Kicked out of Home
I feel a bit like Travis at the moment.
Hmm, how is that in words? I'm so bad at deciphering movies. I could feel his character, but haven't the slightest clue how to say it.
Alienated?
"Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man."
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
I've been thinking about our OP's dilemna and what advice might help. I don't know if what I have is good but here goes.
If you've managed to save some money from what you've been getting each month you probably have some good money management skills and are pretty frugal. That's a real strength. You probably don't have a lot of issues with hoarding or being overly aquisative (the drive to own ). My two Aspies have issues along those lines, but many do not.
I'm thinking you probably don't have those issues so that's good and reassuring.
I think you'll do well with those two support people because they can help you assess what skills you need to work on. You probably can give yourself some time to work on basic living skills before worrying about a job. You could even get some kind of part time job to start out that wouldn't require a lot or even pay a lot, but give you some practice at dealing with a work environment and a little bit of pocket money.
I think there are a lot of ways you can break this up and do it in stages. Your support people should be able to help you find the right situation. Here in the US certain companies have a policy of hiring people with disabilities and helping them gain job skills. People with Downs Syndrome often spend a few hours a week wiping tables at McDonalds. Walgreens (which may have a different name in the UK) hires people in the Autism Spectrum to do various jobs based on their abilities. You might be able to stock shelves after hours when people arnen't around if you're good at organizing things. You might be able to work in the pharmacy assisting the pharmacist if you are meticulous about detail. It might not be thrilling work that uses your full potential, but it's a start until you figure out what you really want, and if you like it, maybe it's even a permanent solution.
If you've managed to save some money from what you've been getting each month you probably have some good money management skills and are pretty frugal. That's a real strength. You probably don't have a lot of issues with hoarding or being overly aquisative (the drive to own ). My two Aspies have issues along those lines, but many do not.
I'm thinking you probably don't have those issues so that's good and reassuring.
I think you'll do well with those two support people because they can help you assess what skills you need to work on. You probably can give yourself some time to work on basic living skills before worrying about a job. You could even get some kind of part time job to start out that wouldn't require a lot or even pay a lot, but give you some practice at dealing with a work environment and a little bit of pocket money.
I think there are a lot of ways you can break this up and do it in stages. Your support people should be able to help you find the right situation. Here in the US certain companies have a policy of hiring people with disabilities and helping them gain job skills. People with Downs Syndrome often spend a few hours a week wiping tables at McDonalds. Walgreens (which may have a different name in the UK) hires people in the Autism Spectrum to do various jobs based on their abilities. You might be able to stock shelves after hours when people arnen't around if you're good at organizing things. You might be able to work in the pharmacy assisting the pharmacist if you are meticulous about detail. It might not be thrilling work that uses your full potential, but it's a start until you figure out what you really want, and if you like it, maybe it's even a permanent solution.


_________________
followthereaper until its time to make a turn,
followthereaper until point of no return-children of bodom-follow the reaper
It was helpful. Thanks for taking the time to help me. Everyone who's posted in this thread has been very kind. I appreciate it a lot.
I've written up a list/plan. It consists of:
* Tips on what to look for/what to do when looking for a place.
* Things I need to buy (just the essentials)
* How much money I have in savings and credit
* Skills I need to live independently
Hopefully this will help me keep things in perspective and stop me getting too overwhelmed.
EnglishInvader
Veteran

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,012
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
You could try your nearest YMCA. Most Y hostels allow you to stay for up to two years (indefinitely in some cases) and the rent can be paid through Housing Benefit.
I stayed at the YMCA for two years and it's generally a more adult environment. The hostel I stayed in had studio flats where everyone lived independently with a support team downstairs to offer help/advice when needed. It's a good way to learn how to live on your own.
http://www.ymcawales.co.uk/
It was helpful. Thanks for taking the time to help me. Everyone who's posted in this thread has been very kind. I appreciate it a lot.
I've written up a list/plan. It consists of:
* Tips on what to look for/what to do when looking for a place.
* Things I need to buy (just the essentials)
* How much money I have in savings and credit
* Skills I need to live independently
Hopefully this will help me keep things in perspective and stop me getting too overwhelmed.
You're doing really well with keeping your situation in perspective. So many good responses too. Ironically, right now, I am in the process of moving/relocating and have houshold stuff I want to get rid of - if I lived in the UK I'd give it to you. I think you'll find a place soon enough with your organized approach.
I think finding work, even just a temporary menial job, is vital. I imagine that later, after this has settled down, you'll find satisying work that is better suited for you. I know this may be far off, but I hope that you consider University - you'll do very well.
_________________
The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown
It was helpful. Thanks for taking the time to help me. Everyone who's posted in this thread has been very kind. I appreciate it a lot.
I've written up a list/plan. It consists of:
* Tips on what to look for/what to do when looking for a place.
* Things I need to buy (just the essentials)
* How much money I have in savings and credit
* Skills I need to live independently
Hopefully this will help me keep things in perspective and stop me getting too overwhelmed.
