Artists attracted to scientists/geeks?

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I'm asking this because I'm a scientist/geek type who is attracted almost exclusively to "artsy" girls. By that I don't mean girls who are interested in the popularity-game of the art world, I mean someone who has a vivid imagination, who needs a creative outlet, and who has some sort of talent in expressing her emotions visually. I have many of these qualities myself, in that I need a creative outlet and have a vivid imagination, but my talent is more in understanding how things work.

I'm curious, of those on here who would consider themselves in my "target demographic", how many of you are romantically strongly drawn to scientifically-minded "geeky" types? For example, who like drawing/painting plants or animals, and love when a guy can explain to you WHY the plants/animals have the shapes they do--or at least can speculate at the mechanisms at work. Or who like a guy (or girl, if you're into girls) to explain how the parts of a cell work, so that you can draw your own artistic interpretation of them? Assume that the person in question values intuition and the power of "fuzzier" thinking in understanding the world, i.e. that the "geek" is not someone with a disdain for anything that cannot be rigorously proven, but enjoys more speculative ideas.

The reason I ask is that I've found that artsy types aren't drawn to me even when I'm drawn to them. I've wondered why this is--it's possible that I just haven't met enough, since unfortunately the science and art worlds seem really separate. But one possible explanation I've thought of is that there may be a "popularity gradient" that goes "normal extroverted person" > "eccentric creative artsy person" > "eccentric scientist" --I don't know where "conventional scientist" would fit in, but somewhere between "normal extroverted person" and "eccentric scientist". So possibly these creative dreamer girls are "up" the "popularity gradient" from me, whereas I'm below it from them.

In any case, I'd like to know how common the type I'm looking for is--i.e. the creative drawing/painting/etc. person who finds people who know more about science very inspiring in a romantically-attractive manner.

I'm pretty much a liberal-arts sort of guy.

I have been attracted to scientifically-minded girls.

I'm both geeky and creative.

I grew up almost always with a pencil or crayon in my hand, from the time I was a baby. Art was my first love. It's a special interest that never dies. I realized I could never do it for a living, because I can't be competitive with my art, meet deadlines, or do art only for other people. I do my art because I feel inspired, and because it makes me feel happy and alive.

But I'm a geek. I love science. I prefer the biological sciences and various fields of anthropology. Haha, I wouldn't need any guy to explain why, I probably already know.

I'm more attracted to geeky guys than to artistic guys. Most artistic guys I'd met in the past were artistic to be cool or eccentric (they were pretending to be artsy or weird). They weren't as talented as I was, either. It makes everything awkward, I think.

Most artists I had met were of that category. With some, you could tell just by looking at them. They tried so hard to be different, and all ended up looking the same. Many of them had a sort of superior attitude as well. Whereas I look so normal in comparison, yet inside I'm completely different. I actually weird; I don't need to try.

So yes, some artistic girls are attracted to geeky guys. I wish there weren't so many people out there that felt they had to be fake in order to be artistic.

I'm attracted to science guys, art guys, music guys, sports guys, but not business guys.

I'm an artsy/slightly geeky girl who isn't into most geeky guys. I'll be blunt about why I'm not into them most of the time.
1. I prefer it when people take care of their appearance. A lot of geeky guys don't seem to do that enough. I kind of value my own appearance and I want to find people who value it as well.

2. I seem to attract the same type of geeky guys over and over again.

3. They often have no actual interests in common with me. They tend to like anime a lot of the time.

4. I'm grey asexual. For me that means that I don't feel attraction in the same way most people do. I'm rarely attracted to people and I often need to get to know them for a while. A lot of the geeky guys try to flirt or act romantic around me. I'm probably also gay, so that's another reason I'm not into geeky guys.

I like both artsy stuff and science/geeky stuff. Well, actually, I am only artsy in the sense that I spend a lot of time writing fiction as a hobby and I occasionally make jewelry. I have been attracted to both geeky and artsy guys, but probably the geeky type more often.

One of the biggest attracting factors for me (along these lines and not counting the basic stuff) is someone who is really interested in something. It doesn't have to be anything that I'm interested in. I just can't see myself with someone who doesn't understand or tolerate obsessions/special interests/whatever you want to call them. I mean, obviously we would need to have some interests in common as well, but this is just as a general thing.

