Is it weird to enjoy going to a hospital?

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KitLily
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02 Oct 2022, 9:50 am

That must have been awful for you Aspie1! How horrible. I'm sorry your parents treated you like that! Ugh.

I've found that children's doctors and nurses were the kindest people, much better than the ones for adults. And me and my husband would never disbelieve our daughter was in pain, why would we. That's cruel.


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Aspie1
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02 Oct 2022, 10:03 am

KitLily wrote:
I've found that children's doctors and nurses were the kindest people, much better than the ones for adults. And me and my husband would never disbelieve our daughter was in pain, why would we. That's cruel.
Well, due to anatomy/biology, children feel pain much more strongly than adults do. So, a Covid-19 shot that feels like a paper cut to a 30-something parent feels like a hornet sting to an 8-year-old child. But adults often forget that. So they end up dismissing children's fears of medical procedures as "cowardliness". Case in point: when I had to get IV's or blood work as a child, I felt like one of the victims in the movie "Hostel". Today, it's more disgust than pain, like "ugh! there's a needle in me". And the phlebotomists do a good job of distracting me with pep talks and/or questions about my work. Plus, I can make small talk with other patients in the gowned waiting room, which I find relaxing; as a kid, that's not an option.

Ironically, until 1988, babies were operated on without anesthesia. 8O This included circumcisions, both for Jews and gentiles. Doctors believed that babies didn't feel pain until 1 year old or so. Good thing that changed!



KitLily
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03 Oct 2022, 6:50 am

I've got no sympathy with parents like that, sorry. They are jerks. A basic observation of their child's reaction to a medical procedure should be enough to know they are feeling pain or at least fear :x


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kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2022, 8:42 am

Babies feel pain even in the womb.

It's only common sense. Why else do babies tremor and cry when they get their shots? It's certainly not to put on a show!



IsabellaLinton
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03 Oct 2022, 10:02 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The OP is speaking of his experiences as an outpatient.

I doubt he would like spending time in a hospital overnight or for many days.


I have the same sensory problems in outpatient that I would if I stayed.

I can't tolerate the bright lights, the noise of those big doors, waiting rooms with televisions going and background music playing and people talking, walking past food areas where I can smell the food, complicated sign in procedures, repeating my information to person after person after person, trying to follow instructions I can never remember (gown facing forward or back? Where do I put my clothes? Where do I wait?), figuring out how to ask a question without interrupting, seeming confrontational, or making any eye contact, answering question after question from them, and making endless small talk with the techs when I'm waiting.

The procedures themselves don't bother me. I'd rather be left alone with an MRI machine, jabbed with needles, or have invasive surgery with body parts removed, than deal with the sensory-social hell.

Oh and did I mention the hell of trying to park? It sometimes takes me 30-40 minutes driving through parking garages just to find a spot, even though I have a wheelchair permit.

I almost forgot the Covid screening protocol too. Standing in queue outside for 20 minutes and going through a series of screening booths similar to airport customs, showing ID and jab history, having temperature done, getting coloured stickers, being treated like a criminal for setting foot on their property, and having to switch my mask for their awful ones.

Just, no thanks.



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2022, 10:07 am

Hospitals don't really appeal to me, either.....

It can be a real hassle, to say the least.



IsabellaLinton
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03 Oct 2022, 10:10 am

I get the joy of going to one later today.
I can't wait.

My mother gets a needle in each eye.
Ten seconds of work.
It takes 3-4 hours of waiting.

:roll:



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2022, 10:12 am

Indeed, that sucks. Both for her and for you.



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03 Oct 2022, 10:31 am

Parking is a pain at the hospital where we get our medical care, too.

And, I rather like getting an MRI. Except, I think they should have frequent breaks for scratching your chin and/or nose!


