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dorkseid
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08 Sep 2021, 10:26 pm

Well, I have some things in mind:

I’m tired of the ridiculous healthcare system. I want to be able to go see a doctor when I need to without worrying about breaking the bank.

Being able to form social relationships within the community. I’m on the autism spectrum, so that is very challenging for me. I’ve found that when I’m abroad, people generally don’t expect me to know all the nuances of social interaction because I’m foreign, and that helps. Until I’ve had the opportunity to master the local language, I’ll need to be able interact meaningfully with people. My autism makes dating in America impossible, and I’m about to turn 40. So I need to able meet and have relationships with women.

I grew up in a Muslim majority society, and I have been living in Oklahoma for most of the past two decades. I really want to go somewhere religion doesn’t have so strong an influence on everything. In my experience, people in Muslim countries are very welcoming. But the one thing that bothers me is the strict gender segregation. Growing up in Libya, I went to all-boys schools and had very little interaction with girls and women who were not immediate family members. When I returned to the US for college, just being in the same space with women was a new and unfamiliar experience for me. I really don’t want to go back to that.

I don’t want to make money a big deal, but I do owe a lot on my student loans. So I would need to be somewhere I make enough to stay on top of that.

I’d prefer to live somewhere that has adequate public transportation. I’d like to not need to own a car to reasonably get around.

I am completing my Master’s in education. I am primarily interested in teaching. I have some background in teaching English to foreign speakers. I briefly taught in Libya and taught online for a few years.

Here are my thoughts on the pros and cons of some countries:

Canada: Good infrastructure. Relatively easy to get permanent residence and citizenship. But a little too close to the US geographically and culturally.

Scandinavia: excellent place to live. Some of the highest living standards in the world. But extremely difficult to immigrate to. May not be a viable option.

Western Europe: Good infrastructure and standards of living, but not sure how easy it is to immigrate. They typically give preference to EU citizens when sponsoring workers.

Turkey: I’ve heard a lot of good things, and they have a large market for expat workers and teachers. But I’m hesitant because of my past experience with Muslim majority countries; particularly the gender segregation. Not sure how that works out in Turkey.

China: strong economy and market, great culture. But the government is tyrannical and there are way too many human rights violations. The air is heavily polluted in many areas. And I’ve heard that they have recently been getting rid of many of their foreign teachers. Hard pass.

Japan: Perfect on paper. Always wanted to go. Great culture and scenery. Very safe. Great public transportation to reach any part of the country within hours. Problem is that most employers require you to already be present in the country to be considered for a job. It is impossible to get citizenship and difficult to get permanent residence. I’d be completely relying on employer sponsorship. I don’t want to end up in a situation where I have to leave and have nowhere to return to in the US.

South Korea: from what I hear it seems like Japan light. Would rather just go to Japan.

Philippines: lots of beautiful women eager to throw themselves at middle aged American men, but I’ve heard it’s difficult to find a decent paying job.

Mexico and South America: great culture, but very low paying for English teachers. I have student loans to think about. Kind of wonder why so many people from there are so desperate to get into the US.

UAE: Great earning potential, lots of expats. But I'm not comfortable living under Islamic rules.

Please pardon my ignorance. I have not been to any of these countries, so my knowledge is limited. I’d love to learn more about other countries.



1986
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08 Sep 2021, 11:10 pm

My opinion on countries I have lived in. For visa matters, perhaps Reddit?

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Western Europe: Good infrastructure and standards of living, but not sure how easy it is to immigrate. They typically give preference to EU citizens when sponsoring workers.

It's true that rules concerning EU residents' movement between states are relaxed. Not so to people outside. The large European cities (think Paris, Berlin, etc) have a substantial foreign population, probably 20-30% in some places. You need to prove you can finance your stay and your visa, which I guess means getting a job offer or a spot at the uni in advance. Day-to-day expenses are high, the cosmopolitan culture is rich, but the locals don't always mix well with the foreigners.

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Scandinavia: excellent place to live. Some of the highest living standards in the world. But extremely difficult to immigrate to. May not be a viable option.

Norway, Denmark and Finland are tougher on immigration than Sweden. Sweden recently rewamped their immigration system, so might be harder now. Again, you need a job offer, someone willing to sponsor you. People in all countries, especially Sweden, speak excellent English and I dunno how much need for English teachers they have. IIRC they don't have enough primary and secondary school teachers in many subjects.

https://www.migrationsverket.se/English/Startpage.html
https://arbetsformedlingen.se/other-lan ... h-engelska

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Japan: Perfect on paper. Always wanted to go. Great culture and scenery. Very safe. Great public transportation to reach any part of the country within hours. Problem is that most employers require you to already be present in the country to be considered for a job. It is impossible to get citizenship and difficult to get permanent residence. I’d be completely relying on employer sponsorship. I don’t want to end up in a situation where I have to leave and have nowhere to return to in the US.

