Are you "too friendly"?

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I don't see anything wrong with being "nice"---as long as one doesn't let people take advantage of the "niceness."

I wouldn't give away something that is of value to me

I’m friendly and people often trust me with all sorts of private stuff, but I’m very tight-lipped about my own personal life. It’s like I don’t know how to talk about it. I think it’s hard to tell people some stuff while avoiding everything that I don’t want to share, which is a lot!

I'm sorry your immediate family treated you that way.

You deserve nice things too. Others are not more important than you. Another method you could try using to stop yourself from giving your stuff away is to have a discussion about the item, informing them where to purchase one for themselves and how useful it is to you. Don't, under any circumstances, offer to buy it for them!

I am nicer to people than I would like to be. I'm naturally rather feisty and argumentative, but other people have feelings and stuff, so I try to be nicer just to be safe. For me personally, becoming nice and considerate showed growth, maturity and self control. I know I could just open my mouth and rip someone to pieces, but I choose to be nice and helpful. It is a choice, and that boosts my confidence instead of diminishes it.

Often had stages in my life where I appear to others as being too friendly which eventually ends up with me dissasociating myself with everyone and withdrawing myself and gradually re-introducing people back into my life and this cycle would repeat...

But finally I have learned a tactic which works and that is if I find someone who starts to be come a good friend I will distance myself because I like them and I do not want them to find me as a burden to them.

Online is different because it has a buffer zone.

Also a dating boyfriend/girlfriend situation is different because one is not seen as a burden.

I don't want to put myself down in what I say, because I do not think I am doing anything wrong. Is more that in the past I have made friends and then lose them because I have somehow been seen as a "Oh no. Not "Him" again!" type of person, which I never intended to be. (So I would then distance myself and the people will get upset if I distance myself so I do not know what to do).


What I am saying is that other people would be welcomed but I would be feeling like others would rather I not be friends to them, but at the same time they appear to be friendly?
Nope! I don't get it so in real life (As in not on the internet) I do tend to distance myself so I don't end up feeling like I am bothering people.

Many times I have been told I am too nice.

I once had a girl reject me for a date because she said I was too nice.

Not as much, but I do feel like I'm a huge people pleaser. As in, I try anything that I can to not make people upset unless they don't like me. This basically got my Discord account hijacked because I felt like I would be hurting the guy's feelings if I said no to them. Despite the fact that it was a scam from the start and nobody really told me about it until I made a Reddit post about what happened.

I probably used to behave more familiarly with people than some of them felt comfortable with. I was never openly told that but sometimes I noticed people backing off and looking a bit scared of me. I was probably rather indiscreet and irreverent, and would presume they wanted to hear me say whatever came into my head that I thought was interesting or witty. I've never liked using honorifics and always preferred forenames whoever it was. It was like "if we're not big mates, why are we talking to each other? I used to think they were a bit odd for being so stand-offish and straight laced. I think in my heart of hearts I wanted to be a big cuddly dog.

I've modified my interpersonal style to better match the world's expectations since those days, and I've probably become rather more dignified and snobbish myself. But I still liked it when I found the country folks in Arkansas were friendlier than the city people in the UK. Arkansans, particularly the older ones, will often chatter away with complete strangers as if they've known them for years.

I lacked the typical amount of "stranger danger" as a child. Even now I am "overly" open.

There is a "too nice" characteristic associated with physical aspects called "Angelman's Syndrome" which overlaps with ASD. I relate strongly to it, but without the strong physical aspects (albeit my ASD daughter and I both had a hint of scoliosis as kids).

If mirror neurons are a thing then I suspect mine are hyperactive.