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03 Oct 2022, 11:58 am

KitLily wrote:
I've got no sympathy with parents like that, sorry. They are jerks. A basic observation of their child's reaction to a medical procedure should be enough to know they are feeling pain or at least fear :x

I think a big reason, although not the only one, I feel so comfortable in the hospital is the lack of "bravery theatre" I had to put on as a child. I look scared? It's OK. I blurt out "yeow!" when a needle goes in my arm? It's OK. I nervously fidget with my gown strings? It's OK. I bombard the MRI tech with questions? It's OK. Basically, anything short of running off or damaging property is OK. Come to think of it, I'm less "brave" today than when I was a child.

It's also scary how adult patients are treated with much more dignity than pediatric patients. My pediatricians always laughed at me when I asked anything more technical than "Will the needle hurt?" Techs and specialists had more respect, and usually did answer me.



KitLily
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03 Oct 2022, 12:05 pm

Jeez. The American system must be harsh. All doctors and nurses were polite and caring to my daughter. One nurse called her 'little princess' and fussed over her. She is a very cute little girl though.

Even when I burst into tears because I was so exhausted and frightened for her life, they put me to bed in a spare room.

Our government wants to sell off our NHS to American insurance companies however!! ! :x


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Aspie1
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03 Oct 2022, 12:27 pm

KitLily wrote:
Jeez. The American system must be harsh. All doctors and nurses were polite and caring to my daughter. One nurse called her 'little princess' and fussed over her. She is a very cute little girl though.

Poor bedside manners aren't uncommon among US pediatricians, UNLESS you go to a designated children's hospital or clinic. But those didn't become common until mid 1990's, when I got too old for pediatry. So when I started seeing regular adult doctors at 13 or 14, I was shocked by how much better their bedside manners were.

Perhaps I was treated more harshly than your daughter is because I was a boy. Boys' pain is taken less seriously than girls' pain. It's sad but true.



KitLily
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03 Oct 2022, 1:06 pm

Yes, it drives me mad when people say 'be a brave boy' 'big boys don't cry' etc. A boy is a CHILD. He should be allowed to cry/show his feelings.

If boys and men were allowed to show their feelings, the world would be a lot more peaceful because they wouldn't think the only permissible feeling was anger and violence.


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Aspie1
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03 Oct 2022, 2:16 pm

KitLily wrote:
Yes, it drives me mad when people say 'be a brave boy' 'big boys don't cry' etc. A boy is a CHILD. He should be allowed to cry/show his feelings.

What's really ironic is that my therapist always demanded to know my feelings in situations I told her about. And she was LIVID whenever I'd say "I don't know" or give an answer she wasn't looking for.

I solved that problem by fabricating "easy" problems and memorizing "correct" answers.



Aspie1
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03 Oct 2022, 5:38 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Babies feel pain even in the womb.

It's only common sense. Why else do babies tremor and cry when they get their shots? It's certainly not to put on a show!

Ironically, as a child, I believed that adults couldn't feel pain due to their nerve endings atrophying from aging. (Similar to how adults have baldness or missing teeth.) That gave me the "right" explanation for why my parents and my pediatricians were so callous toward my pain. I figured: If they couldn't feel pain themselves, they were dumb enough to believe I couldn't feel pain, either.

Interestingly, today's medical technology, at least only for adults, has gotten so good, that my recent treatments were 90% pain-free. The only painful parts were the needles going in.



KitLily
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04 Oct 2022, 2:02 am

Aspie1 wrote:
KitLily wrote:
Yes, it drives me mad when people say 'be a brave boy' 'big boys don't cry' etc. A boy is a CHILD. He should be allowed to cry/show his feelings.

What's really ironic is that my therapist always demanded to know my feelings in situations I told her about. And she was LIVID whenever I'd say "I don't know" or give an answer she wasn't looking for.

I solved that problem by fabricating "easy" problems and memorizing "correct" answers.


That is a ridiculous situation for you to be in. If we don't educate children from birth about what emotions are and what to do about them, they'll never know.

It's different in my house. My daughter has grown up being asked how she feels about something and what the emotion is and what to do about it. I would do the same with a son.


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