Last edited by Quill on 06 Feb 2016, 12:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

i'm artistic and scientific. i understand how or i learn how things work and i use my physical knowledge creatively. when someone tries to explain scientific/pragmatic approaches to me in which i already understand or i understand better than they do, i feel patronized and unheard (what fully opened my eyes to this issue is being a female welder+fabricator). but i do find myself attracted to my equal opposite, an artist and scientist who is more calculative than intuitive.

for instance, i recently took an industrial vacuum motor apart in order to understand how it worked and then i fixed it, whereas a more calculative and less intuitive person researched/planned before engaging in any tactility with the motor and then fixed it (they weren't smart enough to fix it in this specific case but its an equally good approach. both approaches used together could theoretically be really powerful).

so. i like perspectives that can fill in my gaps as much as i fill in theirs. i think it is possible that you just haven't met your intellectual equal-opposite yet.

I have talent in both, yet I tend to err on the side of metacognition, ie, understanding why things work.

My ideal bae is more artsy, specifically musical.

I'm an artsy girl, attracted to arty girls. I also appreciate someone who is interested in maths or science, its not uncommon to get an arty vibe off them sometimes. I used to have an interest in maths as a child but i kinda lost it in the education system. If i am making a drawing its significantly about balance, harmony, and relationships between things, like many things, quite obviously, connected to mathematics.

Lost my math skills in the education system as well Mainly because a teacher constantly mocked my interest in math and science. She once mocked my interests in front of the whole class during circle time. That made me stop doing math and become embarrassed about all of my interests. Right now I'm trying to get my math skills back.

I know, right? Someone once sent me this hilarious video, and I found it spot on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf6DpIKgtJ0
In fact, the girl Enid in this video is probably someone I'd have a crush on if she were real.

While I am like "seaweed" in being a geeky type with an intuitive "knack" for things, I'm almost never attracted romantically to the more systematic geeks, rather I see them as colleagues. I associate them with people who will think my theories are too farfetched and won't take them seriously until I have proved them correct--if in fact I ever were to get the opportunity to do so.

Maybe I should clarify what I mean by "artsy types". I don't mean creatively-thinking science/computer geeks--that's what I am. The people I tend to be attracted to can certainly be as "spacey", introverted, and original, but they lack enough disciplined focus and detail-mindedness to ever take a class in something like computer programming or advanced math. Some of them actually started out studying science in college before they realized it was a poor match for them. However, they are spontaneous enough to pick up a brush and start painting something without worrying whether it will come out "perfect". They don't have the gregariousness of performers or the deep fear of technology and "chemicals" of the "new-age woo" people, but they "lead with their heart" and their senses and analyze it later, rather than start by learning facts and then get creative with it later.

One of the girls I had a crush on went as far as having psychotic (NOT psychopathic!) tendencies, but most of them are just mentally disorganized but still deep-thinking people. They are a bit like the "manic pixie dream girl" character trope, except without the lack-of-real-self or the wild antics. While most MPDGs have topsy-turvy lives, quirky artsy girls just have topsy-turvy minds, while in real life they just sit in their rooms and draw or whatever. I enjoy trying to fit their ideas into some sort of coherent, consistent framework, and reassuring them that they aren't totally "crazy", while I see them as muses, who draw me out of my one-track thinking and into the sensory experience of living.

And off topic, for some odd reason I had a strong mental image of "btbnnyr" as being male, before I saw the "female" in her profile. It wasn't any one thing, but I guess it was a combination of going to Caltech, having one of her primary non-science interests be baseball, and just the general type of language she uses. While I know of women who do every one of those individually, together they gave me a strong "guy vibe". I'm very sorry for the sexism there.

Hmm, I'm definitely not spacey, am detail-oriented, logical, creative, spontaneous (with certain things), I can think outside the box. I'm not really sure I fit into any category of people. I'm unusual even among people here.

I don't know if you'll find too many ASD girls who are spacey, intuitive, spontaneous, etc. That just doesn't go along with ASD.

I know one person who is really spacey. Not very artistically talented, but creative. A difficult type of person to deal with, let me assure you. Such people are often walking disasters. Never plans anything ahead, messy, disorganized, always having a crisis, unable to think ahead very well. Just doing what she feels is right. And it often turns out badly. People like that aren't bad, but I could never live with someone like that. It's very nerve-wracking.

If you desire such a person, make sure that you are prepared for the total chaos.

This describes me pretty well. I want to study optometry, but I'm worried I won't be able to keep up with my course load. I'm also believe in some "woo." I think that will make me incompatible with most guys on WP.


