obsessed with Death and dying

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This. I've been down the suicidal, depressed road, and a few people called me an attention-seeker. In the end I was commited to a psych ward, and more than once at that. It's funny how nobody cares about you, doesn't bother to notice you until you attempt suicide. Then, not only are you a nobody, but also an attention whore who doesn't even know how to commit suicide "the right way".

This. I've been down the suicidal, depressed road, and a few people called me an attention-seeker. In the end I was commited to a psych ward, and more than once at that. It's funny how nobody cares about you, doesn't bother to notice you until you attempt suicide. Then, not only are you a nobody, but also an attention whore who doesn't even know how to commit suicide "the right way".

Theygomew sorry I read over my last post, he has been taking strattera for some time now, he started prozac a few months ago.

He gets really depressed without the medication (strattera) we had to take him off it while the local services last year reviewed him and this was for 3 months the suicidal ideation were constant and we were back and forth to the psychiatrist a different one weekly. We put him back on the strattera and things improved again but not fully.

He is taking the prozac which has stopped his bad thoughts and repetitive behaviour (hand shaking etc and his anxiety even though he is still anxious but not as bad.

With the medications there is a huge improvement but we still have periods of scary behaviour.

You are right to suspect that there is a coded message there. Not just in the obsession but in the details as well. I suspect that this is 'attention seeking' but not the simple 'look at me' type. The details add up to more than just an attempt to gain your attention, there may be unconscious pain and anger on top of the obvious depression.

Some things that made me wonder -
> 'Destroy humanity' - revenge seeking?
> '...gets very low...' - obviously gets depressed.
> Suicide attempt - if he wasn't stopped, do you think he would have followed through?
> '...behavioral...' - maybe it is to a degree? Is there any evidence that he is attempting to get a specific response from you? How do different responses (or you demeanor) change his focus on death related obsession?
> '...vampires...' - omnipotent beings he might envy, for their ability to control their environment and deal with annoyances effectively?
> '...the moon...' - wants to get away - really, really, really far away?
> Your relatives that passed away or have cancer - jealous? Confusion or anger over life's capriciousness?

More questions -
> are they certain of his diagnosis?
> Has the doctor discussed the overwhelming evidence that Prozac (and other such meds) will cause an increase in suicidiality? It is so bad that the FDA here in The States has issued special warnings regarding their use in children, adolescents and young adults - http://depression.emedtv.com/prozac/pro ... icide.html
>The bullying has to stop, obviously. How fully aware of the abuse are you? How fully aware of it is your son? Has anything occurred that is 'over the top'? Something that might have caused him to respond with PTSD or sublimation of the experience? God forbid but maybe some kind of molesting?

I posed the last question because that is my unfortunate experience - abuse of which I was not fully aware but which ended up causing decades of bizarre and disturbing behavior on my part. It is something I still deal with, more effectively now that I am more fully aware of it. If something has happened and you can get to it now, then there is more hope that your son can get beyond it that much more quickly.

I pray that your son hasn't suffered something horrible that he has buried away in some dark corner and there is no reason for me to believe he has.

When someone has actually tried to harm themselves, it is much more serious than simply trying for attention! Your doctor is not taking this seriously. He/She is out of line.

1. Switch to a different doctor in that organization, and make sure you find one who will take this seriously, and won't just brush this off as attention getting behavior.

2. Wean your son off of caffeine and as much processed sugar as you can. Too much of these things cause kids to be hyper, and have other physical and mental problems.

3. Don't use artificial sweeteners. They also cause health problems, as they have toxic effects on the body. At least one of them, (can't remember which), converts to toxic formaldehyde in the body.

4. Use fruits, and fruit juices as sugar substitutes. Our bodies are designed to handle those, so they don't make us ill from using them.

5. Make sure your son gets plenty of sleep. Not enough sleep can make people hyper--yes, hyper, because it puts things in our bodies out of whack. It also makes people cranky, and sometimes irrational. So, limit time on the TV, computer usage time, and computer game time. It would be a good idea to not let him watch programs with dark and/or evil themes, as he is too impressionable right now, and it's having a bad effect on him. So, no more vampire movies.

While you are weaning your son off of these things he will be acting up worse for a while, as he will be going through withdrawal, so this will make him cranky, and hard to manage for a while. It would be best to start doing this during a vacation time, like the upcoming holiday time.

A while after weaning him from these things you should see some improvement, but he still needs to see a doctor for his dangerous behavior.

Good luck, and remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

School is a huge stress for him, I do not suspect he has been abused sexually. I do limit tv, computer and play station. He doesn't watch vampire movie's but was reading books by Darren Shan he got obsessed with these I got worried about it at the time I was just happy that he was reading to get him to read books can be difficult. He attends a play therapist and I asked her to read the books as they were age appropriate she felt they were ok.

