I feel like an emotional sponge

Post Reply New Topic

Hello all,

As I stated in the title above, I feel like an emotional sponge.

What I mean by this is I take on other people's emotions if I come into contact with them. All it takes is being in the same room with someone for a matter of moments, and boom I've caught it. I don't even have to talk to a person for this to happen, all it takes is somewhat close physical proximity like being in the same room or even a whole house and I can feel it.

I find this so draining, the more intense the emotion the worse I feel. Unfortunately, I feel other people's negative emotions more than positive ones.

Do any of you have this issue? And if so, what are some tools or coping mechanisms that you employ to deal with these feelings?

Thanks,

CFL

Yes. I have been like that my whole life, at least as long as I can remember anyways.

I have many hypothesis and theories as to why this may be and what possibly could be contributing, but all are rudimentary at best.

When I was in college I had a child psychology professor who taught us about how children and their mother develop a primal, emotional form of language and bond between each other. I remember that she would comment on how sad it was that this connection seemed to disappear as the child slowly transitioned in a more verbal form of communication. Modern research has suggested that part of the development process of autism involves the lack of neural pruning that normally occurs in young children, resulting in many more neural pathways that can cause sensory overload. It could and would be quite easy and possible for that or those particular primal neural pathways could have not been trimmed, thus maintaining to some degree the ability to at least perceive the emotional energy of those around you.

I used to sort of think I was just imagining it, but then I ran into a cousin from out of town who was able to see auras around people. She said she could see their aura, but wasn't able to understand what she was seeing unless she truly understood the emotions that were behind and the cause of the aura she say. At first I admit to being a doubter, until she would describe what she was seeing and I would realize that I felt the same things from them she was describing, just in a different way. Once that happened it was actually quite fun and nice having someone to talk to and share with, even if it only was for a few months.

How do I cope in the past and present? In the past I tried all sorts of things, mostly unhelpful and probably dangerous. Lots of drugs of various types and effects, but marijuana for much of my life as it helped somehow and to varying degrees. Today I eat an edible occasionally but nothing like the past, and simply face and try to understand the emotions I am feeling that I care about and getting away from the toxicity of those I want nothing to do with. That and I don't go out in public without my over ear headphones playing good music and helping distract my mind and block the emotional noise. Nothing really helps when the world around me gets really bad, then the world sometimes scars my soul with its darkness and blind hatred for everything and there really is nothing I can do about it.

YESSSSS!! One of my first steps in trying to find out why I feel poorly is asking the person with me if they're okay. If they're not, then that's the issue. If they are okay, then it's time to figure out if they are not telling the truth (advertently or not). If they're validly not feeling crappy, then it's self-focus time.

Also, I've seen the auras!! They are real. 100%. I have seen them with my eyes and described them in real time to people. The person glows. They truly shine like a natural phenomenon. Their skin becomes almost like a thin smooth fuzzy thing that's like a mix of fleece and aero-gel. It's not just a feeling described in poetry. It's visually real. It's so bright that my eyes squint. It's overwhelming and awesome when it happens. It's super mesmerizing. It makes me feel fantastic when it does happen.

When people are crappy though, I start feeling crappy. I think it's one of the reasons I don't like eye contact. It's tooooo much of their feelings overwhelming mine. Too much intimacy. When someone is crappy and there's nothing I can do about it, I have to look away or I get all messed up.

check into hypervigilance as a sign of trauma. I am never able to let down my emotions radar for others if they are in my presence. Always scanning and preparing to act or react to anybody elses' demands, behaviors, etc etc. I think I learned to do this (and I don't shut down, ever, in the presence of others, that radar stays ON) due to abuse when I was a child. I was abused in many of my early relationships. That hypervigilance tunes in on the mood of anybody around me in any situation and does not let go. I must be ready to act/react/respond immediately. This from years and years of conditioning, although it has also been about 40 years since the last incident of abuse took place. I still don't feel safe so that conditioned response remains in place. Trauma can "re-wire" parts of your neurology.

Thanks for your input. That sounds pretty accurate.

That sounds pretty relatable. Thank you for sharing.

I can relate.
I sometimes feel I absorb their ways of thinking and speaking also. I am very good at imitation.

I seem to suck in the emotions of everyone around me. It gets to be a nuisance sometimes.