Safe = yes. Good public transport = yes. Better healthcare than US = yes. But notoriously hard to live in as an English teacher (even though that's the most common route). Not much mixing between locals and foreigners means loneliness and homesickness (and depression) might hit you hard. You can get citizenship and permanent residency, but it requires a stable income, someone to act as a guarantor, a spotless record, and time. If you're lucky to get married, your visa situation improves (no restriction on work, permanent residence application possible after 3 years, etc.). OBSERVE that the border is virtually closed atm due to the pandemic.

https://www.reddit.com/r/teachinginjapan/

Of the places I've lived in, I'd rank:
1) Japan
2) Scandinavia
3) Western Europe



dorkseid
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09 Sep 2021, 6:25 am

1986 wrote:
If you're lucky to get married, your visa situation improves (no restriction on work, permanent residence application possible after 3 years, etc.).


And what are the odds of getting that lucky? From what I've heard, women aren't as eager to nab a foreign husband as they are in some other Asian countries.



Nades
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09 Sep 2021, 7:02 am

Japan is a notoriously xenophobic country with a abysmal work/life balance. I would keep away Japan at all costs unless it's for visiting for a week or two for sight seeing.

You also have to keep in mind they're extremely conformist and traditional which is the complete opposite of what people with ASD are.



kraftiekortie
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09 Sep 2021, 7:27 am

Turkey is a very secular Islamic country. Especially in the city and tourist areas, people are very "western" in outlook.



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09 Sep 2021, 11:02 am

dorkseid wrote:
I grew up in a Muslim majority society, and I have been living in Oklahoma for most of the past two decades. I really want to go somewhere religion doesn’t have so strong an influence on everything. In my experience, people in Muslim countries are very welcoming. But the one thing that bothers me is the strict gender segregation. Growing up in Libya, I went to all-boys schools and had very little interaction with girls and women who were not immediate family members. When I returned to the US for college, just being in the same space with women was a new and unfamiliar experience for me. I really don’t want to go back to that.


Has it occurred to you that, along with your autism, your background could be another reason that puts you at a major disadvantage at the "dating market?" To majority of Americans, I'd say that getting to interact with the opposite sex is a norm, something they're so used to that it's not really even thought about, except maybe in the most hormonal phase, so to American men raised in America, speaking to women is something they've done all their lives, and likewise, women are used to men who are used to talking to women. So, most men have an advantage over you, and if you're more awkward around the women than what they're used to due to your upbringing, that'll likely make them uncomfortable.

Sorry if this is sidetracking the thread too much. Getting to the actual topic now!

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Canada: Good infrastructure. Relatively easy to get permanent residence and citizenship. But a little too close to the US geographically and culturally.


Another minus I can think of is that they're sure to have lots of native English speakers as teachers already, so being a native English speaker wouldn't give you the kind of advantage it would in countries where English isn't an official language.

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Scandinavia: excellent place to live. Some of the highest living standards in the world. But extremely difficult to immigrate to. May not be a viable option.


Ya, that's what I've heard. If you were an EU citizen, it'd be easier to move to Scandinavia or other Northern countries not really included in it, but as an American... paper work. Lots of it. Then again, there's gonna be lots of it when moving to another country anyway. Plus, if you get a job before you move, someone from work could likely help you with the paperwork. Note that salaries might be low compared to USA due to high taxes, though.

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Western Europe: Good infrastructure and standards of living, but not sure how easy it is to immigrate. They typically give preference to EU citizens when sponsoring workers.


True, but due to Brexit, the competition shouldn't be as hard anymore 'cause it won't be as easy for Brits as it used to be. I'd recommend looking in to the immigration policies of Germany, Netherlands, France etc.

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Turkey: I’ve heard a lot of good things, and they have a large market for expat workers and teachers. But I’m hesitant because of my past experience with Muslim majority countries; particularly the gender segregation. Not sure how that works out in Turkey.


From my understanding it can be pretty bad, but not in the cities and areas very focused on tourism. Westerners wouldn't come by so much if the rules were very strict. Maybe you could move to a more tourist filled area? Locals there might want to learn to speak English better in order to communicate better with customers and make their business flourish!
...Not that I have any idea how good English an average tourist area worker in Turkey speaks; they could already be really good at it for all I know. But it wouldn't hurt you to look in to it, as well as to the cultural rules of those areas.

