People assuming things about you?

Post Reply New Topic

Do you people ever assume:

1. That you are certain way because you have autism or a co-morbid (sp?) disorder?

2. That you have a trait that you actually don't have, but most people have?

People have assumed both for me, for example, people assume that I am good at math within 2 seconds of meeting me, especially if the only thing about me they know is that I have autism (happens at school, where everyone who works with me knows, pretty much). Someone got annoyed with me when I said that I actually wasn't good at math once

For the second one, when I was younger (about 5 or 6), people would assume that I had a low tolerance to pain, I remember a doctor at a clinic assumed that my throat hurt and was like "why didn't you come in earlier?", when I had severe strep throat, he looked at my parents like they were crazy when they said I never complained. At least, that's how I remember it. People just couldn't seem to grasp that the reason why I often didn't complain about pain or understand other people when they were in physical pain, was because I didn't feel pain the same way other people did. Even when I parents explained it, they didn't get it.

Anyone else?

I find that a lot of people who live around me don't really know what autism is. Some people I tell assume that it means I'm some kind of genius or savant while others think it means I'm ret*d. Neither is true I have average intelligence but I usually stop telling people about it because I'm getting tired of all the misconceptions about autism.

I don't tell anyone about my aspergers, most people seem to think we are rain man when we are not.....

Those who know what autism is, and have experienced it up close from a non-therapeutic perspective, treat me normally, and I treat them normally.
Those who don't know what autism is treat me normally, and I treat them normally.
Those who know what autism is, but have assumptions due to only reading about the general spectrum and stereotypes, treat me like a child, and I treat them like test subjects that I try to confuse.

I can get away as 'just eccentric', and there are plenty of people I know who don't know about my diagnosis.
Problems only tend to arise when I tell someone I have Asperger's Syndrome before having talked to them properly.
Those are the kind of people who will start treating me like a child, after which I just try to confuse or scare them for laughs.

People annoy me when they assume something about me, just because I am on the spectrum. Like when I complain that people are looking at me, people who know I have AS just assume that I flap my hands or walk with an unusual posture. But just because I'm an Aspie, doesn't mean I stim or do other things to get attention. So each time I want to confide with someone about the people looking at me thing, I've always got to start going into detail ''I walk up straight, I dress presentably, I know how to wear my clothes, I don't flap or talk to myself, blah blah blah blah......''' and it all gets so boring.

And also when I was leaving school, one of the teachers wrote a note saying ''don't forget to pop in and see us again some time'', and then she started going on about the word ''pop'' and she said, ''shall I write 'come' in brackets above 'pop' so that you know for sure what it means?'' and I was like, ''look, I'm not 5 years old any more - I know what you are talking about, Jesus Christ!''

People assume I'm ret*d.

It does frustrate me when people who know that I am good with computers and math assume that I must be into Star wars or Star Trek and that I must be aware of all of the plots of space master 5 underground (made it up)...

I don't know these things... its not how to relate to me... and just makes me feel uncomfortable as if I am being told an inside joke that I am on the outside of... I have no desire or interest in SciFi and darnet I am not that kind of geek! lol

Its too bad that people dont know:

If you know a nerd... then you know exactly 1 nerd x.x (or however that other saying goes)

on a side note: It does help that people assuming that I am geeky/nerdy that it means I'll be socially awkward and that it is completely acceptable to them without them having to assume that its related to a disorder or anything

Oh, yes. It's a huge problem with some people who stick to their opinion of what AS must be like.

My problems with talking and understanding speech/language are often taken to be insecurity. Why?

Because supposedly people with AS can talk perfectly, they do not have (anything but minor) language impairments but they tend to be shy.

I also get told often that I must be slow and often lost in thought. Why?

Because supposedly, people with AS spend a lot of time analysing and thinking things through when they should be taking action already. I do like analysing things - it's just that I do so in mere seconds while doing something else at the same time.

If others need minutes or hours to do the same, I feel it's quite rude to insistent that I'm as slow as them when I'm all but that.

My ADHD, the hyperactivity and impulsivity usually gets ignored even if I just can't keep still. Yes, if it is known that I have hyperactive ADHD, my squirming in my seat and jumping around with excitement must be nervousness and insecurity. Because that makes so much sense apparently. (this last bit was irony)

Also, if I have a typically autistic problem such as getting lost, have trouble travelling somewhere, can't talk, do not understand simple instructions or if I am unable to access a skill due to overload or whatever else, I'm assumed to be anxious, stubborn or "need to grow up". Why?

Because for some reason, I'm assumed to be able to do all these things by strangers who hardly know me and have only learnt from someone else that I have a diagnosis of AS.

These stereotypes are the reason for why I go to lengths to avoid saying that I have been diagnosed with Asperger's.

When necessary, saying that I'm autistic has always worked to my advantage instead. People are less expecting about what I can and can't do if they only know that I have "autism".

I have been wondering for some time whether to tell people about my Asperger's. I am leaning toward not telling, as I don't see how it would improve things for me, and I can see that it might make things more difficult. In my family only my sister knows, but she figured it out on her own and asked me if I thought I might have it and shared some articles with me. I told her that I had already heard and learned about Asperger's, realized that was me, and had taken an online test which confirmed it. I did tell my father once several years ago, but it got him upset, so I didn't bring it up again. By now he has forgotten it--he is in his mid 80s and is getting a little forgetful now.

I think I would just rather people think I am a little weird and eccentric. From a mental perspective I think most people with Asperger's are still within the bounds of normal mentality, if somewhat near the fringe at times. Our social issues, more obvious stims, and hypersensitivities do tend to set us apart. However, we are still able to comprehend general knowledge and engage in general life functions, at least to some extent.

I set them straight and move on. No use beating around the bush.

No one outside of the WP Community & my Inner Circle of friends even knows that I amsuspected of being on the Spectrum..
And yet, people make assumptions all the time about me. Its so annoying!

Sincerely,
Matthew

People usually assume that I'm some kind of weirdo or idiot, or a very abrasive and arrogant person. Nobody has ever guessed that I'm autistic.

If I sense people are treating me differently, or I'm told that people are talking about me behind my back, I will tell them to give me a break, because I'm autistic. Normally, it makes people feel kind of guilty, and they seem sort of embarrassed, and often apologetic. Sometimes they will then completely ignore me, but I prefer that to actually being talked about or picked on.

My friends that are know but don't really understand tend to be quite worried if I seem in a distant sort of state, and don't like to leave me alone, because they know I have a history of depression and self-harm, so they often take me to each of my classes, and sometimes treat my like I'm a lot younger than I am. Sometimes though, I know that's what I need: the sort of firm instructions that you'd give a youg child.

Most people are OK with it though, they tend to nod and just go 'OK,' when they find out, and it generally doesn't bother them. I try to teach people as much about autism and Asperger's as I can, and I think being open helps stop misconceptions a lot of the time.

My problem is I am in school still, so people are kind of forced to know as it is in my IEP, but when I get out of school, I probably won't tell people very much.

There are many things that people presume.

I'm ret*d
I'm like Rain Man
I'm a genus
I still live with my mummy
That I'm very shy
That I flap my hands
It must be so hard to be autistic