autism and appearing "childish"
Wow how strange for a person to feel free criticizing some of you like that. To your faces even.
I liked the response of "because they're comforting and I like them."
I get schooled by my own 10 year old son all the time in how to deal with others. He has ADHD and is being raised by me (an odd person NT) and his dad (an elite aspie type), so maybe he's not the most normal person himself. Sometimes the kids at school will say something unkind to him. He refuses to swear and his ADHD is too bad to think of something clever in the moment. He simply says something like, "Why would you say something like that?" Which puts a person in their place better than anything else.
Oh and one more thing- think deeply about this "ablism" idea. People on the autism spectrum may be at a disadvantage in certain situations, but they are at an advantage in others. So it just depends on how you see yourself and others.
You might like The Little Prince. The book describes my idea of "grown-up" pretty well.
To me, "grown-up" and "adult" are mutually associated, but neither such term implies anything about the other such term.
Also to me, being a grown-up, i.e., not being a kid, implies having little curiosity, sincerity, or playfulness. As an academic -- more specifically, an artist -- more specifically, a mathematician --, I believe that these qualities are virtuous.
I just wanted to offer my proverbial two cents.
"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!"
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,907
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
years ago somebody explained to me the difference between "child like" and "childish"
Child like is the eternal burning curiosity and enthusiasm we may have for doing the things we are interested in and the things we love. It is the openness and emotional honesty that people may mask in every day life.
Being childish is the trait of immature behavior and lack of insights that most others gain as we get older. It is the single minded selfishness, the petty jealousies, the lack of thought that is needed to interact with peers and others in every day life, refusing to accept responsibility for one's actions or behavior, being vindictive, jealous, deliberately disruptive or disrespectful or in other ways acting as a young child would.
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https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
We may appear to be childish when in reality, our creative sides and passions never left us. Tim Burton is on the spectrum and he didn't let go of those "Child-like" passions. Without them, there would be have been no Beetlejuice or Jack who I feel are characters who act like they are on the spectrum.
I smile and giggle a lot when I’m nervous, sometimes when it’s inappropriate to do so.
I also seem to just look naturally young for my age.
So, so many good thoughts in this thread. Imagine I thumbs upped every one because I think every post was an excellent point.
I wanted to respond directly to LittleBeach though. This happened to me today, actually. I wonder what the people are really thinking or feeling when you laugh inappropriately. I also do that, but I am neurotypical and I think better than most people at gauging the facial expressions and mannerisms of others, especially in the moment. Sometimes when I laugh at the "wrong" time, the other person reacts with fear or anger. And sometimes when a person is threatened, they will try to put you down.
Also, when you naturally look young for your age, especially as a woman, this can inspire all kinds of problematic thoughts in the other person's mind. That they may be jealous of you. That you may not know as much because of your perceived age. That you may not know as much because of your perceived beauty. Lots of things can be going on. Unfortunately you can't just ask most of the time because the other person won't tell you.
If a guy complains that I'm appearing childish or not being a woman enough -- I'd straight up call them a creep for complaining and caring too much.
I mean, how else would they care?
Yeah, I'm socially competent enough to stop such people through that kind of insinuation.
And if they're a lady, they're projecting.
Really, why? I ain't a "threat", or am I?
It's also making them liable enough for me to use them because of their assumptions.
And no one's going to be jealous at me.
Because my child-like appearances is not limited to just appearances.
No one can just call me out since I don't even mask, let alone pretend it's cute. I'm not afraid of going creepy on anyone just for that.
.. People are more jealous of my body instead.
If they're teasing me about my mom and how she 'coddle' me, I'll call their relationship with their moms and their ignorance.
But really, the scenarios of mistaken age for me is funny.
Whenever someone finds out my real age, they're gonna ask -- You married? Got a kid? Etc.
Makes any highschooler trying to hit on me, thinking I'm their age, run away silly.
Or creeps and trolls revealing themselves.
But I'm not as socially naive as my appearance suggests.
Makes a good underestimate. Will be their mistake targeting me.
In cultural aspects...
Hmmm... Looking younger than one looked isn't an uncommon thing around me.
My boss is in her 40s. She looks like just turning 30. She has more woes over looking younger because no one thought she got like 20+ years of professional job experience.
Known some family friends and relatives' coworkers.
Sort of runs in my family;
My own mother doesn't look like someone turning 60.
My 45 year old maternal aunt can compete with 20s something year olds in pageants.
My paternal grandma doesn't look like she's in her 70s...
In general, some well off but are short statured people tend to look a bit younger.
Being short from where I came from is relatively common; and I'm taller by average.
Then there's the extroverted and happily emotional norms, and taking strides over child like antics for an entertaining gag...
And the inability to do so would make someone a killjoy.
I have the power to socially judge an uptight fool into devaluing themselves. I just need the right time and place and actual reasoning.
In any case, I don't have any child like passions at the moment. And finally no longer ever have child like fits except towards my own mother...
Closest thing I'd get is either out of nostalgia, or my tasting pallette.
I'm also someone who had overcome gaming addiction and maladaptive daydreaming without professional intervention...
I'm way confident that I'm emotionally ahead of my peers just for that.
Just not in a socially conventional way like taking interest in sex and romance -- if anything, that's easy for me to discuss rationally.
Or a lot of things that power, competency, fluency in monetary based systems, social standings that masks insecurity, trauma and all that human crap.
I can very much reduce my perception of anyone into of that of a child.
Instead of being pissed at them, I'll just be sorry for them and wonder what happened to them...
Which ain't some meditation exercise for me to practice empathy -- it's actually something just perceivable for me to look anyone as such lens that deep down everyone is a child.
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SuperRileyFanboy
Butterfly
Joined: 28 Sep 2024
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
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Well, there’s three parts to it. The first is that I’m 4’10 and my face looks young. At 31 I’m often mistaken for a 14 year old no matter how I dress or act. The second part is that I have absolutely no interest in a relationship, so I don’t wear makeup or dress to attract a partner. As a matter of fact, it makes me uncomfortable to think about someone possibly being attracted to me.
The final part is that I do have interests that one would consider childish. The main one being Pokemon. I wear Pokémon clothes because they fit me and I love them (especially my Pikachu hoodie). I also don’t mask-at all. I’m always stimming and running around. I get judgment all the time, especially when people find out I’m actually 31. But I ignore them and carry on. I don’t understand the concept of trying to be something that doesn’t come naturally to you. We are who we are, why change it?
Or maybe I’m less conscious of these things because I’m level 2?
Was called childish because I can't stand the taste of cough drops. Told to suck it up and that no one likes cough drops.
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ASD level 1, ADHD-C, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)
Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD
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