I have heard of this happening with people who are "wired different" in one way or another. I do not think it is a general autistic thing, but I think autistic people are one of the populations who are more likely to experience it than neurotypical people.

What you are experiencing is empathy, which I do not believe most of us experience. I think what most people call empathy is actually sympathy. If I see a homeless person who is on Tranq, filthy and with sores, I feel sorry for that person and also disgusted. I have an overwhelming feeling of wanting to help that person. But that same person I am viewing may actually be experiencing feelings of elation, freedom, and peace. They may not want help. What I feel is not what they are feeling. I am feeling sympathy, not empathy.

Recently it was revealed in the science news that humans have bioluminescence:

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t- ... ible-light

I don't know if this has anything to do with auras.

If you are overwhelmed by the feelings of others, I recommend getting away from them for planned durations of time every day. In a nature setting or with animals or objects of interest. Focus on mindfulness during that time away from other people. It should help recharge your batteries.

That may help explain why I often seem to react to people differently from others around.




Interesting! Added the topic to my running list of things to learn when I get the urge. I swear I've seen people glow. I saw someone glow the other day when they were talking about how they feel great, like cleaning and preparing for the day in the morning.



I've noticed that having regular alone time helps me a lot. It's not that I'm doing anything in particular that requires solitude or that I don't like others. It's just nice to have thought trains without interruptions, purer emotions, and not be worried about how someone else is doing (even if they're fine).

Thanks for sharing!

Amazing, it took me way too long to figure out that many times I was being so heavily affected by the people around me. I didn't really begin to gain a little understanding until when my cousin was around and because of our talks. She was the one who kicked off a lifelong fascination into the whole subject for me. It has been quite helpful for me when I can know that what I'm feeling aren't my own emotions, both for peace of mind and understanding. It does suck at times, especially when the people around me are full of frantic emotions such and fear and anger. Covid was very strange, during the last election the emotions were so heavy and angry that I hid in my room trying to escape.

I read what little I could find back then about auras and eventually come to think I have a rudimentary theory about what they are and why some people can see them. There are ancient writing from esoteric beliefs that speak of the idea that our thoughts are not inside our brain exclusively and that they radiate 'cognitive energy' in a field around our head and body. They also speak of their also being an emotional field of energy that radiates from our bodies as well. Their theory was that all these individual fields weave with those around, forming into a tapestry or sea of shared energy. My hypothesis is that those who are able to see these fields as colors are experiencing this due to a form of synesthesia.

Last edited by ShwaggyD on 02 May 2025, 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is a phenomenon I've noticed for most of my life. I've described it to a few people before as "being a weather vein for tension" which is what I most often feel from others. One of my neurological ticks, or just micro seizures, tends to flare up when I can sense that people are frustrated primarily family. Despite being highly illiterate and inept at emotional intelligence the heightened ability to feel them is something of a cruel irony. A theory I've wondered about at times is if some of us are able to feel some emotions so strongly that it essentially fried any nominal ability to read emotions. Merely blindly feel them and have to go off of memory or other senses to fill in the pieces.

I am sorry you or anyone else ever have had to experience such abuse and trauma to manifest into a need for hypervigilance. I have known many people, mostly women I'm sad to say, who now are trapped into living a hypervigilant life full of fear and distrust of everyone and everything. Those emotions nobody should have to endure.

I know what it is like in my own way though, I have endured some major emotional trauma in the past that put me in a mentally dark place for quite a while. The only thing that helped me through was finding any little thing I could that brought me even a glimmer of peace inside. I found going on hikes alone in the woods helped, sitting alone on the beach listening to the surf was another. I found going to a park near my work was magical for me because of the sound of children having fun playing and filling the air with their joyful laughter.

I’ve experienced this too. someone will just walk in the room and the whole mood shifts for no apparent reason. Sometimes I think I’m crazy, like it’s all in my head. Or if I’m picking up on something I don’t understand.

Is it like empathy or something do you think

I'm wondering if there a way to desensitise yourself to it

I get this too and I've found over the course of time that if I walk into a room or into a group of people; I walk in smiling as if I already know what's going on

It might seem funny but it works and it's also like a bit of a shield as well

I mean I wouldn't walk into a room smiling if it was a sad gathering

It has to be appropriate

This is in line with how I experience things. I'm no physicist, but I think it also matches up with quantum field theory.