How do you recognize people to be avoided?

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Dillogic
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01 Feb 2013, 9:08 pm

Emotional people (that's primarily emotional; everyone is emotional, but if you're just emotional and without rational thinking, you aren't for me).



auntblabby
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01 Feb 2013, 11:20 pm

people who make animal noises at me.



CockneyRebel
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02 Feb 2013, 12:13 am

If the person attacks me for no reason, I avoid them in the future. 90 percent of the people that I deal with are on the Internet.


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Fatal-Noogie
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02 Feb 2013, 1:31 am

Surfman wrote:
short people are nasty
Oh hi Randy Newman. :D I didn't know you were on WP.
Careful. Don't strain your back when you bend down to shake my hand.

CockneyRebel wrote:
If the person attacks me for no reason, I avoid them in the future. 90 percent of the people that I deal with are on the Internet.
What are you saying? Are you saying internet dwellers like me are unbalanced, emotionally shallow reprobates who are easily provoked? I'll have you know I am a shining pinnacle of love, tolerance, and understanding, so don't f**k with me!
(Just kidding. just kidding.)

To address the OP question:
I'm more interested in reducing my "to avoid" list and staying off other people's "to avoid" list.
I think humans by their nature are too cynical and prejudiced to start with.
If we want to find a reason to distrust someone, we find it: however small.
Anyone can look like a villain when viewed thru the wrong eyes.

This is not meant to dismiss or refute any of the suggestions in the comments.
I grant that some people should be avoided,
but after being avoided by so many others based on my appearance and mannerisms,
I strive to withhold my own judgements and not become a hypocrite.


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Surfman
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02 Feb 2013, 1:52 am

I pretty much avoid everyone unless I'm at the beach or meet someone interesting
Most interactions with NT's end badly for me
I find most others to be of a low vibration and conversations produce lowered spirits or anxiety
I find many others mercenary and selfish, but maybe I share and demand too much from others

Its like you need the right clothes and haircut to gain acceptance, in some instances



Arrow
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02 Feb 2013, 4:28 am

jk1 wrote:
Some people are so natural at pretending to be a nice person. But I have learned some things. For example, however nice someone may be to you, if he/she starts bitching to you about someone else quite easily, then that is an indication that he/she will eventually do or might already have been doing the same about you. Also, people who change their attitude depending on who's around or on the situation, also are not to be trusted.


Yes, I noticed the same, therefore I can't trust females who are too nice and sweet and love to talk about private things. Whatever you will tell them, they will pass it on and the whole neighborhood will know you without your consent.



LimitedSlip
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02 Feb 2013, 5:12 am

auntblabby wrote:
people who make animal noises at me.


MOO

I've got plenty of (offensive) criteria. Honestly though I don't even have to try to avoid people. I'm like Walter White on Breaking Bad. Nobody can touch me, oh yeah a few people have come close but "I am the danger".



hanyo
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02 Feb 2013, 5:30 am

My list of people to be avoided is simple. All of them (pretty much).



verlorenModus
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02 Feb 2013, 5:47 am

auntblabby wrote:
people who make animal noises at me.


that makes me a sad panda...

its easy, the bad people are bipedal, mostly hairless with opposable thumbs and cell phones. the good people are small, furry, quadrapeds that say "meow". im pretty fluent in meow for a human.



GnothiSeauton
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02 Feb 2013, 10:04 am

I usually observe the person's eyes and how they look at me, other people and objects. I learned to recognize how cynical or how naive the person is through that. ASD people tend to shift focus frequently when in an object rich or social settings, while neurotypical's eyes don't wander about so much.
If you've got someone whose eyes appear boundlessly cynical and dead focused on you, other people or objects, you're likely facing a true psychopath and that's probably one type of a person to be avoidant/careful of.
Personally I like screwing with their heads by not appropriating my facial expression and body language to what I'm saying or trying to express at the specific time. It makes it difficult for them to read me and therefore they have a harder time finding a proper technique to manipulate me (I don't need the "love" of sob's).



Ann2011
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02 Feb 2013, 10:38 am

Aperture wrote:
Do you have any specific ways that you've learned to identify people who are likely to cause problems in your life?

I avoid people who exude negative energy. You can tell these people by how they make you feel. If you come away from them feeling unsettled, then try to avoid them.
Examples of negative energy are: always looking at the bad side of things, putting you down, angry people, people who blame others for things rather than taking responsibility themselves.



Aperture
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02 Feb 2013, 2:45 pm

Wow! What great responses...and so many of them! I guess this thread must kind of resonate with people. I have a hard time picking "favorites" among all the good responses, but here are some that really stick out for me:

Surfman wrote:
those who are trying to profit by your suffering
they will keep their customers where they want them

Yes, definitely.

auntblabby wrote:
people who make animal noises at me.

I agree that that's probably a good rule of thumb.

jk1 wrote:
Some people are so natural at pretending to be a nice person. But I have learned some things. For example, however nice someone may be to you, if he/she starts bitching to you about someone else quite easily, then that is an indication that he/she will eventually do or might already have been doing the same about you. Also, people who change their attitude depending on who's around or on the situation, also are not to be trusted.

That all seems very true to me.

Thanks to everyone who's posted so far. For anyone else who has something to say on this subject, please feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your input.



Last edited by Aperture on 02 Feb 2013, 4:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Surfman
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02 Feb 2013, 2:46 pm

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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02 Feb 2013, 5:53 pm

A few signs I've seen along the way:

They are always "not speaking" to at least one person. But they carry on the fight via Facebook anyway.
There has to be an enemy at all times, and sooner or later they'll make it you.
There is always a sad story, and they are always the victim of the piece. They take no responsibility for anything they do.
Their relationships are chaotic. They move in, get engaged or pregnant within about a month of meeting a new partner. Then it falls apart a month later. They don't have a good word to say about any of their exes.
They ask to borrow money within days of knowing you.
They tell you tales of their drug use, speeding, violence etc. They are telling you exactly what they are here so listen.

And the biggest red flag of all? Not one of their own family members will speak to them anymore.


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