Does anyone resent the fact that they are autistic?

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evank1
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08 Apr 2024, 5:10 pm

This may come across as offensive to some people here, and if it does I apologize.

I'm starting to reflect more and more on my experiences growing up and it feels like the entire time like fitting a square pig in a round hole. Autism is usually viewed as something that should not be shunned and that the traits showed not be looked down upon, so as to get rid of outdated ablest attitudes towards people like us, and I totally understand that perspective.

But I can't help but feel like this is a detriment. My existence has felt awkward and obtuse the entire time and I'm starting to really resent that.



DanielW
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08 Apr 2024, 5:15 pm

I used to resent the world being the way that it is, which amounts to close to the same thing. Not so much anymore, I don't have the energy to be angry all the time, its wasted effort - like yelling at clouds and shaking a fist at the sky.



Last edited by DanielW on 08 Apr 2024, 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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08 Apr 2024, 5:35 pm

If you've met one Autistic you've met one Autistic.

I'm at the Asperger's Syndrome spot on the Autism Spectrum, with a few other pluses and minuses.

And I was unhappy much of my life, I assume mostly because of Autism. But I persevered.

And I am so glad!

I retired financially comfortable at age 56...and I think my Autistic traits contributed to this.

Predictably, my social life was sparse. I did get lucky, though, and finally met the right gal when I was 43...and had given up looking for the right gal. We've been married for 24 years, so far. But I admit meeting her was a fluke. I met her in Mensa; my suggestion would be to find some large organization where you can be active and productive...and just be nice to the gals...maybe one will decide she wants you.


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bee33
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08 Apr 2024, 6:25 pm

I don't actively resent it, as I am not stewing about it, but yes, I look back and see that so many things were difficult for me, and I do resent it in a more abstract sort of way, I guess by looking at it more fatalistically. And I am only very mildly autistic. Still, it was enough to make things a lot harder than they seem to be for many other people. But there are also people who have had a much much harder life than I have had, for a variety of reasons. All in all, I'm a pretty lucky person, objectively, even if it doesn't always feel that way.



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08 Apr 2024, 7:07 pm

Instead of being Autistic, the obvious alternative is NeuroTypical.

From the NTs that have been around me, I think my flavor of Autism is better.

(And I don't deny that Autism comes in many flavors...many nasty. I got lucky.)


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Edna3362
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08 Apr 2024, 7:42 pm

I resent being born a human.


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IsabellaLinton
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08 Apr 2024, 7:59 pm

My existence has felt awkward and obtuse too, but I don't resent it. I feel a little sad sometimes like the joke was on me, and I didn't know it, but I still like being me. I just wish I'd had more insight at the time so I could have avoided situations which weren't right for me.


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08 Apr 2024, 8:57 pm

I don't resent that I'm autistic.
I resent that everyone I know is neurotypical.


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Charlemania
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08 Apr 2024, 9:10 pm

I don't resent being divergent. I'm also glad that diagnoses and explanations started being more available. Can you imagine if we lived in the 1800's or something?

I do wish I understood why typicals are so weird before I got to old age! :D

I guess I'll just have to live to 120 to make up for it!

I like being me, and I don't want to be the kind of person who wouldn't like me.

I understand what you are saying, though. It can be hard to let go of unfair treatment. I hope you have some things that excite you about today, and some people who appreciate your uncommon awesome!

Time-machine? Yes, please. Being neurotypical? No way. :heart:


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BillyTree
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09 Apr 2024, 2:42 am

No. I know that I am the odd one and the majority is normal, but I like myself and feel that's how everyone should be. I have what you could call "pure autism".


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ASPartOfMe
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09 Apr 2024, 3:09 am

Charlemania wrote:
I don't resent being divergent. I'm also glad that diagnoses and explanations started being more available. Can you imagine if we lived in the 1800's or something?

I guess I'll just have to live to 120 to make up for it!

I look at it this way. Every Autistic in generations before us and even many of our generation will go to their grave never knowing they were autistic. That is why as very late as it was I am grateful I had the opportunity to find out.

I am not offended by the OP at all. All autistic experiences are valid.

As far as making stuff up that has been a problem for me. If I miss out on something good or great especially if it's my fault I feel a desperate need to try and recreate it. I have found out that it rarely truly works. Sometimes in life if you miss something that opportunity is gone forever. And while makeup stuff is usually never the same I still ruin what could have been good because I am trying too hard. I am much better with this issue than I used to be but it is still there.


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09 Apr 2024, 10:31 am

I resented the fact that I was autistic at the age of 15 because I saw my sister enjoying opportunities that I didn't get to experience like babysitting. My sister was 12 at the time.


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09 Apr 2024, 6:45 pm

No, I have to fight the feeling that I'm gifted, especially in the intellect department.

I was late being diagnosed, so I still don't define myself as an Aspie particularly.

I sometimes curse my ASD when I notice it's holding me back on a specific endeavour, but we all have strengths and weaknesses and I don't see myself as being disabled overall. Far from it. I've always been rather glad to be me, most of the time.



glider18
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12 Apr 2024, 9:59 am

Do I resent being autistic? No. But I surely can't say that would be my answer if I had lived circumstances that others have experienced on the spectrum. I know others have been bullied ... I didn't experience that. I know others failed to find support ... I didn't have that challenge.

Special intense interests became my fascinating playmates through early life. I enjoyed them immensely ... and still do, though I don't "get into" some of them the way I used to.

I think the one thing that has been a challenge for me that I perhaps wish had been different for me is/was my social awkwardness -- rarely feeling like I fit in with some social scene somewhere. I can recall as a junior high school student attending a classmate's birthday feeling the awkward smothering of trying to enter the "party scene" as I walked through the friend's front door. It didn't feel natural for me to be there.


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goldfish21
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12 Apr 2024, 10:18 am

No one. Everyone loves it.

jk

I don't mind the positive traits, but I really don't like the negative ones that interfere with work/career/jobs & relationships of all sorts. I think it's pretty common that people don't love those things.


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renaeden
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12 Apr 2024, 10:07 pm

I've gotten nothing positive from being autistic. I could have been a successful psychologist if I could look people in the eye and not be afraid of people I don't know. I could have a paying job where I volunteer if I could deal with customers, work on the till and answer the phone.

If I think about things like this too much I start to feel miserable and sorry for myself.