tomboy4good wrote:
Wefunction, while I applaud the fact that you have gotten your DX. I am still living on the fringe....have been since I can remember. My souvenirs are the bumps & bruises of physical & emotional abuse. If you'd like some of them, help yourself. By fringe I am saying without a viable support system from anyone. I have been forced to get by pretty much on my own since I was a child as I had little support from an uncaring unloving family. Is that on the fringe enough for you?
Tomboy
No, it's not on the fringe enough because I've been there. Even if AS was known in the schools at the time I was a kid, my parents still would not have pursued it. My mother was very abusive. As far as physical scars, I'll show you all of mine over drinks some time. Until that time, I don't accept a rough childhood as a reason not to achieve. I see it as a reason to achieve. You are better than your source and it's up to you to prove it. There's no fringe. There's only you and what you're willing to do in this world. If you have a candle to burn, burn it. No one is going to blow it out unless you let them.
My diagnosis answered a lot of questions. It put to rest that myth that I'm lazy or uncaring about certain things. Not only did it make my husband feel better about his wife but it made me feel more secure because a lot of self-doubt rested in not knowing why I was like this when I knew I wasn't doing it on purpose.
Having said that, my diagnosis came without my expectation. It was brought to me by my psychologist and psychiatrist, who evaluated me at my psychologist's request. I would have never thought Aspergers fit me. I had a lot of misconceptions and argued at length with both the psychologist and psychiatrist as they, together, took an hour to explain to me my diagnosis and why it fits. Ironically, that moment was very aspie. If I had realized Aspergers was a fit for me from information I'd reviewed on the internet and in medical journals, I'd feel just as secure. When my diagnosis was being threatened by Manny Misdiagnosis a few months ago, I knew I just needed to maintain General Anxiety Disorder and Depression to receive the medications that help and, thankfully, I was able to get rid of that guy and find a more appropriate psychologist. Still, my medication is now prescribed by a Nurse Practitioner and you know what it addresses? Anxiety and Depression.
Since there's no Aspergers Pill that's going to help you remember, help you stay on task and help you know what to say at what moment in a social situation, there's little point in a formal diagnosis if you already know who you are.
What I recommend for you is not an evaluation and diagnosis for an autism spectrum disorder but rather therapy for the abuse that you've survived. You need coping tools. These tools are essential. It's likely you're lacking a lot of social tools, not because of AS, but because of the abuse because abusive parents don't really give their children the lessons they need to to learn to relate and advance in the world. Many of these parents actually fight to hold their kids back. It's very sick. So, you need some kind of help to get sorted out and know how to plant your feet when you decide where you stand. Proceed with the assumption that you have Aspergers Syndrome and make compensations for yourself (write things down, repeat things, etc).
If there's a fringe, it's because you've created it and placed yourself there. You don't have to isolate yourself simply because your abusers decided you weren't worthy of their love. There's a world out there that's waiting for you to do whatever you want with it.