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China: strong economy and market, great culture. But the government is tyrannical and there are way too many human rights violations. The air is heavily polluted in many areas. And I’ve heard that they have recently been getting rid of many of their foreign teachers. Hard pass.


Yeah, it's risky. They're also regulating private teaching, which you would've probably had the best shot at, really hard these days. Passing on this one is probably wise.

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Japan: Perfect on paper. Always wanted to go. Great culture and scenery. Very safe. Great public transportation to reach any part of the country within hours. Problem is that most employers require you to already be present in the country to be considered for a job. It is impossible to get citizenship and difficult to get permanent residence. I’d be completely relying on employer sponsorship. I don’t want to end up in a situation where I have to leave and have nowhere to return to in the US.


Getting citizenship there is hard and takes lots of time, but it's not impossible. Still, like has been mentioned, the work culture there is usually really hard, so unless you're ready to prioritize work above other things and ready to lots of (likely unpaid) overwork, I'd say pass on working there.

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Mexico and South America: great culture, but very low paying for English teachers. I have student loans to think about. Kind of wonder why so many people from there are so desperate to get into the US.


You kinda answered your own question, at least when it comes to some of the immigrants: they want to get to US to make more money.



dorkseid
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09 Sep 2021, 8:25 pm

Fireblossom wrote:

Has it occurred to you that, along with your autism, your background could be another reason that puts you at a major disadvantage at the "dating market?" To majority of Americans, I'd say that getting to interact with the opposite sex is a norm, something they're so used to that it's not really even thought about, except maybe in the most hormonal phase, so to American men raised in America, speaking to women is something they've done all their lives, and likewise, women are used to men who are used to talking to women. So, most men have an advantage over you, and if you're more awkward around the women than what they're used to due to your upbringing, that'll likely make them uncomfortable.



At this point, I've been in the US for over 18 years and am accustomed to interacting socially with women. I have in fact had many female friends. So this has not been a problem for me for quite sometime now.



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09 Sep 2021, 10:48 pm

There are differences between countries, of course, but there are also very big differences within countries. Just the urban/rural split is huge. Where do you want to fit on that spectrum, and what is that sector like in each country?

FWIW, I'm in rural Canada, and although the health care is free, it is also a gamble with poor odds in rural areas. The housing market has gone insane, too, which is why I'm rural.



1986
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12 Sep 2021, 11:43 pm

Quote:
And what are the odds of getting that lucky? From what I've heard, women aren't as eager to nab a foreign husband as they are in some other Asian countries.

Foreign (Caucasian) husband / Japanese wife is quite a common combination, but uncommon if we take society as a whole. Japan is a rich G7 country with plenty of well-to-do young businessmen cruising around in their Porsches. I reckon you've got a good chance with girls scoring around 5-6/10 here, less so with the higher percentiles. That said, their image of "the ideal man" is quite different from Western countries. I see a lot of scrawny, bespectacled, slightly dorky men dating Japanese women who'd be out of their range in their country of origin. (Looks at self in mirror.)

Doesn't mean everything will be sunshine and rainbows if you decide to tie the knot ...



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18 Sep 2021, 9:55 am

1986 wrote:
Quote:
And what are the odds of getting that lucky? From what I've heard, women aren't as eager to nab a foreign husband as they are in some other Asian countries.

Foreign (Caucasian) husband / Japanese wife is quite a common combination, but uncommon if we take society as a whole. Japan is a rich G7 country with plenty of well-to-do young businessmen cruising around in their Porsches. I reckon you've got a good chance with girls scoring around 5-6/10 here, less so with the higher percentiles. That said, their image of "the ideal man" is quite different from Western countries. I see a lot of scrawny, bespectacled, slightly dorky men dating Japanese women who'd be out of their range in their country of origin. (Looks at self in mirror.)

Doesn't mean everything will be sunshine and rainbows if you decide to tie the knot ...


I'm a fat slightly dorky man with perfect eye sight. The fat part is what I think will get looked down upon in Japan. I also do not know how financially successful I can be in Japan.

One idea I've had is, since I already know Arabic, if I learn Japanese I could become a Japanese/Arabic interpreter. There are many successful Arab business men Japanese investors might be interested in working with. Though almost all Arab business men know English, so I don't know if would really offer anything a typical Japanese/English interpreter wouldn't. And I don't know how difficult it is to master Japanese.

I think I'd probably have better luck with women in places like Philippines or Thailand.