Dont use credit. You'll end up paying 3-5 times the purchase price for what you buy and that really adds up and can destroy you. You really don't need a lot to get by. Public libraries are good for books if you enjoy reading. A television may be too expensive to start out. I believe you pay a lot for channels in the UK?
Here is a list of basic household goods:
Kitchen:
1 frying pan
1 sauce pan, two quart (can make small cans of soup, but can also boil pasta)
1 plate
1 bowl for soup etc
1 knife
1 fork
1 spoon, teaspoon
1 spoon, bigger for serving and mixing, but can be optional
1 Glass Optional
1 Beaker, not optional can fill in for glass
1 spatula (for flipping eggs, but you can do that with a fork if you're clever)
1 dishwashing pan and a couple of dish towels
1 bottle of dishwashing soap
1 Table
1 Chair (Table and Chair can also be located in Lounge)
See if the charity shop has a deal on a toaster or toaster oven.
Bedroom
You probably have clothes already
One mattress (can go on the floor but you might find a nice frame at a charity shop for greater comfort)
One set of sheets
Curtain/s for privacy (may already be in apartment, or maybe blinds instead)
Dresser optional, might find at charity shop The shelf in the closet can do just fine to start.
Hangers for clothes (all clothes can be hung in the absence of a dresser, remember you don't have to have everything to get by the first couple of weeks)
Bathroom
Soap
Shampoo
Shower Curtain if it isn't a stall with door
Flannel (wash cloth for those playing at home from the US)
Towel (also handy for space travel)
Toothbrush and toothpaste (will refrain from tasteless brit jokes)
Lounge (Living room for those playing from US)
(not necessary the first day, can wait and build on this as items appear at charity shop)
Chair, sofa can come later...I forget the brit word for sofa
Small table for putting feet on while reading just like Mom said not to do
Perhaps someday a TV if you like it and can afford it, but NOT out of savings only out of income and if you can afford the fees
TV with movie player might be good if you don't want to connect to channels and can get movies from the library or cheaply from shop
Internet connection, when you can afford it, and can be good instead of TV. Internet TV is better than pay TV anyway. Have you seen 666 the Neighbor of the Beast or The Guild?
Your priorities to start are Kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Basic hygeine is very important. You don't need high fashion but you need to be clean enough not to attract bugs and critters that will alarm the neighbors. One set of dishes is really great because you can't let them pile up dirty and that can get you into the good habit of always washing up right away.
Food Item Suggestions
Peanut Butter (has a lot of fat so you can avoid it if you need to watch that or have allergies etc)
Jelly (OK this is an American thing but Peanut Butter and Jelly is really good as a sandwich or on toast, trust me)
Bread (it goes bad fast in the UK because it's not loaded with toxic stuff to keep it "fresh" like it is here, so not too much just what you need for a day or two)
Butter, optional can put on toast or use to fry eggs, scorches easily so oil is better for frying, but butter is a start
Eggs
Milk
Tea (if you're so inclined)
Or Coffee
Sugar if you like it
Pasta
Pasta Sauce
Tinned Tuna
Mayonaise (duh, tuna mayonaise and you already have bread, easy peasy)
Frozen veggies (place should come with freezer and fridge check with support people if not, they can be expensive, but they may know a good deal for you. You can avoid the referigeratable items if you have to, it can be done)
Fresh veggies or tinned if neccesary, fresh go bad quickly. Frozen are more convenient as you figure out how much you need. Tinned aren't as nutritious but don't go bad and don't require refrigeration.
Fruit
Beans (well DUH, you've got the bread already and you ARE a brit)
This is something I've thought about a lot as my eldest is going to need this kind of support if he's going to live alone. I'm trying to work with him and get him these skills but it just doesn't sink in. He can program and build robots all day but can't remember to brush his teeth or change into clean clothes. He's 13, but I'm already trying to figure this stuff out.
CockneyRebel
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,420
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
The YMCA option sounds good. They used to be like that here but are now mostly flop houses for junkies or just gyms with no housing options. I stayed in one in New Dehli which was a very clean and safe reasonably priced hotel. Not fancy, but really comfortable.
I agree about going to University. As I was typing the thing about working in a pharmacy as an assitant I was thinking that going to school for pharmacology and becoming a pharmacist would be a great career for an Aspie who liked chemistry and was very detail oriented. Social skills and appearance aren't always that critical, but you have to be incredibly perfect about the medication, obviously. One of my Uncles is a pharmacist, and probably an Aspie. He sure is an odd guy, that's for sure. He's worked in VA hospitals behind the scenes filling the prescriptions for years. He's gotten into difficulties with interoffice politics, but that only meant he got demoted from Chief Pharmacist to Pharmacist, he still had a job and made plenty of money. I think he liked it better because he didn't have to mess with people and could just do the prescriptions.
That might not apply to you Henry, but you seem like you'd be very capable at something interesting.
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