Question for the self-diagnosed.

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we always need to move forward, no point standing still too long, each thing you learn is another step on the path, each experience you have teaches you something new, and each thing you learn helps to mold who you are; no living person is an unfinished work.

AAAARRRRGGGHHH!! ! Now I'm spouting philosophy in my old age, lol!

No one else can determine how you move forward, it just happens whatever we do and we can only influence the direction ourselves.

Stay strong and enjoy learning

you are ruminating which is a very bad thing in terms of ensuring you don't get out of the cycle of depression, it is the constant circle of thinking over and over about how to solve the insoluble that keeps the depressive cycle spiraling downwards and you need some way to stop that. You could try some form of meditation or speak to a cognitive behaviour therapist or psych.

If you consider there is something wrong with you then you will naturally feel bad. AS is a condition, not a disease or even, in its purest form, a disability - although clearly coping with the world with AS can be disabling for many people. It is a neurological difference; in the same way that male and female brains are different in structure and processing strengths, so an AS brain is different from one that has developed more typically. Yes, it can cause problems, yes, it can be hard to deal with and understand having grown up in a society that doesn't know how to recognise it, never mind accommodate the different needs; but there are also strengths and huge positives to being on the spectrum. You are probably way more sensitive to subtleties of colour and texture, light and sound than most people, your world is probably more vivid and more beautiful than most people can know. You almost certainly have the ability to focus on one thing, provided it fascinates you, for way longer than most people can. You probably cut out the crap and get to the point more than most - very useful in all sorts of situations. You are probably honest to a fault and a trustworthy and loyal friend for any who care to find out who you really are. Read Aspergirls - you will see that Aspergirls are superheros, they can take on the world and win!

Well, i have no doubt left in my mind, i'm self diagnosed. I'm a bit atypical, a naive expert would probably wouldn't done the trick for me. An official diagnosis is totally useless for me anyway. I even have some further speculation on my genetics( mutation at a certain unknown calcium gate), no expert would have ever done that.

I have self-diagnosed after several years of research. However, I feel like a liar telling people I have Asperger's without an official diagnosis. So I just say "I think I have AS." No one believes me really, because I'm sociable and talkative, though they all think I'm weird (in a fun way).

When I was growing up I was clearly different from my brothers but my parents thought nothing of it. They just assumed I was "different" because I was not them. I had a lot more social trouble then I let on. Only just last year I told my mother about how my junior high school years went and she had no idea.

Executive functioning problems - having difficulty organising things, getting started, completing, meeting deadlines, remembering equipment, remembering to turn up, timekeeping (either too early or missing the boat or being so punctual it makes others uncomfortable), stopping a task or a sentence or a train of thought mid-flow, getting bills paid on time, remembering to keep your cupboard stocked with food ................

One of the reasons many AS people cannot handle their routines or plans being interrupted is that it causes them to have to exercise their executive functioning skills to rectify the problem - they have to replan, make adjustments to expectations, etc, and for some that is really hard. Unexpected change puts pressure on executive functioning skills and sometimes they just aren't up to the task.

There are 2 main responses to executive functioning problems: it can create a rigidity of thinking and an inflexibility which leads to a highly organised day to day life often using lists and timetables and calendars -these strategies are good, helpful strategies but can become obsessive or rigid to the point of creating difficulties for the person and those around them; or it can send people running and they become structure averse which creates unreliability and difficulty with connecting with any demand. Both these responses can create significant difficulty for other people as it is hard work dealing with both someone who is constantly unreliable and runs away if you try to insist on anything and with someone who is so rigid that they get angry and frustrated if for some reason others don't fit into the boxes and lists they've prepared.

Developing strategies and helping people achieve some sort of balance is part of my job given that if the people I work with don't meet their deadlines, get their work in on time, turn up for their exams, get to morning lectures, remember to eat regularly, etc, they aren't going to achieve their potential.

significant impairment - if your condition interferes with your ability to live a "normal" life without support then it is an impairment. That impairment is significant if you are having serious difficulty coping and need to look beyond your normal resources for help more than just in a crisis or down period.

Join the club, lol! I can spend days on a forum immovable and totally engrossed rather than face all the things I really should do
Or read six books one after the other when I know there are bills to be paid At one point in my life my partner would ask if I wanted "another cup of procrastination?"

I am structure averse in my personal life - will not plan anything unless I absolutely have to - but totally organised in my professional life (though I now have a boss who is careful not to make too many demands for paperwork, etc which is helpful). I think the structure averse nature came about due to living with my totally rigid father whose demands for perfection made me run away because I simply couldn't meet them. However, put me in somebody else's crisis and I respond amazingly well because I put on my professional mask and just deal with it - I'm always the one to patch up a wound or call an ambulance or check the tongue isn't in the way if someone's having a fit.

there are fixed points in my life, like my work hours (which I decide anyway but once arranged they have to be stuck to), or appointments or school things and clubs for the kids. Everything else just fits in around that, and meal times (which I probably wouldn't bother with if we didn't have kids). We live in the inner-city and our little area has everything we need day to day - 3 supermarkets, post office, hardware store, cheapo shops and loads of hairdressers and charity shops, if I didn't like going into town I would never have to but my house stands on a junction with buses going in all 4 directions, including straight to work.

Also my partner looks after some stuff and he's the one who gets up with the kids in the morning because I'm useless at going to bed and getting up.

Because;
I cannot maintain a conversation with most people, unless I have a firm opinion about something.

I worry & obsess over the smallest of issues & problems.

I find it hard to multitask. - for example; driving my car & being in conversation with a passenger.

I can become obsessive with something I am makeing , I always strive for perfection & spend too much time thinking how I'm going to make an item of furniture for myself.

I find it hard to maintain eye contact with someone I'm talking to.

I have a lack of understanding of instructions that other people request of me , untill it becomes routine - then I dislike haveing to change that routine as I become used to doing something in a certain way.

The above are just a few of many.