Dealing with everyone's hatred

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I'm pretty much universally hated by everyone that i've ever made an effort to connect with, so I simply don't attempt to make connections anymore and remain completely alone 100% of the time, never seeing or speaking to anybody anymore. It cripples me emotionally and I've been contemplating my exit from this world for quite some time now.

How do the rest of you cope?

Why do folks...turn on you, and "hate" you?

What is that you do that apparently rubs them the wrong way?

Maybe something you could try is join some discord servers with a voice chat channel and invite someone to chat with you. Record your conversations and compare them to conversations other people have. Note the small details of what you do or don't do, and what other people do or don't do.

Some discord servers tend to have busy voice chat channels during certain times in the day, so you could easily just join the channel and listen in while you're muted.

Tip: In case this is the case for you, you might not realize but there are certain things that are almost universally unpleasant for people but seem normal to you, like:
- Complaining a lot
- Habitually expressing anger or intense annoyance
- Frequently pointing out their mistakes
- Insulting/bluntly criticizing them
- Sharing too many details regarding your sexual interests
- Not taking the time to listen and care about what the other person is saying, or respond to what they're saying
- Talking a lot about a subject that they have no interest in
- Speaking in a way that is difficult to understand, like not taking the time to properly pronounce words, talking too fast, adding in random fun words or sounds that you like but confuse other people, constantly using slang or memes that they might not know or may be inappropriate for the situation, or speaking with a severe speech impediment.

To clarify, I'm not accusing you of doing any of those things. I'm just listing some things that some people tend to do that tend to be very unattractive or obnoxious in a conversation. Also, some of those things can be done in such a way that isn't undesirable, but if you're already having trouble with normal conversation then it's best not to attempt riskier, more difficult stuff.

Maybe you are mistaking boredom for hatred. The latter does not just leave; it attacks. It is generally hard to start a conversation with a stranger. A point of mutual concern is the best starting point - is the bus late? Is it often late? From there, you can ask what troubles that causes, and volunteer how it affects your life. If you both get in trouble at work over the bus, you can start to discuss bosses.
With people you see regularly, there is more expectation of interacting politely, for mutual reassurance that there is no simmering conflict. "How are you?" is not a real question, though. If possible, you reply "Fine" and save the details for a more determined query. To keep a conversation going, try to listen well at least half the time. If others are not reacting to what you have to share, ask more questions. Remembering what people were concerned with last time is good. Once someone has told you a few things about themselves, they will feel that they know you better. They develop an emotional connection and assume that you are broadly like themselves, even though all they know is that you don't actively dispute certain things.
If people react badly to you on sight, you can change your appearance, or seek out similar-looking rejects for companionship. If you have to, work on your smile. It can really work for you. You may notice that people even smile to change their tone of voice. Comedians can say outrageous things in a friendly, smiling way and find common ground.

I have a real tough time structuring conversations, which generally cause them to fall flat. I'm not one for thinking on my feet, I require time to process the subject matter before I can deliver an appropriate response. Time that just isn't there in real life situations.

I should mention that people do attack me verbally in angry outbursts. But these outbursts don't explain why they're angry with me. They'll call be a creep or a freak and tell me that nobody likes me. But they won't explain why they think that about me. Asking them either leads to further verbal outbursts or just being completely ignored.

I think back over the conversations and try to work out what I said or did that leads people to this conclusion of me and I'm left feeling completely puzzled every time as well as deeply depressed.

Damn, that sound rather awful. Unfortunately we can't really weigh in on those conversations. If you yourself can't see or understand what's wrong then it'll be difficult for people to analyze the situation through you. Based on what you've said, I'd say either you aren't aware that you're doing something socially unacceptable or you're just extremely unlucky and keep getting into contact with abusive people with aggression issues, but it could also be something different.

You need direct feedback from someone's first-hand experience of your socializing, someone you can trust to be socially able and knowledgeable and that can give you impartial analysis' and recommendations. A social therapist would be a pretty decent source of help, someone who seems fairly socially successful in communities, or get a mass opinion from a bunch of random people and try sort through all the biases and whatnot to try and figure out some useful info.

Unfortunately I can't help in that. Although I'm socially knowledgeable enough, I have my own issues to deal with that prevent me from volunteering myself for a 1 on 1 chat.

I'd advise you to do your best to record one of these conversations that seems to treat you so badly. With that you could at least post it online to get a large sample of people's opinion, giving you at least some feedback you can work with.

Agreed that you should try to get a recording of at least a sample of these encounters. Video with sound would give the most clues. You might want to show them to a professional counsellor.
Light conversation does not require much thought. It can be carried out with just a few stock phrases in a predictable pattern. Agreeing on the pleasantness or lack of that in the weather is usually easy, so if you always find a reason to disagree, that bodes poorly for further communication.
A weird approach would be to start talking about fluorescent minerals or tumours in mice when the usual conversation is about sports and TV shows. Changing the subject is usually rude, although some big side-steps are OK. You also can't pet a cat that has just run for its life, nor chat with someone preoccupied with a small crisis. If the cashier has a long line of customers, it is not a good time. A creepy opening mentions sex with only one person being turned on. Keep it light until you have more experience.
There is also a chance that a whole school, jobsite, or neighbourhood has been infected with malicious gossip about you. Even if that has been the only real problem, it has left you needing practice. When conversation starts to flow, it won't feel natural, so expect it to come in short exchanges that give you pleasant memories, or at least neutral ones. You might try to master conversations of increasing length, starting from just one exchange, and only pushing to the next length after getting confident at each level.

To Fraser_S:

You live in the U.K., where, as far as I can tell, the autistic community is better-developed than anywhere else in the world.

I would suggest that you seek out local support groups for adults on the autism spectrum. Hopefully they'll be able to start meeting in-person again soon.

"There's more joy at a Glasgow funeral than an Edinburgh wedding."
- Billy Connolly.

This might be a useful resource. There are loads of different types of groups in Edinburgh. Use the filters to narrow down your search and put in your location to find groups near you?


NHS inform Scot

Don't forget: this is the Internet. It's full of people who just want to insult other people for no reason. They have some stupid axe to grind. Do you get this sort of thing in "real life," too?

I'm not sure what you do, or don't do. But I do feel other people shouldn't just insult you just for the hell of it.

Fraser_S, I sent you a private-message in response to your post. I thought I'd let you know here in case you typically don't check your private-messages.

^^ My counsellor concurs that if someone asks "How are you?" and you reply "Fairly suicidal, thanks!" in a cheery tone of voice, they will never hear the middle word.