What have you done to become more likeable?

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BY not mentioning my AS/HFA to anyone unless I feel comfortable also trying my best to act as NT as possible until I get home exhausted and plop on the couch.

I learned to keep my talking about obsessions to a fair minimum.

I learned to not complain about everything and anything so much, only when it's the right time (eg, when the other person is complaining about something I can join in)

Force myself to smile at people ..... I still forget though

To the majority of people I appear very "normal." I never knew that I had AS until now so I just had to learn to manage with it. My problem is that I don't really care if people like me, but I think that I "should" care if people like me. Therefore, I try not to offend them (even though I don't really feel bad if I do).

Things I try and do (but these are all hard and I have to think about them):

-Don't tell other people they are wrong if it does not matter
-Say please and thank you
-Hold the door for people
-Don't say what I "really" think

With all that said, I have lots of friends. However, I apparently lack the ability to construct personal relationships. For example, I would say that I have about 30 or so friends that I am fine seeing 1-3 times per year. I am always hanging out with someone, but I avoid getting too close to anyone. This makes family life hard.

I find that this is especially hard with my kids (who I love). I even have to remember to treat my kids in ways that show I love them in ways that they can understand. Most of the things that they do for me I never even notice.

I just want to be left alone. I have no interest in putting on a big faking act just to make people I don't care about and don't even want to be around like me.

Generally I'm not disliked by people, but I'm not liked by them either. I stay under the radar and always get forgotten by people (unless I'm trying to make jokes, which always fail).

Here are a few things I've started doing to be more like by people:

-I smile alot. After reading about body language a few years ago, I found out that people respond well to smiling. At first I had to force myself, but now it's become a habit and it comes naturally.
-I always try to dress well.
-I complement people.
-I've learnt how to gossip. It's a good conversation device when you don't know what to talk about and people always respond well to gossip. Although I'm trying to cut down on it because sometimes I accidently say things I wasn't meant to and I feel really bad.
-I try to keep my head up when I'm walking around.

Just be myself and don't care as much about being accepted or liked by others.

Nothing and I never cared.

I've never ever been popular, or had lots of friends but I don't seem to offend people generally so I guess that makes me likeable...I was once described by a teacher a long time ago as being too nice to my parents...didn't really get me friends at the time though...

Later in life (from late teens onwards) I think the traits I list below mean I've been able to rub along with people ok without problem

I always deliberately try to be very polite to everyone I meet - I was taught that this was very very important by my parents and grandparents when young - people sometimes remark on how polite I am.

If I say something that seems to have upset someone or made them angry I will always apologise - I may do this slightly too often though and not be assertive enough.

I also try and smile at people too - not sure if this come naturally or not, as I've been doing it so long it's natural now, but I vaguely remember reading something about this being good for body language to appear friendly (I can't remember where - but think I was in my late teens at the time) so it is done semi-deliberately.

I did once make myself very likeable while I was in Middle school and I was accepted for a few years, but all I had to do was be a homophobe to fit in. That changed quite a bit when the people at the school I went to got to HS and some began to realize that such an attitude was wrong and I basically lost all communication with my old "friends" and went back to being friends with the other "weird" people and didn't spend time with many other people.

I learned not to be too negative because people don't want to hear it.

I also learned that most people like to go on and on about themselves and so I have learned to shut up and listen.

I have worked on adding intonation to my voice and being less monotone.

I learned to be more open about my feelings but not too open. People want to see enough emotion to know that you are human, but not enough that they feel they have to do something about it.

I try not to talk about my obsession of the moment too much. Most of the times no one cares and some of the times people draw the wrong conclusions. I swear that I have to be in a government database somewhere because of the odd things I have spent inordinate amounts of time researching. (Why do these aerial drones keep following me everywhere? )

I go out of my way to help others with their problems.

I've learned and applied the rule that social interactions aren't all about me...people like to talk about themselves, and I always tend to focus the conversation on the other person, especially when I'm meeting someone new or just getting to know them. With most people, I let them lead the conversations and I will add comments, ask questions and truly listen to what they are saying. I don't talk about myself unless I ask, since it can be tough for people to really become engaged with the things I'm interested in.

I've learned to only bring my interests up when the conversation is about them specifically. Mine are usually so specific that I just research them online and don't really reveal much about them in person.

Although I inhibit my interests and I'm hardly perfect when it comes to my friendships, I play upon my positive qualities that make me a good friend. I'm very witty when the mood calls for it, as I have a good sense of what people my age tend to find generally funny. I also smile and laugh a lot, but I adjust this depending who I'm talking to. Generally though, I like people who are positive, fun, intelligent, and creative in some way. I get along less well with those who tend to be stuck-up or focused on perfection in others. You have to know yourself and what kinds of groups work for you.

I'm generous with my compliments (not in an over the top or fake way) and always say and do things to show people I enjoy their company. I always say "Great to meet you" or "Nice seeing you again". I try to make people feel valued.

Around 6 months ago, I've also decided to get in better touch with what things the people in my main (NT) peer group enjoy so that we can find common ground and have topic-based discussions together. For example, they all seem to be into the latest geeky movies like The Avengers and Prometheus. Although I wouldn't say that they are the most fascinating or original types of media in the world, I will share their enthusiasm and at least take the time to research what they're about.

Lately, I've learned and used outlets for getting out my anxiety/negative feelings/self doubt so I don't bum out my friends with it...I write, meditate, and see my amazing psychologist weekly.