does human touch makes you extremely tense?

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HiccupHaddock
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31 Jan 2023, 4:34 am

Dear all,
I'm wondering does anyone else find that human touch sometimes makes you extremely extremely tense (feeling very stressed, unable to talk or hear properly, etc. for a while)?
Especially when it is unexpected touch, e.g. bumping into someone, and maybe especially at night or when tired??
Would be interested to hear if other people find this, and what to do? It is very stressful, in an overwhelming way.



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31 Jan 2023, 4:38 am

Depends on the touch.
To me, human touch can carry more information than visual body language.

Yes, sudden light touch makes me instantly alert. A problem when living with a huggy family.


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Joe90
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31 Jan 2023, 6:09 am

I love human touch.


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autisticelders
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31 Jan 2023, 8:02 am

sudden touch is just about unbearable. I can't stand the thought of strangers touching me and struggle with touch from family and friends. Abuse and trauma in infancy and childhood, then through young adulthood into my 30s created a fear of touch. I am still hypervigilant about being touched by anybody. Lack of trust!! !! Overstimulation, sensory sensitivity, too many bad interactions with others all leave their mark.


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Dengashinobi
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31 Jan 2023, 9:19 am

I'm ambiguous about touch. I both instinctively avoid it but I also like it sometimes. Mostly I avoid touch.



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31 Jan 2023, 10:20 am

Yes, it does.

Especially from the neck up and as mentioned sudden or unexpected touch


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31 Jan 2023, 10:21 am

Absolutely, Yes



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31 Jan 2023, 10:26 am

The last time I remember human touch making me tense was when I had a professional massage to de-stress me, the massage made me more stressed :roll:


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31 Jan 2023, 10:36 am

I don't like light touch.
If you're gonna touch me it better be hard.

:roll:



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31 Jan 2023, 11:03 am

I can handle handshakes but literally any other type of human touching/physical contact genuinely makes me incredibly uncomfortable, no matter if its purposeful or accidental. Doesn't make me extremely tense or whatever, but I will like slightly jump/shake in uncomfortableness and surprise (if it's a bit of touching I didn't expect) when it happens and be uncomfortable for at least a few minutes until I can get over it and if I'm in a situation where there's prolonged human touch with someone else, I will literally be suffering and screaming internally trying to suppress what I want to do - which is get the hell out of there immediately and/or tell the person to stop touching me.



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31 Jan 2023, 11:52 am

I don't like touch from strangers, unless they're socially interacting with me and touch me arm as a kind gesture or something.

The only touch I hate it when toddlers touch my legs when standing in a queue in a supermarket or somewhere else public (unless I know the toddler). I know it's cute and innocent but it's also irritating when you're not expecting it.


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JimJohn
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31 Jan 2023, 12:45 pm

Recidivist wrote:
The last time I remember human touch making me tense was when I had a professional massage to de-stress me, the massage made me more stressed :roll:


The effect of massage on even neurotypical people can be an interesting topic. I know some people get a 90 minute massage which sounds totally unnecessary to me.

I think a person who wants a 90 minute message must not find it sensual or perhaps it is because they are female that want a longer duration. There is a point where the sensuality gets annoying and I move past it. I don’t understand how it can be enjoyed if it is not sensual. Some of it has to be automatic anatomical reflex which could be an interesting topic.

I personal don’t want a male massaging me. Then, you have straight females who don’t want a female massaging them either. And apparently, some straight males get massages from men.

To me a massage is always sensual. Apparently, for some it is not. If someone finds it sensual it eventually makes someone tense I would imagine.

I realize that may be beside the point, but there is a lot of absurdities surrounding messages even with neurotypical people. I guess with non neurotypical people there would be some variation of response similar to a neurotypical given that all humans have similarities in anatomy even if you are neurodivergent. I am sure it is different in cases of PTSD.

Perhaps, the fact that a massage for me is always sensual is neurodivergent.



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31 Jan 2023, 1:21 pm

It doesn't affect me. When I was young and in my teens, I took a course in wrestling. Perhaps that is why it no longer affects me (if it ever did).


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31 Jan 2023, 6:59 pm

Ah frick yeah. I hate it when someone is touchy around me, and I feel extremely uncomfortable if someone grabs or hugs me from behind. I want to immediately hit them, and sure that would be a great way for them to learn not to touch me, but I'm also scared I might end up hurting them or it's someone that I'm okay with hugging (my bf or mom). I'm also okay with hugs when it's from family or a romantic partner, and friend hugs always make me tense, even when they're meant to be platonic.


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31 Jan 2023, 7:22 pm

In my own case, it's inconsistent.

Certain people gives me certain patterns, and not just based on my relationship with them or the statuses between them.

But mostly it's just me, what I'm feeling and thinking at the moment.


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31 Jan 2023, 7:33 pm

JimJohn wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
The last time I remember human touch making me tense was when I had a professional massage to de-stress me, the massage made me more stressed :roll:


The effect of massage on even neurotypical people can be an interesting topic. I know some people get a 90 minute massage which sounds totally unnecessary to me.

I think a person who wants a 90 minute message must not find it sensual or perhaps it is because they are female that want a longer duration. There is a point where the sensuality gets annoying and I move past it. I don’t understand how it can be enjoyed if it is not sensual. Some of it has to be automatic anatomical reflex which could be an interesting topic.

I personal don’t want a male massaging me. Then, you have straight females who don’t want a female massaging them either. And apparently, some straight males get massages from men.

To me a massage is always sensual. Apparently, for some it is not. If someone finds it sensual it eventually makes someone tense I would imagine.

I realize that may be beside the point, but there is a lot of absurdities surrounding messages even with neurotypical people. I guess with non neurotypical people there would be some variation of response similar to a neurotypical given that all humans have similarities in anatomy even if you are neurodivergent. I am sure it is different in cases of PTSD.

Perhaps, the fact that a massage for me is always sensual is neurodivergent.


Interesting post.


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