Semper crescis aut decrescis...

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Now that I have your attention, I'm going for a third time lucky with threads.

I want to know if other people here feel like their autism grows and lessens at different times. Looking back, I feel like I have always had some autistic traits, but certainly in the past year or so I've been living a fairly 'normal' life. I've got a job, a flat, a friend (one!), and manage to do some fairly typical life things. I even managed to go on holiday by myself in September of this year.

Sometimes though, I feel really anxious and incapable of functioning, and have spent a great deal of time basically 'dead'. And I came here this week because on Monday I had a complete freak out with a number of things, and started sticking my hand out and hitting myself while mumbling, things which had never happened before.

So I want to know, do you have periods of 'better' and 'worse'?

Emma.

I get that. I can have a few months where I'm going fine, acting for the outside world as if I am NT. Then I will burn out and go hyper-Aspie. Anxiety, weird behaviour, avoiding socialising - and all of it in overdrive.

I'm in a' burn out' now, and I think this ones been enough for me to fail University.

Yes, but not to that extent. When I'm confident, I feel I can do more things and that I have the ability to do them. When I'm not confident or I'm upset I cannot do these things. I shut down, cannot function properly and have to go home. For me it can take anything from a few hours to the best part of a week to recover but once I have I'm back on top form again. I can then do that many more things.

My favourite Latin motto? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.

Luke sum ipse patrem te

Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es.

Yeah, I like "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" also!

YEAH, it does kind of wax and wane. I have said here several times about how that has happened with me.

Steve

Mea chorda non deregulate!

YEAH, I wondered about that TOO!

Something tells me it is like :

My cord is not broken

Could that mean simply that you are glad you aren't alone here?

Steve

I thought it was related to NHS bureaucracy!

My very bad Latin has obviously beaten you! Probably would have helped if i had put 'meam chordam' instead, but never mind.

Anyway, it is dog Latin for:

'Do not derail my thread!'

OH, OK! I should have guessed! 8-(

Steve

Yep, I get good and bad days with it. Most days I can cope fairly well, but then I get days where I cannot cope with other people and leaving the house is a real nightmare. Or other times I just feel totally dead inside. But most of the time I can cope quite happily.