small child, and the latter is a common sort of interest in girls, even little girls.


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Edna3362
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19 Sep 2021, 6:26 pm

SharonB wrote:
I wish I had been diagnosed ADHD, but it didn't come up. My evaluator diagnosed me GAD (anxiety), ASD and LD. He said the GAD was secondary to the ASD, but implied GAD was a good "cover". Assuming it's appropriate, I hope you get the ADHD diagnosis! I am pretty sure I have ADHD, but someone recently said there's a psychomotor HSP type. ---@Edna, have you looked at that?

A bit.

It doesn't resonate my case.
Many anxiety based experiences do not resonate with me since age 16.

Even if I have a form of HSP, very vulnerable and prone to many symptoms similarly... It's not the core or the center of what I have.


In terms of AS...
Mine is actually a full blown autism.
Just without the ID and LD or whatever made autism very visible or look and made less manageable.

So yes, I got Aspergers more of a formality indicating that I require less support levels or that my functioning level is higher than whatever severity. :lol:

My language issues still persists to this day. Verbal medium just never felt natural to me.
I'm just very good at compensating. :lol: And compensating constantly.

As for social issues... I'm inherently asocial on top of other things like body language.
In my case it goes beyond the behavioral awkwardness kind that made so many aspies asocial.
I simply have the means to act or not act upon that social indifference.
The culture and upbringing I was born into compensated rather well with it.

And my emotions... My emotions brought me more trouble as a child. It still brought me a lot of trouble now, even if I tried my best.
While there's a notable delay, I'm still growing.

The senses... Unfilthered and overwhelming still, no matter the intensity but the least of my issues.
It would be, if I remain intolerant or have a form of intolerance. And that tolerance affects my reactions.

If I got weak to no tolerance -- I'd be an anxious mess and very likely a nonverbal, uncommunicative and violent kind of mess than an avoidant one.
I fight more than I flight or freeze. I would willfully choose flight or freeze out of restraint if I had any.


... So far, nothing to do with hyperactivity. Or inattentiveness.


As for the psychomotor bit...
:lol: I just like to move or work with my hands. As a child, I have a rather poor language comprehension. The only subject I could possibly comprehend then was activities in PE and arts.

.. I didn't even start trying to comprehend reading until I was 15.



And a lot of records are contradictory for me. :lol: Except moodiness. And more unpredictability.

Yes I have language issues.
Yet at the same time performed better than most peers in that area, enough to intimidate honor students.

No one knows it's a compensation -- no one know I was forced to think like a linguist while trying to manage everything internally.

No one knows it's a form of hyperlexia, because I'm not a precocious reader or gifted in verbal areas like most aspies do.
And my memory isn't that good or perfect -- I just had to understand and absorb things quickly.


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SharonB
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20 Sep 2021, 5:13 pm

Joe90 wrote:
...3. I was more typical ADHD at home, while at school I was shy and I masked a lot.

But I'm not sure if the people assessing me for ADHD will understand this.


Did you hear back from the medical team yet?

Masking, like: I sat so very still during my ASD evaluation, except when I knocked over my tea cup with a wild gesture, and made sure I listened carefully, even though I couldn't really understand what was being said b/c my thoughts were racing.

The primary "Lack of focus" symptom always gets me. I am highly focused... on my interests. Albeit to get through school lectures or a work staff meeting was PAINFUL. At work even after my tea cup was empty, I would pick it up... repeatedly. Mostly I doodled.

My evaluator didn't suggest ADHD for me (we weren't "looking for" it), although he said perhaps a mood something. I am often told I am the most energetic person that people have met (even at 50yo). I've got the "H" going on Big Time. My cat knew that - I don't have a "lap" to sit it, I'm always moving. But I can sit still when I need to (and count tiles on the floor). When desperate for motion, I rotate my hips and nobody can see that, unless they are super perceptive.



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20 Sep 2021, 5:20 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
...Even if I have a form of HSP, very vulnerable and prone to many symptoms similarly... It's not the core or the center of what I have. ....


Edna, I relate to so much of your post. Of course there are differences (social vs asocial), but there is so much more that is similar (verbal struggles, reading difficulties, emotions, senses).

My therapist says that my high ability to compensate/mask is a blessing and a curse.