He doesn't drink tea or coffee, fizzy drinks are limited and he is good with this, sweets again limited. He doesn't have a great diet fussy with foods so fruit only apple and banana and pears. Eats only plan food no veg. He sleep is a problem always wakes up at night broken sleep. He is involved in sport even exercise doesn't help to improve his sleep problems.

Thanks for all your advise. I feel his dx is correct he has been dx with ASD, ADHD, OCD they said he has no serious mental health illness. Both sides of the family have mental illness dx.

I agree with Sweetleaf, I have tried to commit suicide with over five hundred pills before all to wake up in hospital room with a doctor calling me attention seeking. I could have injured him at that moment and I am a rather passive person. My reasoning being with all of the physical pain I was in lying in that hospital bed, no one seemed to understood the emotional pain I was in which was far worse.

I am rather surprised he hasn't been hospitalized for this, what kind of psychiatrist regards this kind of threat as attention seeking?

It seems like a lot more than just attention seeking to me. I think that he's really depressed and he needs help.

Bullying does consist of a lot of one off incidents. But these one off incidents represent a pattern of abuse of another person. So I would keep my mind on that and speak to the teachers. Is there any chance you can change his school? A change may shock him out of his obsession with death.

But to me this does not sound like simple attention seeking. It sounds like he is deeply troubled and is having a hard time explaining to anyone so his talk of death could be his way of screaming: "There is something wrong".

I hope you can somehow help him to overcome this but its hard to know what to do. Have you ever given him time off from school? Say a week or so. You could do that and see if his mood changes. If he seems more relaxed and talks about death less, then that could indicate there is something wrong at school.

Yeah, that is ridiculous.......thats probably why the counseling I went to did not help much because they did not really take me as seriously as they should have. I almost feel like my mom should have given them the go ahead on the psych ward option, who knows maybe I would not be doing as horribly as I am now...then again though it could have possibly made things even worse.

Prozac is not a good thing for kids under 18, one of the side effects thats more common with people under 18 is increased risk of depression and suicide so I would suggest getting him off that.....have you talked to him about how he thinks the prozac effects him and if its actually helping? he's the only one who can know how it makes him feel.

uhh sorry, but I just can't understand where these professionals you're talking to are getting their facts. ASD, ADHD, OCD and the possible Major Depressive Disorder can all be very serious. ASD's are not so much an illness in my opinion but the others can be serious mental illnesses especially Depression can lead to feeling suicidal and the others can just make life quite difficult because of how they interfere with functioning.

I was going to say this but someone beat me to it!

My question would be, were these suicidal behaviours present before he went on the Prozac? I'm on Prozac and haven't had much problems with it but I have to be constantly monitered for suicidal thoughts.

If not... That's where it gets difficult. But CAMHS shouldn't be writing it off as 'attention seeking' by any means. Unfortunately, we suffer from CAMHS in England as well (I notice you are in Ireland) and they are either really good, or in my case really bad. The fact your son got diagnosed at all suggests that diagnostically, they are better than my local, but it doesn't sound like they are listening to your concerns. If need be, write all of this down in a letter and send it to someone such as his GP or a psychiatrist. At least if you have it in writing, they can't claim you didn't ask for any help (which is what they did to my Mum on several occasions).

ANY talk of suicide should be taken VERY seriously. Doctors should never simply write it off. I wonder how many troubled youngsters who have actually taken their own lives were written off in this way? No one ever took me seriously about my suicide talk then one day I swallowed a load of pills and ended up in a psych ward. My parents were also told I was 'attention seeking'. I hope things get better for both you and your son.

I read the title of the thread and initially thought it was similar to myself, but now I've read the detail I can see that it isn't.

A few years back when I was severely depressed (but before I realised how depressed I was) I too was obsessed with death. Not with a wish to die myself, nor for anyone else, but with constant intrusive thoughts about the futility of life and of my own mortality.

Anyway, whatever the cause it isn't healthy to brood on such thoughts as you can get caught in a negative spiral so some fairly swift intervention and help sounds advisable especially considering his age.

He has been taking prozac for a few months the death obsession has been going on for years and the threatening of suicide/self harm and acting on it has happen a number of times over the years with and without medication. Without medication he gets very dark moods for days with medication moods vary.

He feels the prozac is not helping, but I have seen improvements in compulsive/repetitive behaviours and he is not getting bad thoughts he used to have these daily. His anxiety levels have improve but because he is taking medication I feel he is still too anxious.

Last edited by Annmaria on 13 Dec 2011, 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

In primary school I was home educated after three years of talking about suicide (and threatening) and it really calmed me. It was only for a year though. Maybe you could just take your son out of school for less long than that - just a temporary break and see what happens. It could be a boost to his confidence as well if he goes back to school with a bit more knowledge than his peers.