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18 Sep 2021, 10:02 am

dorkseid wrote:
I think I'd probably have better luck with women in places like Philippines or Thailand.


It sounds as if that is where you really want to go - to a woman. FWIW, I never had any luck at all with the women I approached. I did get considerable experience by noticing which women were interested in me, and then letting them continue to imagine things about me.



dorkseid
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18 Sep 2021, 10:37 am

Dear_one wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I think I'd probably have better luck with women in places like Philippines or Thailand.


It sounds as if that is where you really want to go - to a woman. FWIW, I never had any luck at all with the women I approached. I did get considerable experience by noticing which women were interested in me, and then letting them continue to imagine things about me.


Not that simple. I also want financial security. From what I've heard, its difficult to find a decent job in the Philippines.

Aside from my ex-fiancé, who targeted me specifically for my vulnerabilities, I have only met 2 or 3 women in my entire life who showed signs of romantic interest in me. And all of them were of the types I know I want to avoid. Even my my ex, I was unattracted to and settled for out of desperation.



1986
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20 Sep 2021, 5:30 am

dorkseid wrote:
I'm a fat slightly dorky man with perfect eye sight. The fat part is what I think will get looked down upon in Japan. I also do not know how financially successful I can be in Japan.

One idea I've had is, since I already know Arabic, if I learn Japanese I could become a Japanese/Arabic interpreter. There are many successful Arab business men Japanese investors might be interested in working with. Though almost all Arab business men know English, so I don't know if would really offer anything a typical Japanese/English interpreter wouldn't. And I don't know how difficult it is to master Japanese.

I think I'd probably have better luck with women in places like Philippines or Thailand.

I've seen somewhat fat people here with thin girlfriends. It's not a dealbreaker. My point was more that it doesn't matter so much what you look like, because, tbh, many women here don't necessarily go for the Japanese hunk, anyway. Japan is huge and there are plenty of women willing to go for an average dude looks-wise. However, you'll be expected to carry you, her, and children financially after marriage. An english teacher salary usually does not cut the mustard, which is one reason a lot of them move back to the West once the children are old enough to start school.

Japanese is hard to learn (think at least 3 years full-time study, no job, and immersion, to go from zero to hero). The translation business is crowded. It's good you speak Arabic though, definitely something to bring to the table in the business world. It's not only about the language, your cultural know-how (even if only assumed) carries you too. IMO the big money lies in translating important stuff, like contracts and other business documents. That and direct oral translation (which is an amazing skill if you can acquire it).

About Philippines and South-East Asian women ... beware that there are many men fishing there with less-than-ideal motives. I'm sure you're aware of "Asian fetish", well ... there's a lot of it there.



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20 Sep 2021, 5:42 am

Come to Australia. You can get in on a skilled work visa.


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20 Sep 2021, 6:36 am

The best place to go maybe where you live now sorry.

It’s hard to make it in a foreign country especially hard if you have autism.

Many people fantasize about emigration without realizing how hard it is.

I don’t know much about you, but if you have a transferable skill that doesn’t require too high language skills like plumbing for example you may have a chance in an English speaking country.

You have to remember if your a US citizen and go to a much poorer country you will be looked at as money bags by the locals and potentially someone to exploit for that reason. It’s sad and not very nice.

Some jobs like teaching English is poorly paid and full of people who will rip you off.

If you really need to get away maybe look at Canada as it’s the nearest alternative.


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dorkseid
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20 Sep 2021, 4:48 pm

carlos55 wrote:
The best place to go maybe where you live now sorry.

It’s hard to make it in a foreign country especially hard if you have autism.

Many people fantasize about emigration without realizing how hard it is.

I don’t know much about you, but if you have a transferable skill that doesn’t require too high language skills like plumbing for example you may have a chance in an English speaking country.

You have to remember if your a US citizen and go to a much poorer country you will be looked at as money bags by the locals and potentially someone to exploit for that reason. It’s sad and not very nice.

Some jobs like teaching English is poorly paid and full of people who will rip you off.

If you really need to get away maybe look at Canada as it’s the nearest alternative.


RetroGamer87 wrote:
Come to Australia. You can get in on a skilled work visa.


What you do not understand is that I am already living with most of the disadvantages of being an immigrant even in my country of citizenship. My family all lives in Libya. I am not a Libyan citizen and do not have legal residence there. I could not go there even if I wanted to. I am all alone here in the US, and I have no social safety net. I have been homeless multiple times as a result.

Australia or Canada might be some of the more realistic options, especially after I complete my master's. But I doubt that my social problems will improve in those places.