If you are not working, and people ask "What do you do?

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I used to say I was unemployed when I wasn't working. Now I say am a janitor now that I am working. I also have no problem saying I am a stay at home mother and now I say I am a housewife since our kid isn't living with us.

I say I was pensioned off by the Church of England because I was too mad to be a Vicar.
This is true in my case, but it proves such a conversation stopper that others might find it effective as well....

"Nothing."

"I'm in between jobs right now."

"Insert your desired career path here."

"I'm bumming around, sponging off family/friends/society."

"I'm looking for a job in XYZ industry / career field right now."

Tell them you can't find a job because of a felony conviction. Then ask, "Hey, you think you could put in a good word for me at your company?" They'll be happy to change the subject.

I just say 'I usually work in retail, but I'm between jobs at the moment' and then try and look upbeat. Most people then talk away about the economy and I just smile and nod and then try and change the subject or slink away.

People used to ask me that when I was younger and sometimes went to the bar. I told them "nothing".

Now people usually don't ask me that because I don't go out of the house much.

Usually I think people just answer with whatever their last job, or their favorite hopeful job would be. If they must say that they're not working, then a positive answer which might make it sound like a planned hiatus from work, might lessen the chances that they'll judge you as being unemployed for lazy reasons. Maybe to sound as if you're newly trained to take a higher job, and the one you qualify for, is going to open up in a few weeks or months.

If they ask me what I do, I can honestly answer several ways. I'm self-employed with my wife; we have an avocado ranch, and do OK with it, and also own and manage a couple of rental units. Some people would accuse us of "not working", but in fact, the stress and responsibility is more than it would be, in many "regular jobs". If somebody calls us at 3:00 AM, and says their toilet is overflowing, I have to go immediately to see about it. And if we don't keep ontop of the avocado business, and keep up on all of the constantly-changing USDA rules, etc., and know who to call for what services, it would fail, and there is no boss or supervisor to warn us. So it's a big responsibility. But when I tell anyone that I'm self-employed, they somehow think I mean I have no job, so sometimes I leave out the owner-operator part, and say "I'm a manager at an agricultural office", and that usually shuts them up with the questions. I never tell people I'm a landlord, or that we own apartments, because people don't think of that as "real work" either. At age 45, I won't have to wait more than 10 years and I'll just tell people I'm retired

Charles

I say I sometimes work with my dad. Or bring up your last job, even if it was a year ago. But, you pretty much gotta tell them to screw off.

I used to tell people I was in collecting

i say im going to college...=/

though i know many don't have that luxury

but i still apathetic about saying that...

hope to one day again be in the work force...