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21 Sep 2021, 2:47 pm

I'm now worried my boyfriend might somehow find out that I have Asperger's, through my ADHD assessment/diagnosis. When the doctor spoke to me on the phone, she went through my medical records and mentioned Asperger's. I just hate that word lurking about on my medical records. I'm just so afraid that it's going to be revealed to the world beyond my control one day, just like when I was a child. I don't want to be associated with autism around my boyfriend because I'm scared he might look at me in a whole different light and think that autism means psychotic or 'retarded' or something (even though he knows me well enough to not think I'm psychotic or retarded but it still fills me with dread). He has a mentally ill son, not on the spectrum but I think he has schizophrenia and anger management issues, though we're not sure as we don't see him much. I think my boyfriend gets embarrassed about his son's behaviour.

ADHD isn't so bad because it's self-explanatory. Autism is named incorrectly (self-ism) and I don't want to be associated with self-ism. It would be better if autism or Asperger's was named Social Communication Sensory Disorder or SCSD, then people might not be as afraid of it. I hate the word Asperger's, and I hate the word autism. Asperger's couldn't have been named after a guy with a more hideous name that British people can't pronounce properly, and autism is an isolating sort of name that makes you sound selfish and ignorant and asocial. I hate it.


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21 Sep 2021, 2:55 pm

^ Have you ever asked what he actually thinks about various labels? All of them, not just AS.

And does he know... You won't judge his son?


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21 Sep 2021, 10:36 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Have I done the right thing?

I worry that I'll just get an email back saying that ADHD doesn't exist or that all my ADHD symptoms are just symptoms of my already existing ASD diagnosis that lurks on my medical records, and this may make me feel depressed and angry about myself.

If it does all go through, would my ASD diagnosis be revealed at all? For example, if I do receive a diagnosis for ADHD will ASD be mentioned in a letter in the mail or something that says I have ADHD? My biggest fear is ASD being revealed beyond my control to others who don't know I have it (I'm not so ashamed of ADHD as I am ASD).

Why does this feel like a potential danger? Is your boyfriend in the habit of reading your mail (either your email or your postal mail, or both)? Do you have nosy neighbors who have been known to snoop in other people's mailboxes?

Joe90 wrote:
I would really benefit having a diagnosis of ADHD because I can explain to people about it without feeling like I'm lying.

I have written down in a notebook all the reasons why I think I have ADHD, including childhood. The only thing is, I don't think I have kept any reports from school, and if I did most of them say that I was "a quiet member of the class", which will probably go against me because kids with ADHD are supposed to be loud and obnoxious.

Please, I hope this is worth doing.

Having the ASD diagnosis in your records may work to your advantage. It shows, at the very least, that you have a history of some developmental disability, even if you think the specific disability was misdiagnosed.

I would suggest that you also make a list of all the reasons why you believe that your ASD diagnosis was probably a misdiagnosis, in addition to all the reasons why you believe that what you really have is ADHD instead. I would suggest that you email both these lists to the person who does your evaluation, once you manage to get an appointment set up, and perhaps also you should show these lists to the person from whom you are requesting a referral.

It is well-known that ADHD causes social difficulties too. The question is whether ADHD would be sufficient to explain the particular social difficulties you've had during your life.


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Joe90
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22 Sep 2021, 4:26 am

Quote:
Why does this feel like a potential danger? Is your boyfriend in the habit of reading your mail (either your email or your postal mail, or both)? Do you have nosy neighbors who have been known to snoop in other people's mailboxes?


Well, no, but usually my boyfriend is curious about my mail, as we do share everything together (except for stupid AS diagnosis but I don't share that with anyone, barely even myself. Only here). If he is there when I get the mail I don't want to have to quickly hide it out the way otherwise he will wonder why I'm being secretive. It won't be so bad if I receive the results of the diagnosis via email.
I just wish AS wasn't mentioned in everything.

I don't think I was misdiagnosed as such, but I think ADHD and anxiety are the 'dominant' conditions I have while Asperger's or 'autistic traits' is co-morbid, but I can't be sure. I was fine at preschool, then when I started at school at 4 years of age I had a couple of weeks where I presented some autistic-like behaviours, but then I overcame them rather quickly (within a few weeks). I did have a support worker to help with my work at school so if I hadn't I think my ADHD symptoms would have been more prominent. Also I had good parents - my mum was a very organised person so she helped me get organised with my homework.

I can't really say I'm not on the spectrum or I not got autism traits because that would just be me being in denial, but I definitely know I have ADHD and I do want an official diagnosis.


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