I'm soooo sensetive

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Thanks for that.

I too find eye contact with some people quite painful, this makes it difficult for me to have anything to do with them.

This week I was really stressed out at work and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head and I couldn't explain or express myself to anyone. I ended up getting really upset, to the point where I came home and I really had an overwhelming compulsion to want to harm myself. I knew that the things that I was feeling were nothing to do with me, so I just held on.

The next day when I went into work, I was in conversation with someone and it all came out that he had been in the bosses office complaining that the company was breaking the law and that he had been to see a solicitor, he was really wound up about an issue that isn't that big a deal. However, the things he was telling me were all the things that had been whirling around in my head.

Since this person told me all that, all the bad feeling just disappeared. I think I must have been sensing the tension in the air. It was absolutely crippling me.

No worries. That sounds like an intense experience. It is good to hear that you eventually received an answer for that experience and the tension dissipated.

As I mentioned in my previous post, where your attention goes energy flows. I find this true when I am out and about, so I try to keep my attention focused inward and not on other people. I find that if I put my attention on others I start to pick stuff up from them, for instance, when I looked at someone at a bus-stop (I was on the bus) I started to get these random thoughts in my head 'stupid b*tch', 'I'm useless' and all this other stuff. Insecurities the individual had about themselves. I am sure if you picked up these sorts of things and voiced them without thinking as a child you'd get a really bad response from that person.

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Willard, empathy is used as a broad term. Apparently there is no universally accepted definition for empathy or sympathy, and some writers confuse the two. I have also read things broken down into empathy, sympathy, pity and compassion. From my reading, I understand that there are different kinds of empathy e.g. affective, cognitive and somatic. I have heard the term emotional contagion being used to describe affective empathy. Various books on trauma go into the role of mirror-neurons and affective and somatic empathy. Interpersonal neurobiology and neuroscience cover similar things. Personally, I experience somatic and affective empathy. Through university studies (social work and counselling) I have developed cognitive empathy. 'Empathic' abilities are covered in female AS profiles (created by specialists who have worked with women for a number of years). In fact, women are meant to be overly-empathic and sensitive to the emotional environment. I know that in the advanced training I attended on diagnosing AS they covered how some women with AS say they can see auras around other people. Scientifically known (but not fully understood) as Synesthesia. Lexical-gustatory synesthesia is another form (tasting words). I personally do not experience this phenomena, but I note that others say they do. And I can accept that.

Sympathy and 'cognitive empathy' is what those on the spectrum are meant to lack and not all NTs are good at cognitive empathy - the learned 'social skill' you're referring to (perspective taking or imaginative empathy). I know a lot of counselling books focus on trying to teach individuals cognitive empathy skills because many people lack these skills. It requires active listening skills. So, yes it is a skill that can be developed. There are also many definitions/understandings of sympathy (the same with empathy). For instance, one interpretation of sympathy states that 'sympathy means you recognise another persons suffering' and another states 'feeling "sorry for" the person as a result of perceiving the distress of the person'. Empathy, on the other hand, is your ability to share it. Apparently you can feel sympathy without experiencing empathy. So, there is a distinction between the two. Many people actually engage in 'sympathy' and not empathy with others.

I wouldn't call it a 'psychic power'. The associations that go with that are quite off-putting. What is a psychic power exactly? It's just a word used to describe something that is, to date, beyond 'rational' explanation. Quite a few things experienced by those on the spectrum can be described as such.

I'm sensitive as well if anyone upsets me I can get upset and either yell at them or shut down and not talk to them for weeks.
When I was younger I was worse and people always said to me "You take things to heart" they probably did have a point.
but it was hard not to.
If anyone corrected me I always felt they were criticizing me then I would take offence.

I am thin skinned and ultra sensitive to the point I swear I must be a reincarnated woman Sadly though once the bullies figured THAT out my life was made to be miserable. If someone rejects me it can take weeks or months to get over it and I have been unable to get past things that happened 20 years ago as they still make me upset.

Whats worse is that at 6'6" 205 lbs people think I am tough or a former bully when in reality I am as soft as a kitten.

The hyperemotionality component of intense world theory?

How did this affect your behaviors from childhood to adulthood?

I am selective mute, so as a child I wasn't at all verbal. I used to act out my emotions. I was very destructive to the point where I was banned from the whole of the city centre and also sectioned. back then no one understood why I didn't talk either. Which I find very odd.

As I got a bit older (early 20's) I would say things that just popped into my head. I would say them at people and really freak people out. Like one time I just blurted out "wife beater" to someone.

I don't know if he was a wife beater but it was something I saw in his eyes. I couldn't not say it. I've blurted out other things to people too.

I just keep it all in now. I've learned that shouting things out is bad.

I still can't express my emotions, and I'm too old to be breaking things. Sometimes I feel like a coiled spring.

Most of the time I am quite chilled though.

I'll just try and not get involved with people anymore. It's more trouble that it's worth for me.

I am very sensitive too. All it takes is being around someone else who is in a bad mood and I absorb it and feel like crap. Oftentimes I have no idea why I'm feeling so garbagey until I really think about all that happened and what I was around during the day. If I get into a disagreement (usually my husband, but others when I was younger) I can't focus on anything for a day or two; it's like my brain just shuts down. This might sound silly, but if I see animals or kids in pain or otherwise suffering (like seeing roadkill while out driving or a kid in a store getting yelled at by a parent) it lingers with me and my brain goes to it for days afterward.

I try to isolate myself and write or draw or even play a video game to decompress when it happens. It's not a fun feeling.

Thanks everyone. For probably the first time in my life I don't so feel alone.

I'm really glad I made this thread.

I've never before been able to talk about this, because I've never been able to find the right words for it.

Thanks for all of your help.

Awesome. I agree, it's good to hear from others who share similar experiences. I wanted to thank you for feeling 'safe' enough to start the thread.