This describes me pretty well. That's the main reason I doubt my autism diagnosis and believe I have ADHD.

I'm the first one and the last one. It's complicated. I spend most of my time in my own head because I have heavy difficulty socially and have some attention difficulties. As for the latter, I have my "illogical" routines that I must follow, then I have other aspects where I am more spontaneous.

I guess I'm in that sort of relationship. I am both artistic and geeky/loves science/good with computers. I express my artistic side pretty scientifically too--I do very realistic drawings and paintings of plants and landscapes: I had wanted to be a scientific illustrator in school. I'm very much a logical thinker, very linear, literal, show me the evidence for everything, makes decisions based on facts.

My wife is pretty much opposite: very intuitive, makes decisions with her emotions, a poet and writer, very artsy, thinks in a non-linear/conceptual/sythesizing/gestalt fashion, has a lot of creative inspiration, very emotional, a lot more social, more extroverted than I, and is also into "woo" quite a bit (Buddhism, Power of Intention, Mindfulness, meditation, psychics, believes in space aliens, etc.).

In some ways, we're a good match--she admires my braininess and encyclopedic memory, how I can explain how the world works, how I like to talk about "deep" issues. To quote "Sherlock" (my favorite show), "brainy is the new sexy." I like her honesty, her greater understanding of emotions and relationships, her ability to connect with people and explain people to me, and her passion for life.

Be warned, though, the differences in thinking and emotional processing can be a big source of conflict. I'm not always able to be as emotionally supportive and understanding of her needs as she wants, unless she tells me what she needs explicitly (her latest instruction was to hold her at least 3 times a day). She tends to live in a lot of disorganized chaos often of her own making, has a quick temper and suspicion of authority, and has a tendency to be an easy target for con artists (especially fake psychics and peddlers of alternative medicine).

I'm glad we are in this relationship, but it's taken a lot of work to learn to understand one another and be patient with the differences, and adapt to the other's needs when possible. Picturing how someone feels when that person feels very differently is a big challenge for me. She's not autistic (although she has other issues, and has certain similar symptoms).

My advice: never assume your partner understands you without you telling them, and vice versa. There can be a lot of attraction between opposites, but also friction, often from false assumptions and misunderstandings. Clear verbal communication and checking in on how your partner is doing will help.

I've thought that too--it seems that the girls I'm attracted to are NEAR, but not quite ON, the autism spectrum. I'm sure they are neurodiverse in some form or another, because they aren't compatible with your average person, just that Asperger's/autism may not be the best label for them. Or if they are on the spectrum, they are in some really atypical form of it.

I myself am not your "typical" aspie. I almost certainly have mild bipolar tendencies, in that I have a propensity toward either depression or hypomania (though not "full" mania). I'm still very much an aspie, though, in that I have a mind that cares about the details of how things work, I have major difficulties reading social cues, I am generally apathetic about socializing, etc. My aspie-ness modifies how my other traits show, however, in that as I tend in a hypomanic direction I don't become outgoing, I go on "learning sprees" where I feel as though I can assimilate any subject I want to with minimal effort. My sense for and need for logical consistency is the last thing to go as I "break down" mentally, long after I've lost touch with "the real world", whereas for these artsy people, they can let go of rational causality and go into a world of "magic" before losing empathy and emotional warmth.

So maybe I'd be better starting a thread like this on a board for people with this other "second cousin of Asperger's" kind of neurodiversity, whatever it is.



I agree that I wouldn't want to run a household with someone like what I'm describing, much less raise a family with one. But the kind of relationship I'm looking for is more like a teenage romance (since I never got to have one of those). I agree that she has to have her family squarely behind her giving support, like mine is behind me, in order for the relationship to work, because I can't be the one to take care of her if she screws her life up (even though I can take care of her mental-stimulation needs).

To someone who said above "maybe you haven't found your intellectual complement", or something to that effect, it isn't so simple, because it matters kind of what each person's "target" is, what he or she needs to feel "whole", which may be different for different people. With me and these artsy people, I feel we share a similar fear of growing up, yet we each bring a piece of childhood that the other has forgotten (or never got to experience). When I have thought myself around in circles into a rut, they provide desperately needed levity, and show me that innocent, starry-eyed friendship and love hasn't disappeared. Meanwhile I show them the mysteries that still exist in the universe, the ways in which humanity as a whole still has yet to discover so much about the world.

Last edited by biostructure on 06 Feb 2016, 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.